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Guilt During Grief is Normal but Unproductive

Posted on November 3, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

I had guilt feelings after four loved ones died within nine months. My elder daughter was the first family member to die and, though she and her twins came for dinner every Sunday, I wished I had spent more time with her. Two days after she died, my father-in-law died. He had dementia, and caring for him became increasingly difficult. I had conflicting feelings. While I wished I had done more for him, I was pleased with the things I had done. Four months after his passing, my brother died. His death was a double blow because we had been […]

Seven Ways to Make Holidays Meaningful for Children After a Loss

Posted on November 2, 2009 - by Suzy Yehl Marta

The holiday season after my divorce found me overwhelmed and almost totally unprepared. It was a traumatic time, especially for my three young sons. Their father was gone. I went from being a full-time, at-home mom to a single parent working three jobs just to make ends meet. Though I knew the divorce was the right thing to do, I was joyless and angry. Then came Christmas. More than anything, I wanted this to be a special holiday for my sons. I wanted them to feel love. Holidays heighten children’s sense of loss. Even if it’s been years since the […]

“New Song” Organization Helps the Bereaved

Posted on November 1, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox If your family has suffered the death of a loved one and needs support dealing with the pain and the grief journey, an organization called NEW SONG, started in the Phoenix, Arizona, area provides nurturing support for grieving children and their families. It also offers comprehensive grief education for volunteers and professionals and is hoping to be nationally recognized as a model grief support and training program whose purpose is to restore hope to children and those who love them. Volunteers have had over 25 hours of classroom and 20 hours of mentor-led training to facilitate, under […]

Grief is Stress Without Relief

Posted on October 30, 2009 - by Janice Ervin

“Whorl! Whorl! Whorl!” shrieked the house alarm, startling Laura from an already restless slumber. She sat straight up with her eyes wide, and looked around the dark room anxiously. Wishing for the umpteenth time that her husband was home from travel, she bolted from bed and stood motionless in the dark. “Now would be a great time to have a big, BIG, dog,” she mused as she listened intently. Primed for flight, she tiptoed to the bedroom door and silently locked it. A second later, she jumped as the phone on the nightstand began to ring. With one hand on […]

Six Things to Do for An Easier Death

Posted on October 30, 2009 - by Stan Goldberg

People who were dying in the Middle Ages said their goodbyes, gave away the furniture, and just stopped breathing. The non-event was witnessed by friends and family, who, at the moment of death, absconded with anything of value. Later, they might gather to either celebrate or deride the person’s life. Today, although we rarely fight over furniture, we do something worse. We layer death with a multitude of screens, hoping to hide the elephant in the room. Unfortunately, the delusion is easily shattered by words, events, and thoughts that despite our best efforts to the contrary, reassert the role of […]

Remembering Your Baby on All Souls Day

Posted on October 29, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Monica Novak – In the Christian traditions, churches all over the world set aside a day of celebrating and remembering our loved ones who have died. Depending on the particular denomination, this day is often referred to as All Souls Day or All Saints Day and is usually held on November 1st or 2nd, or on the 1st Sunday of November. It’s a quiet holiday in comparison to the more prominent events of Christmas and Easter. In some countries, families decorate gravesites with candles and flowers, some even leave food. Here in the United States, many people might not […]

Journaling Your Way Through Grief

Posted on October 29, 2009 - by Tony Falzano

Journaling when we are dealing with loss can release bottled up emotions. It can be a time for self discovery and self inquiry. It has many benefits and from my own experiences and others, writing what we are experiencing can temporarily make us feel better. Since journaling may be new to some, I have anticipated a few questions you may have and provided pointers to help you see if this activity is of interest to you. What do I need to start journaling? All you need is a pen, a notebook and the openness to write your feelings in an […]

Powerlessness of Death

Posted on October 28, 2009 - by admin

By Mary Zemites One of the most distressing aspects surrounding the death of someone we love is the overwhelming sense of powerlessness. The realization that we could not prevent this death and will not be able to prevent the future deaths of other people we love is profound. Independence, productivity and being in control are very highly regarded in our society. In reality, we are all powerless against the inevitably of death. But somehow we often don’t fully come to terms with this until we experience the loss of someone dear to us. The word “powerless” has many synonyms – […]

Checking Your Support System

Posted on October 28, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Grief creates an immediate need for support. My husband and I relied on a family support system – our elder daughter, brother and sister-in-law, and father-in-law – for many years. All of these family members lived in town and were only minutes away. Then our lives changed. In February of 2007, our daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Two days later, my father-in-law died. Last summer, the remaining relatives moved to Wisconsin. Others are going to move there as well. Support was disappearing right before our eyes, and we felt very alone. Apparently other people […]

Suicide Survivorship: How To Resolve Your Guilt

Posted on October 27, 2009 - by Ellen Gerst

No one can know the depth of despair to which a person may sink upon contemplation of suicide. Possibly, the black hole in which one finds him/herself gets deeper and darker as the days go by. Soon, even the smallest sliver of light is blocked from view. And then — instead of being frightening — the darkness becomes comforting and safe. It cradles and protects the person from all outside forces – from life and all the decisions to be made, both large and small. Eternal sleep and “supposed” freedom from worry beckon the suicide until he/she can no longer […]