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Lost in the Widowhood

Posted on July 18, 2010 - by Catherine Tidd

“I feel so lost.” How many times have we felt that way? How many times have we heard that from other grievers? How many times have we just wanted to pull on a t-shirt that says it, so we just don’t have to explain anymore why we’re operating in such a daze? We all go through these periods of feeling lost. Like we’re floating out there in the world with nothing to anchor us. We make the best effort we can to find that connection–the internet, support groups, counseling–something, anything to make us feel like we’re still part of the […]

Traveling to Planet Grief and Back

Posted on July 17, 2010 - by Mitch Carmody

I am continually amazed at the choreography of the dance that I experience at The Compassionate Friends national conference, and the huge impact is has on my body, mind and spirit when I walk off the dance floor and return home. From spending 4 or 5 days on “planet grief,” we return home to the mundane realities of the real world and try to blend in with its preoccupied inhabitants who for the most part know nothing of our secret planet. They don’t wear buttons of a dead child pinned to their clothing; they don’t wear name tags around their […]

Daydreaming About Deceased Son: Healthy or Not?

Posted on July 16, 2010 - by Amy C. Maddocks

Have you ever thought about what life would be like if your child had not died? I have, I do, I almost live every minute thinking of my son. I’m sure most parents who have lost a child have them constantly in their minds. The question, then, really is: Does it consume your every moment? Awake or asleep? Almost everywhere I go or anything I do, I imagine my precious Connor by my side. I picture him walking along the river with me each morning as I walk a two-mile stretch with a friend of mine. Her three kids join […]

The Hard Work of Dying

Posted on July 15, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

Imagine that you’re preparing for a thirty-day trip to a foreign country and you’re limited to taking only what can be carried in a backpack. Your decisions on what to take or leave behind will determine the quality of your experience. Too many items and the weight will be burdensome. Not enough of the right ones and you might be forced to neglect some basic needs. We make decisions of this type daily. Take what’s important, leave behind what isn’t. But we tend to oblivious to the importance of these decisions for possibly the most momentous journey of our lives–our […]

When the Griever is a Health-Care Professional

Posted on July 14, 2010 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a Reader: I don’t know where or how to start. I lost a beloved dog a month ago. My other dog is critically ill. I lost a very good friend earlier this year. I am also feeling enormous grief and guilt over the loss of another dog who was killed by a car. I am an RN so maybe you can relate a little. I was in critical care for many years and then worked in oncology and hospice. Most of my patients either died suddenly or suffered and eventually died. My involvement with significant others and family […]

Dating for Widows: Now May be the Time to Cast Your Line

Posted on July 13, 2010 - by Catherine Tidd

Dating after a spouse-loss is kind of like standing on a ledge with a bungee cord attached to you. You sweat, hoping that that bungee cord is gonna hold. You may be ready to take the plunge. Or you may take one look at the view (which looks just fine without the addition of our innards splattered below, thank you very much) and step away. Or, standing on the ledge, we may need a friendly push from a well-intentioned friend who we may be mad at while we’re swinging but once we’re on firm ground we’ll give them a big […]

Wife’s Sudden Death Sends Man on Faith Journey

Posted on July 11, 2010 - by Kyle Shelton

I’ve been living without my wife for seven months now. I’ve had to adjust to a great many things, but the most trying has been my struggle with my faith over that time. I’ve been angry with God, which has consumed me at times. I’ve been angry with Kathy for dying, and I’ve been angry with myself for being pathetic. At first I was consumed by what I perceived as God’s punishment of me. Why would he take the love of my life from me? Why did he not take me instead? Those questions made me doubt everything I’d ever […]

Telling the Positive Story of Your Deceased Child’s Life

Posted on July 10, 2010 - by Sandy Fox

I have a suggestion for all bereaved parents to call up positive memories of your child. First you need to find a quiet place in your home with no distractions, sit in a comfortable chair and with pen and paper or on your computer, jot down a few phrases of every good memory you can think of related to your child. Make the memory phrases just long enough so it is clear in your mind. You may end up with 25, 50, or even over 100. They can be in any order of age. You can rearrange later. Make sure […]

Deceased Son Gives Mom a Sign She Can’t Deny

Posted on July 9, 2010 - by Sheri Perl

There are numerous ways to connect up with loved ones on the other side. While some people experience the feeling of a presence around them, others can hear thoughts in their heads. Most of us can catch a glimpse of our loved ones through our nightly dreams. All of these experiences are subjective. We can never prove them, and they are basically not apparent to anyone but ourselves. However, now and then our loved ones will send a sign that is actually viewable in our physical reality. Of course, you have to be open to it. You can step right […]

Bent But Not Broken After the Loss of a Child

Posted on July 8, 2010 - by Cathy Seehuetter

The beautiful flowering tree planted in Nina’s memory on Memorial Day a year short of a decade ago (by her favorite cousins) looked so regal and smelled so delicious yesterday. I like to think it flowers this time of year as a special birthday message from my “baby girl”. However, with the vicious storm we had last evening, I watched the soft white petals drift and swirl to the ground, as if a deluge of tears from a breaking heart. Today, it sits almost bare – a few petals still hanging on for dear life, unable to let go, desperate […]