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After a Loss, Answering the Question: Who Am I Now?

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Alex James

Death affects and changes everything. The circumstances and impact affect not only the obvious areas of life but every area and simple tasks that used to be easily undertaken can seem enormous and just too difficult. Everyday activities can be exhausting and any activity can create deep anxiety. Many of my clients tell me that not only are they grieving the loss of their loved one but alongside that there is the loss of themselves. The loss of everything they thought they knew, the planned life the sense of security. Nothing in their lives will be the same again. These […]

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Memories, Time, Grief and Healing

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Bob Baugher

“How long has it been?” Bereaved parents are often asked this question. I ask it of you, “How long has it been?” Now answer this question: “How long does it feel like it’s been?” A common answer is, “On one hand it feels like yesterday. On the other, it feels like a long time ago.” Why do we experience our lives like this? How can something five or ten years ago feel recent and something that occurred last week feel forever ago? Let’s look at the concept of time and try to make some sense of it, with the added […]

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Thanksgiving – Why I’m Thankful

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

As far back as I can remember my mother and father loved celebrating Thanksgiving. My father would tell us that this was his favorite holiday, simply because we were blessed as a family with good health and fortune. He was proud that we were able to still come together throughout the years and gather around the dinner table to give thanks to our Lord for the gift of each other, and the wonderful meal my mother had prepared. She spent days in the kitchen baking homemade pumpkin pies, preparing all the side dishes and then her famous homemade stuffing for […]

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Poem: Shine, Forever Soar

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

God bless me with strength And the courage I need To move forward in life Embrace all that I’ve seen. Bless me with your love Through my turbulent times And, help me understand This journey of mine. Shower me with the radiance Of your brilliance, Lord Bless my heart, my soul Let me shine, forever soar. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.deborahtornillo.com

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Helping Bereaved Parents Cope

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox There are many things that can be done to help bereaved parents cope. You may have a friend who is just starting out on his or her grief journey, and it is hard enough for them to just get out of bed in the morning. They don’t need any platitudes from you (see last blog). They need comfort; they need you to see that they make it through the day. With your help, they will. Here are some of the things you can do for them. **Send a sympathy card or note to the parents, saying how […]

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How to Ask For More Help – or Less

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

It can be difficult for anyone who is grieving to guage their need for support from others. Maybe you’ve begun to realize that you’d like more support. As one person told us, “After my loss, I got a lot of support and help from family and friends. But it’s been awhile now and I seem to be forgotten. I think they see me as ‘strong’ but I still need to know that they are there for me.” As you struggle with the many stresses that come with losing a loved one, you may feel vulnerable, lost, or “alone in the world.”  […]

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Grief and Loss During the Holidays

Posted on November 17, 2009 - by Art & Allison Daily

When I lost my brother it was early summer time. The flowers were out, the heat hadn’t magnetized and yet I could find beauty in nothing. I felt like I was never going to get over the pain from his death. In some ways I felt paralyzed, almost not feeling at all, from fear that if I did feel I would never come back. The pain ebbed and flowed but the pain was most intense during the holidays. I dreaded them the first year, knowing one chair was missing. His. I had a hard time eating or enjoying the taste […]

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Thanksgiving

Posted on November 17, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Dad passed away October 9, 2007 and Mom passed 36 days later on November 14, 2007. Today, I can now reflect back and remember how everything in my life had come to a standstill. For a year and half prior to their passing I spent every waking second of my day attending to them. They both had Alzheimer’s and, not only did it strip them of their memory and their life, it stripped me of who I am. I can now look back and realize that since February of 2006 my life has been on hold. The world and everyone […]

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Symbol of Hope Among the Ruins: The Painted Heart

Posted on November 17, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Clearing out our deceased daughter’s house took more than a year.  My husband and I could only work for a half-hour before we were overcome with grief.  Our daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash.  Nine months later, her former husband was killed in another car crash, and we were raising her twins. Packing up an entire house is a monumental task.  After talking with our grandchildren, the family decided to give the contents of the house to Rushford, Minn., flood relief.  We packed the kitchen first, then moved on to the family room, living room, […]

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Poem: I Wonder

Posted on November 16, 2009 - by Genesse Gentry

When did sadness stop covering everything? I don’t know. It must have first been for moments, then maybe hours, days eventually. Then for a long time no longer ever-present, but just below the surface waiting for a thought to trigger it. Now, the ingredients of my life are suffused with contentment and joy, but even so, sadness can surface unexpectedly as the dark shape of loss stirs the cauldron and tears are added to the soup of life, salty still, but not as bitter or overpowering, adding an important flavor to the whole of me. From Catching the Light – […]

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