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Anger is Natural After a Loss

Posted on May 13, 2010 - by Mary Jane Cronin

Anger is a common natural human emotion following a death. Finding that you are feeling angry at the situation, at a person in particular, or just angry in general is understandable. Getting the anger out in an appropriate way can be a challenge. Traditionally, when angry, you may have been conditioned to “hold your tongue,” suffer in silence, when what you really wanted to do was to yell at the top of your lungs. As a young child, I was taught to hold my anger inside. It was not “lady-like” to scream, yell, or tell someone you were mad at them. […]

‘Sole Parenthood’ Challenges Young Widow and Her Kids

Posted on May 12, 2010 - by Stephanie Cooper

There are times when, as a sole parent, I feel as if I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. When I say “sole” parent, I mean only parent. There is no other parent around to pick up the kids every other weekend. There is no one that can in-case-of-emergency run and grab the kids from school and make sure they are fed while I wrap up whatever it is I happen to be caught up in. There is no one sending me a check every month to cover our joint childcare expenses. There is no one with […]

Father Takes on Mission After Surviving Death of Two Children

Posted on May 11, 2010 - by Kelly Farley

I grew up in a typical blue collar Midwest City where working hard and playing hard was a way of life. Men were expected to toughen up when times got rough and plow through them. There wasn’t room for weakness. When things became too much, you headed to the bar for a few hours. Nobody talked about what they were dealing with. My dad and every other male figure in my life lived by these rules. Since I didn’t know any better, I also subscribed to this way of thinking. I was also taught that if you wanted something bad […]

Love Never Dies

Posted on May 10, 2010 - by Claire Perkins

I sat with my father for the last time on Thursday, the 18th of December, 2008. His condition was not much different from the past several days; he was sleeping and unresponsive. For so many days now, I’d been sitting at his bedside, holding his hand, talking to him and wondering if he even heard me anymore. Watching him breathe. There was so little life left in him. I was scheduled to leave the next morning on a 6 am flight to Colorado to see my daughter graduate from CSU. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be here anymore when […]

Mother’s Day Changes in Years After Child-Loss

Posted on May 8, 2010 - by Chris Mulligan

January 22, 1979. October 1, 2000. As bereaved parents we look at those dates often because they represent our child. Thinking about this Mother’s Day, I recognize how the meaning of those dates has changed for me over the 9 Â½ years since my son Zac’s death. For 21 years, that birth date represented a day that was not only etched in my memory as one of the best days of my life, but it signified the passage of time that added experiences, memories and events to a life that I witnessed. Of course, like every other parent, I never […]

Thank You for Loving Me

Posted on May 8, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

When I was born God gave me The greatest gift of all He gave me my mother. My mother’s love was Unconditional. Her love was Sacrificial, but infinite. Everyday I’m grateful To my Lord For his precious gift A mother’s love. Through her I learned Faith, Hope and Love. The greatest of these Is love. Mom, Happy Mother’s Day. I miss and love you. Thank you for loving me. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, 36 Days Apart Copyright © 2010 http://www.deborahtornillo.com

Making Amends After Mom is Gone

Posted on May 8, 2010 - by Clara Hinton

Mother’s Day had been one of the most dreaded days of my life for a long time–until I learned that guilt can be overcome and forgiveness can take place after the death of your mother. The Mother’s Day before the loss of my stillborn son, I did something that was so out of character for me that I still cannot believe I did it. I totally ignored my mother on Mother’s Day, and I did it knowing that I would hurt her deeply. I was angry with her for being an alcoholic. I was angry with her for ruining her […]

The First Mother’s Day Without Mine

Posted on May 7, 2010 - by Connie Vasquez

I’ve always been adept at compartmentalization or, as it’s less euphemistically known, DENIAL. I’ve read some wonderful books about the grieving process and its non-linear stages, most notably Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler’s On Grief and Grieving. While those books were comforting, I confess that being an only child and a New Yorker make me disdainful of generalizations. Sometimes, though, there’s just no escape; try as we might, the heart feels what the mind and senses seem to ignore. In April, the lilacs begin to bloom. I push back the familiar thoughts that they have always been the Mother’s Day […]

Remembering First Mother’s Day After Daughter’s Death

Posted on May 7, 2010 - by Sue Hunt

Mother’s Day is on its way. You can’t miss it. There are advertisements on TV. Stores have big ads placed everywhere. The Mother’s Day sales are here. Reminders are everywhere. It can be one of the most difficult days to get through, especially following the loss of a child. I remember the first Mother’s Day after Sara passed. It was one of the hardest days to face. I felt so awkward. I definitely felt my heart was broken. But I also realized that I was still a mother to my surviving son, and I was still a mother to my daughter who had […]

Mother’s Day Transforms After Mom’s Suicide

Posted on May 6, 2010 - by Dempsey Rice

A woman I know recently wrote me an email that read: “Little children, I remember, I wonder, was it really me and was it really them?” This little comment struck me because I’ve mused in this very way about my mother who took her own life in October 1987. I’ve thought to myself: Did my mother really take her own life? Is this really my life? My experience? Those musings are part of a little game I used to play with myself: if I question it, if I wonder about it, perhaps I can imagine that it didn’t really happen […]