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Compassionate Self-Forgiveness (Part 2)

Posted on October 19, 2009 - by Irene Kendig

In this post, I’ll use my experience with Ringo (see Part I) to demonstrate compassionate self-forgiveness, a powerful tool in service to inner healing. There are four steps to this process. Step 1. I give voice to my feelings of sadness, frustration, anger and fear. I honor my process by creating a safe space in which I can allow whatever I’m feeling to come forward. I may cry, scream, yell or laugh; I just let it come out without judging it. I do this for myself and with myself in the privacy of a safe space. As I begin to […]

Compassionate Self-Forgiveness (Part 1)

Posted on October 18, 2009 - by Irene Kendig

I was reflecting today on my dog Ringo, who died after being hit by a car when I was fifteen. As I ran to his side, he acknowledged my presence with one last wag of his tail. I was devastated. I blamed myself for his death. I also blamed my mom, who was at work. I believed that, if she’d been home, this never would have happened. I thought Ringo shouldn’t have died when he did. We are spiritual beings having a human experience rather than humans with spirits. That’s a huge difference, so take a moment to let that […]

The Story of My Father’s Suicide

Posted on October 17, 2009 - by Kelli Karlton

Late one January morning in 2008, I fell asleep on the sofa, something I rarely did and haven’t done since. I was awakened to my house phone ringing, then my cell phone ringing, again the house, again the cell. I wasn’t ready to wake up completely so I didn’t answer the phone, hoping they would just leave a message. The phones kept ringing and eventually my husband’s cell phone started to ring too. My husband came over to me on the sofa and said, “It’s your Dad calling my cell.…” I knew something was wrong at that point. I got […]

Floating Downstream: What Loss Has Taught Me

Posted on October 16, 2009 - by Monica Novak

During summer breaks, my 12-week reprieve from the regimented early-morning school schedule, my three girls and I love to sleep in and lounge around in our pajamas all morning (okay, they lounge while I do dishes and laundry and try to get them to pick up their stuff that’s strewn all over the house!). We spend our afternoons at the pool enjoying the sun with friends or visiting family in Indiana. Our evenings are spent listening to free outdoor concerts or curling up on the couch for movie night – which in the summer can be any night we want! […]

First Halloween

Posted on October 15, 2009 - by Beth Seyda

I usually love Halloween, seeing all the little kids in their cute costumes struggling to hold up their trick or treat bags and trying to say “trick or treat”. But that first Halloween was only a couple of weeks after our infant son, Dylan, had died, and I knew I could not be at home to give out treats this year. I felt bad about it, but I knew that I would be in no shape to see so many kids. So my husband, Mark, and I decided to see an early movie and have dinner. This would keep us […]

Poem: I Hear You

Posted on October 14, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Before I cross uncertain land I hear Daddy say to me. Little girl hold on to my hand And, remember to look both ways. If you should have any doubt Always call out my name. And, I will always guide you Through the unknown and the same. Keep laughing long into the night I hear Daddy say to me. Little girl wipe away your tears And, ride through life without fears. If you should have any doubt Always call out my name. And, I will always be by your side Through the joy and the pain. Compassionately go about your […]

When Will I Feel Better?

Posted on October 14, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox Why don’t I feel better? It’s been a year…two years…three years since I lost my child. I hear this a lot. Don’t be impatient. The fact that you want to feel better and move on with your life after the loss of a child is a good sign. What you don’t realize is that it may take a very long time. Each of us reacts differently. Each of us heals differently. There is no set time that you should be well and functioning again. Your mind will do a lot of the work for you. And your […]

Spirals of Hope: We Can Help Each Other

Posted on October 13, 2009 - by Megan Prescott

I just finished my weekly phone chat with my friend Nancy. Last year, Nancy’s mother, father, and brother all passed away within 6 weeks of one other, each from different illnesses. Her brother Brian was my dear friend and, after his passing, I kept in close contact with her. Since then, we have become very connected, like sisters. Our biggest and most intense bond is that in the twenty years before Nancy lost her family, I had already lost mine. Nancy and I are similar in several ways no one wants to be: both our parents have died, we endured losing […]

Talking About Grief

Posted on October 11, 2009 - by admin

by Harriet Hodgson Talking about grief is necessary for grief reconciliation. If we don’t talk about our grief we bottle it up inside and that is not good. Grief experts tell their clients to write and talk about grief. Indeed, letting grief out and speaking about it can be a goal. Bob Deits, author of “Life After Loss,” thinks we should tell one or two people about our grief each day. “Tell anyone who will listen to you about your loss,” he advises. He thinks we should tell as many people as we can and not be hesitant about giving […]

Anger a Normal Step in the Grief Process

Posted on October 9, 2009 - by Sandra Pesmen

At a recent dinner party, one of my newly-widowed friends complained that another guest wasn’t being nice to her. “He isn’t talking to me. He isn’t asking how I feel now that I lost my husband,” she said. “It makes me mad that he acts as though nothing happened.” Similarly, another newly-widowed friend complained that one group of women she had been close to stopped calling after her husband’s funeral. “It’s been six months and not one of them picked up the phone to call me lately. I’m so angry at them,” she said. “Obviously they don’t even care about how I feel now.” I told both women not […]