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Poem: A Prayer of Hope

Posted on February 21, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

Today, I will take baby steps And, hold my head high With a prayer of hope for a smile. Today, I will give myself a hug And, accept that I am a human With a prayer of hope for forgiveness. Today, I will let go of yesterday And, accept that I did my best With a prayer of hope for joy. Today, I will lift my head up And, trust in my heavenly Lord With a prayer of hope for renewal. Today, is the first day of the rest of my life. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, 36 Days Apart Copyright© […]

Support Groups Can Help Those Bereaved by Suicide

Posted on February 21, 2010 - by Barbara Rubel

But I didn’t say goodbye! That’s all I could think about when I learned that my dad killed himself. Friends said that he “was no longer in pain,” and that he loved me. But I didn’t say goodbye and those words weighed heavy on my grieving heart. Approximately 4.5 million Americans became bereaved by suicide in the last 25 years with 199,800 bereaved added in 2006 (AAS, 2009). Sadly, I became a part of that statistic in 1986 when my father killed himself while I was in the hospital awaiting the birth of my triplets. I personally found that attending […]

Poem: It Hurts

Posted on February 20, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

Has it hurt me physically? Yes, it has. If I could do it all over again, would I? Yes, I would. Would I have let someone else do it? No, I couldn’t. Did I comfort you in your time of need? Yes, I did. Could I have done it better? Yes, I could have. Has it hurt me mentally? Yes, it has. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, 36 Days Apart Copyright© 2010 http://www.deborahtornillo.com

God Doesn’t ‘Zap’ Those Who Express Emotion

Posted on February 20, 2010 - by Kevin Quiles

In my twelve years as spiritual counselor, I have seen men and women choke back their feelings while simultaneously defending the Almighty who supposedly allowed the devastating events to take place. Unfortunately, both smothering of emotions and advocating for the divine have serious consequences. In this snippet of an article, I propose that emotional congestion in the name of God comes at an enormous price—freezing the flow of grief, relational complications, and an unfulfilled sense of self. An opposite course, namely, embracing all facets of emotional labor pains as part of a healing passageway, adds to personal and interpersonal growth. Contrary […]

My Parents’ House

Posted on February 19, 2010 - by Pamela Gabbay

Today, I drove past my parents’ old house. I was in my hometown visiting my best friend from high school and she needed to make a quick stop at her sister’s house. Her sister happens to live right around the corner from my family’s old home. As we drove toward her sister’s, my friend ever so casually mentioned that we would be driving down my parents’ old street. I didn’t have a lot of time to react. It has been quite a few years since I have been by the old place, and I figured that I would be fine […]

Have I Failed?

Posted on February 18, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

My mother and father passed away in 2008. They had Alzheimer’s and they died 36 days apart of each other. At the time of their diagnosis, their neurologist told me that my father had years left in his life and that my mother would only make it another year and a half. My father died first. My father was at Stage 4 of the disease. He had moderate cognitive decline. When he died, a piece of my heart and my soul died with him. Several months prior to my father’s passing, my mother reached Stage 7 of the disease – […]

Child-Loss: When the Heavens Go Dark

Posted on February 18, 2010 - by John French

Out beyond the silence of eternal night, within the void of voiceless echoes, between the folds of dark and light. In somber streams of starlight. In the waves of ebb and flow. Heaven exceeds eternal planes. Though, it remains closer then we know. There was a time when the stars were a great source of inspiration and contentment for me. Their slow, predictable progression seemed to calm some of the anxiety brought on by a chaotic world. The incomprehensible distances and incalculable numbers were a humbling reminder of my insignificance. While at the same time, the vastness and complexity made me […]

The Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy

Posted on February 17, 2010 - by Robbie Miller Kaplan

The words sympathy and empathy are often used interchangeably, and yet they are distinct expressions. In times of death, it’s customary to extend sympathy by sharing our sorrow for what’s happened. Sympathy cards are usually synonymous with condolence messages. When extending sympathy, we’re expressing concern for another’s feelings. Cards, notes, phone calls, e-mails, meals, and offers of assistance are all expressions of sympathy. But you don’t offer empathy, you feel it. Empathy is the act of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s trying to imagine, “How would I feel if this happened to me?” And it’s the ability to […]

Remembering Super Bowl Sundays With Dad

Posted on February 16, 2010 - by Eric Tomei

I am a huge sports nut. I love just about every sport, and growing up I tried everything except hockey. So I was ready to watch the recent Super Bowl between the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints. I remember that the Super Bowl was one game that my dad would sit and watch. He wouldn’t say much, but almost always watchedtogether. I don’t really think that he cared who won. But watching a game together still ranks as one of the fond memories of him. For that one day, I felt like my dad was my buddy, a friend. I hated […]

Writing Affirmations Can Help With Grief

Posted on February 15, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

In 2007, when I was devastated by the deaths of four loved ones, I looked for new ways to cope with grief. Though I had good coping skills, nothing had prepared me for multiple losses. Since I am a writer, I followed my instincts, and started writing about grief. I did something else, too. Each morning, when I awoke, I thought of an affirmation that would get me through the day. The list started out small and became so long that I kept a computer list of affirmations. Writing one-sentence affirmations was a lot like writing poetry. Eventually, my grief […]