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Poem: For George

Posted on October 27, 2009 - by Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn

I received this astonishing poem in the mail, along with a letter from the author, Robin Standish, in 2005. Unfortunately, it got lost in the pile of papers on my desk. A couple of weeks ago, I was cleaning up (finally), and came across it. I can’t tell you how moved I was, how blown away by what Standish captured, about early sibling loss. Standish was 7 when her 2-year-old brother, George, died of leukemia. She didn’t even know he was sick. Or rather, her parents had neglected to define what was wrong with him. She assumed, as she writes […]

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Poem: I Salute You

Posted on October 26, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

I Salute You A little boy Taken by the hand, His father said You will be a soldier, A man. Sent away To a distant land, He fought with courage To prove to his father He can. He flew with the best, Killed with Tears in his eyes, Until the day He too would die. Far away, Killed in action, Body never recovered His father’s words Never delivered. Son, I’m proud of you, For the sacrifices you made, As a soldier, A man, I salute you. Deborah Tornillo Author, 36 Days Apart http://www.authorsden.com/dtornillo

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Siblings of Military Casualties Offered Help

Posted on October 26, 2009 - by Ami Neiberger-Miller

A sibling relationship should be a lifelong friendship, but for those losing a brother or sister who served in the military, the pain and sorrow can be overwhelming. Adult siblings left behind must contend with their own grief and shock, adjust to an altered family structure and assume new responsibilities. To help brothers and sisters cope, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, TAPS held its first weekend retreat for siblings in 2008. The retreat was modeled after the organization’s regional seminars, which help surviving family members process their grief reactions, develop coping skills, and establish support networks. “Siblings often experience […]

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Accepting Loss as a Fact of Life

Posted on October 25, 2009 - by Anne Hamilton

When I was sixteen, my best friend was killed in a car accident. My boyfriend was driving the car. They were going to the movies on a summer afternoon two weeks after their high school graduation. I felt that my life was smashed head on in that one moment, just like their car had been smashed by a tractor trailer when a slippery road in a summer rain threw them into the oncoming lane of a highway. My friend Curtis was thrown from the car and died immediately. My boyfriend had a hip injury and recovered fully. I think of […]

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The Mathematics of Hope – When Two Plus Two Has to Equal Five

Posted on October 25, 2009 - by Anne Hamilton

I’ve made a lot of condolence calls this week. A friend lost her father. Another’s cousin has lost her battle with breast cancer. A playwright’s mother has moved in and my friend is her primary caregiver. She had to quit her job. A friend who’s a writer is finding trouble finding hope.

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Emotional pain

Posted on October 25, 2009 - by admin

by Stuart A. Kaplowitz, MFT In suffering any type of physical injury, there is a certain amount of pain that will be endured as the body attempts to heal itself. Stubbing a toe might lead to a few minutes of pain, while breaking an ankle might take the body many weeks or even months to recover. The word pain is typically used in association with a physical injury. But what about the pain we experience in losing someone close to us — emotional pain?? When we lose someone or something (a relationship, item, etc.) from our lives, our bodies attempt […]

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The Unlikely Caregiver: Black Sheep of the Family

Posted on October 25, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

Life is funny. Sometimes the most rebellious of us, the teen gone bad, the unwed mother of three, the Harley brother in leather and bandanas and lots of tattoos becomes the best caregiver, the most thoughtful son–or daughter. Why? Sometimes those who travel counter to society have the most tender souls. Sometimes the battle with their personal demons have made them even more thoughtful, more real and more alive. They may wrap the package in a prickly covering, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a teddy bear underneath. Our lives are like boomerangs. For some of us, we fling ourselves as […]

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How the Phases of Grief Worked for Bereaved Mom

Posted on October 24, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

In the first few years of your grief journey after the loss of a child, you will experience so many different emotions, all of which are normal and not “weird” as some people may say to you. There are five phases of grief (some experts use different names for each phase, but in the end they are all the same). As I write about each, I’ll tell you how I personally fit into each one. Keep in mind that once you leave one phase and move on to another, it does not mean you will not return to that phase […]

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An Ongoing Journey

Posted on October 23, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

My mother and father’s pictures are everywhere in my home. Every morning when I awake – I see them and say “Good morning.” Throughout the day I talk with my mother and father. I share with them my tears that I still have for them, because I miss them so very much. I share with them the joyful moments of my day and yes, the angry ones. I know, with all my heart my parents would not want me to grieve for them. I can hear my father this very moment saying to me “quit making a big deal of […]

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Moving to the Middle of the Bed

Posted on October 23, 2009 - by Sandra Pesmen

Last night, I slept in the middle of our king-size bed. It took me two years to do that. For 55 years, I shared that bed with my husband. He never walked on water. Sometimes we broke that cardinal rule and went to sleep angry. But far more often, we embraced that bed, and each other, with tremendous joy, grateful we found mates that showed love, kindness, consideration, and selflessness on an almost daily basis. How unusual is that? So often people reach out their hand when they hear I’m a widow and say, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” […]

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