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Anger a Natural Part of Grieving

Posted on November 4, 2009 - by Connie Vasquez

Anger could never be the first stage of grief. First, you’re busy making arrangements, then you’re just numb.  I figure it takes a good couple of weeks before you get good and pissed off. If you’ve never juggled before, but always wanted to, you will now have an opportunity to experience the “thrill” of trying to navigate your own grief, while donning the socially-expected stiff upper lip, while simultaneously restraining yourself from slugging someone.  It’s quite a feat.  Nowhere will you get more practice than when you return to work (more about that in another post). Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book On Grief and Grieving, found that “anger […]

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Poem: I Want To Go Home

Posted on November 3, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

I want to go home And, have my parents Shower me with kisses Tender, but strong hugs And, look into their eyes Feeling safe, as their child. I want to go home And, sit with them At their dinner table And, enjoy my mother’s Home cooked meals And, Dad’s story telling. I want to go home And, hold their hands Sit together with them In a peaceful silence As they watch their Favorite television program. I want to go home And, take care of them again Holding them in my arms Kissing their faces And, never letting go. I miss […]

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Grief – An Ongoing Journey for Me

Posted on November 3, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

“There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.” Arnold Bennett (1867-1931) I turned to Hospice when I knew my parents were going to die. They were very compassionate and helped me better understand the process of dying, as well as the emotions that I would experience after their death. I read everything that I could possibly read to learn what I was about to witness with the dying process […]

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Guilt During Grief is Normal but Unproductive

Posted on November 3, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

I had guilt feelings after four loved ones died within nine months. My elder daughter was the first family member to die and, though she and her twins came for dinner every Sunday, I wished I had spent more time with her. Two days after she died, my father-in-law died. He had dementia, and caring for him became increasingly difficult. I had conflicting feelings. While I wished I had done more for him, I was pleased with the things I had done. Four months after his passing, my brother died. His death was a double blow because we had been […]

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Seven Ways to Make Holidays Meaningful for Children After a Loss

Posted on November 2, 2009 - by Suzy Yehl Marta

The holiday season after my divorce found me overwhelmed and almost totally unprepared.  It was a traumatic time, especially for my three young sons. Their father was gone. I went from being a full-time, at-home mom to a single parent working three jobs just to make ends meet. Though I knew the divorce was the right thing to do, I was joyless and angry. Then came Christmas. More than anything, I wanted this to be a special holiday for my sons. I wanted them to feel love.  Holidays  heighten children’s sense of loss. Even if it’s been years since the […]

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“New Song” Organization Helps the Bereaved

Posted on November 1, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox If your family has suffered the death of a loved one and needs support dealing with the pain and the grief journey, an organization called NEW SONG, started in the Phoenix, Arizona, area provides nurturing support for grieving children and their families. It also offers comprehensive grief education for volunteers and professionals and is hoping to be nationally recognized as a model grief support and training program whose purpose is to restore hope to children and those who love them. Volunteers have had over 25 hours of classroom and 20 hours of mentor-led training to facilitate, under […]

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Grief is Stress Without Relief

Posted on October 30, 2009 - by Janice Ervin

“Whorl! Whorl! Whorl!” shrieked the house alarm, startling Laura from an already restless slumber. She sat straight up with her eyes wide, and looked around the dark room anxiously. Wishing for the umpteenth time that her husband was home from travel, she bolted from bed and stood motionless in the dark. “Now would be a great time to have a big, BIG, dog,” she mused as she listened intently. Primed for flight, she tiptoed to the bedroom door and silently locked it. A second later, she jumped as the phone on the nightstand began to ring. With one hand on […]

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Six Things to Do for An Easier Death

Posted on October 30, 2009 - by Stan Goldberg

People who were dying in the Middle Ages said their goodbyes, gave away the furniture, and just stopped breathing. The non-event was witnessed by friends and family, who, at the moment of death, absconded with anything of value. Later, they might gather to either celebrate or deride the person’s life. Today, although we rarely fight over furniture, we do something worse. We layer death with a multitude of screens, hoping to hide the elephant in the room. Unfortunately, the delusion is easily shattered by words, events, and thoughts that despite our best efforts to the contrary, reassert the role of […]

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Remembering Your Baby on All Souls Day

Posted on October 29, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Monica Novak – In the Christian traditions, churches all over the world set aside a day of celebrating and remembering our loved ones who have died.  Depending on the particular denomination, this day is often referred to as All Souls Day or All Saints Day and is usually held on November 1st or 2nd, or on the 1st Sunday of November.  It’s a quiet holiday in comparison to the more prominent events of Christmas and Easter.  In some countries, families decorate gravesites with candles and flowers, some even leave food.  Here in the United States, many people might not […]

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Journaling Your Way Through Grief

Posted on October 29, 2009 - by Tony Falzano

Journaling when we are dealing with loss can release bottled up emotions. It can be a time for self discovery and self inquiry. It has many benefits and from my own experiences and others, writing what we are experiencing can temporarily make us feel better. Since journaling may be new to some, I have anticipated a few questions you may have and provided pointers to help you see if this activity is of interest to you. What do I need to start journaling? All you need is a pen, a notebook and the openness to write your feelings in an […]

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