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Script-writing Helps Her Understand Meaning of Loss

Posted on July 28, 2010 - by Anne Hamilton

The body is gone, but the love remains. This is the bottom line for so many of us. We may miss the person’s physical presence, but more often it’s the person’s mind/soul/body presence which we long for. And yet, the love remains. I’ve been taking a “deliberate journey of the soul” in search of deeper healing since June of last year, which was the 30th anniversary of my friend Curtis’ death. We were in high school and spent a lot of time together before he was killed in a car accident at age 17. I often wish that I could […]

Don’t Just Heal Grief, Transform it

Posted on July 27, 2010 - by Tabitha Jayne

There is a tendency in our society to talk about healing loss, like it is a physical wound. It reduces loss to nothing more than an illness to be cured. Our objective is to heal it as quickly as possible and get back to normal. This approach has failed us in our understanding of loss and made us miss the real nature of loss. It has created a society that is reluctant to express loss, and we thus keep the loss inside of us, instead of letting it go. Transformation is the real nature of loss. It shows us that […]

Grief Lessons from the Wal-Mart Truck

Posted on July 27, 2010 - by David Roberts

I have used many analogies and metaphors to describe my grief journey in the seven years since my daughter Jeannine died. During my early grief, I frequently described feeling, on a good day, like I had been consistently pummeled with a baseball bat. On an excruciating day, it felt like two baseball bats were simultaneously pummeling me. As my journey has progressed, my analogies are not so much related to the pain of Jeannine’s death, but rather on what her death has taught me. Late last week, I was driving to a baseball game. As soon as I pulled onto […]

When a Friend Dies

Posted on July 26, 2010 - by Ken Doka

When I picked up my four-year old grandson at preschool, Kenny was proud to introduce me to his new friend. Even at a young age, we begin the life-long process of making friends. If Kenny’s lucky, he may even keep some of the friends he makes in these early years. I still have a friend that goes way back to third grade. Friends are an important part of our life. They keep us grounded and shape our identities. We trust them with our secrets. Our friends are not thrust upon us — we choose them. Some of our favorite films, […]

Mother Leaves Memory Box to Grateful Daughters

Posted on July 25, 2010 - by Alex James

The following is based on a true story: Some time after our mother’s death, my sister and I arranged to meet at our mother’s home to begin the process of sorting out her belongings. It was a beautiful spring morning; the sun was shining and the first blossoms were appearing on the trees. There was a mix of feelings for both of us; on one hand we knew that we had to start the process of cleaning and sorting, and on the other, we felt the finality and having to accept that Mum had died. We stood in the hallway. “It’s cold,” […]

Helping Others Helps You

Posted on July 25, 2010 - by Ariane de Bonvoisin

Taking time to put your situation to the side and to focus on somebody else is a powerful way to get back in touch with who you are and what you can give. When you stop obsessing about your own pain and problems and instead direct your energy to helping somebody else, you will find that you also have the strength to move through your grief. I know a woman who recently became a single mother. During this period, she decided to help an elderly woman who lived across the street in her neighborhood with grocery shopping, meals, and general […]

Writing Poetry Helps Decades After Friend’s Death

Posted on July 24, 2010 - by Anne Hamilton

June 11th of last year was the 30th anniversary of the death of my friend Curtis in a car accident. As part of my healing process, I set out on a “deliberate journey of the soul,” to clean out whatever vestiges of internal emotional and psychological damage that might be stopping me from living a full life. I trusted that if I thought again about Curtis, I would learn something valuable about myself. And as a writer and artist, I knew that I would express myself in appropriate and meaningful ways. In this series, I share the things I’ve learned, […]

How to Tell Your Grief Story So Others Will Listen

Posted on July 23, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Every mourner has a story to share. You may share your story with family members, close friends, and community groups. But you need to share it without upsetting listeners so much they turn you off. How can you do this? I have shared my story of multiple losses with many groups and take a “then and now” approach. It begins with the darkness of multiple losses, moves on to coping, doing my grief work, and the new life I am living today. You may take a similar approach. Jenna Baddeley offers some tips in her “Psychology Today” website article, “Speaking […]

Six Months After Sister’s Murder, an Arrest and More Questions

Posted on July 22, 2010 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

When my sister was murdered in her home in September of 2009, my life changed forever. The questions that flood your mind in these circumstances are unbearable. Not knowing who murdered my sister was all-consuming. Every day, I waited for my phone to ring, to hear the detective’s voice telling me an arrest was made. I tried to prepare myself for that day. How would I react? Would I be overjoyed? Would I feel relief? There is no script for this, no rule book. You learn as you go. I experienced frustration at the lack of an answer. I already […]

The Healing Power of Creativity

Posted on July 21, 2010 - by Tambre Leighn

When my late husband and I first began dating, he set clear boundaries with regard to his time. Sundays during football season were off limits. He was an avid fan and pretty good at picking the spreads. Saturday mornings were dedicated to painting out on the back patio of his sparsely furnished West Hollywood apartment. So he was pleasantly surprised to find out that I loved football and I, too, had interests I wished to continue to nurture outside of our relationship. As our lives unfolded and we moved from dating to marriage, from a rental in West Hollywood to […]