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How the Phases of Grief Worked for Bereaved Mom

Posted on October 24, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

In the first few years of your grief journey after the loss of a child, you will experience so many different emotions, all of which are normal and not “weird” as some people may say to you. There are five phases of grief (some experts use different names for each phase, but in the end they are all the same). As I write about each, I’ll tell you how I personally fit into each one. Keep in mind that once you leave one phase and move on to another, it does not mean you will not return to that phase […]

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An Ongoing Journey

Posted on October 23, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

My mother and father’s pictures are everywhere in my home. Every morning when I awake – I see them and say “Good morning.” Throughout the day I talk with my mother and father. I share with them my tears that I still have for them, because I miss them so very much. I share with them the joyful moments of my day and yes, the angry ones. I know, with all my heart my parents would not want me to grieve for them. I can hear my father this very moment saying to me “quit making a big deal of […]

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Moving to the Middle of the Bed

Posted on October 23, 2009 - by Sandra Pesmen

Last night, I slept in the middle of our king-size bed. It took me two years to do that. For 55 years, I shared that bed with my husband. He never walked on water. Sometimes we broke that cardinal rule and went to sleep angry. But far more often, we embraced that bed, and each other, with tremendous joy, grateful we found mates that showed love, kindness, consideration, and selflessness on an almost daily basis. How unusual is that? So often people reach out their hand when they hear I’m a widow and say, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” […]

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God Will Answer My Prayers

Posted on October 21, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

In 1968 my brother, Danny who was 19 years old was killed in Vietnam. At the time, I was 15 years old. His helicopter was shot down and according to eye witnesses exploded in mid-air and then landed on the banks of a river. Because of heavy, enemy ground fire his body was never recovered. To date, he is listed as MIA (Missing in Action). After the loss of my brother several searches were conducted over the years, but no body was recovered. My mother and father lived the remainder of their years grieving deeply, but never gave up hope […]

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Open to Hope Writer Publishes New Edition of ‘Special Dream’

Posted on October 21, 2009 - by Luellen Hoffman

The passing of a loved one can mark a difficult crossroads. Those of us left behind often feel confused, fearful, sad, and even incomplete. In the midst of this grief, some experience dreams where a loved one appears to us, correctly predicting their own death, urging us to carry a message to a relative or simply offering us healing and the chance to say goodbye. Now comes a new edition of Open to Hope writer Luellen Hoffman’s book, Special Dream: Personal Accounts After the Death of a Loved One (Crossroad, an imprint of The Crossroad Publishing Company, September 2009). It’s […]

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Ghosts of Memory: Integrating Our Loss Through Remembering

Posted on October 21, 2009 - by David Roberts

I recently read a book called: Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road, by Neil Peart. Peart is the lyricist and world renowned drummer for the Canadian rock band, Rush.  His daughter Selena, age 19, died on August 10, 1997, as a result of a car accident and his common-law wife, Jackie died on June 20, 1998, of cancer. Peart became a bereaved parent and a young widower in the space of ten months. One year after the death of his daughter, he embarked on a 55,000-mile, fourteen-month journey on his motorcycle across Canada, the United States and Mexico. He […]

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What Does it Mean to ‘Get on with Life’

Posted on October 20, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

Of all the statements and spiritual platitudes quoted to me since my son, Daniel, died, the phrase that I hear most frequently makes me squirm the most. “You have got to get on with your life.” Recently, I quit squirming long enough to ponder the meaning behind this phrase that is usually said to the bereaved in the form of a command. Exactly what does this phrase mean? What are people implying when they say it? I was pregnant when Daniel died and three months later, I gave birth to a baby girl. Wasn’t that getting on with my life? […]

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The Birth of Purpose: Foundation Emerges from Stillbirth

Posted on October 20, 2009 - by Nicole Alston

A mother’s viewpoint of grief: deep and profound Nicole Alston recalls: April 29, 2005, was our due date, and like any typical first-time parents responding to the initial signs of labor, my husband Paul and I dashed to the hospital full of hope and promise. After years of unexplained infertility and a miscarriage in 2003, we had rehearsed this long-awaited occasion countless times. However, there was no dress rehearsal for what happened next. Only minutes after being admitted and taken to a labor and delivery room, our lives took an unex­pected and painful turn. With a quick glance at the monitor, […]

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Thanksgiving

Posted on October 19, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Dad passed away October 9, 2007 and Mom passed 36 days later on November 14, 2007. Today, I can now reflect back and remember how everything in my life had come to a standstill. For a year and half prior to their passing I spent every waking second of my day attending to them. They both had Alzheimer’s and, not only did it strip them of their memory and their life, more importantly it stripped me of who I am. I can now look back and realize that since February of 2006 my life has been on hold. The world […]

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Poem: Shine

Posted on October 19, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Shine There is a light that shines inside all Some days it is so warm and so bright Other days it is cold and just a flicker Leaving us afraid and bitter. When troubles have come our way And we lose our hope and faith Turn to our Lord, Almighty And ask for a little bit of his rays. He’ll give you back your light And, no more will it be just a flicker Instead, you’ll shine so bright Within his warmth and glowing light. Deborah Ann Tornillo Copyright© 2009 http://www.authorsden.com

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