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News of Fathering Dead Infant Stirs Up Grief Thirty Years Later

Posted on October 5, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Monica Novak – A reader (I’ll call her Lori) wrote in one day to say that her husband had been contacted by a woman he had dated nearly 30 years earlier. She told him she had broken up with him because she had been pregnant. She went on to deliver a premature baby who died after only an hour. Lori wanted to understand why, after all this time, the woman was contacting her husband. He had known nothing of the pregnancy all these years and now felt a great loss. Here is my response to Lori: Dear Lori, I […]

Using Laughter and Playfulness as an Antidote to Grief

Posted on October 5, 2009 - by Christa Scalies

I lost my close friend, Jim, to suicide in 2005. Instead of succumbing to the devastating pain, grief and guilt surrounding his death, I embarked on a journey of introspection, self-healing and giving to the community. As a self-proclaimed Giggle Coach, I am on a crusade to help people reclaim joy in their lives, or, as I say, get their Giggle On! In 2008, I created the web site GiggleOn.com as a tribute to my departed friend, Jim. I was looking for a positive outlet to honor him and our friendship, to cope with my pain, tell my story and deliver […]

Surviving the Holidays After a Loved One’s Death

Posted on October 5, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

That holiday-pang hit my stomach the first October after Daniel died. Greeting me at an arts and craft shop were gold and silver stockings, a Christmas tree draped with turquoise balls and a wreath of pinecones and red berries. What was this? And was “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” playing as well? It was only October. I had anticipated that Christmas and the holidays would be tough. In fact, I’d wake on those cold mornings after Daniel died in February and be grateful that it was still months until his August birthday and even more months until Christmas. I […]

Living in the NOW: Retaking Your Life After a Loved One’s Suicide

Posted on October 5, 2009 - by Jack Cain

That Sunday morning that I found Adam’s body in the car in the garage was the worst day of my life. The horror that is suicide produces a grief that is like no other. It is not like the lingering death from cancer. In spite of the fact that death from a heart attack is sudden and life-wrenching, it is not like suicide. Suicide is like an insult. It is sudden, yes, but it is an optional act. In the minds of the survivors, it didn’t need to happen. It was a choice and for that matter, an irrational choice. But […]

Strength Survives Losing a Child

Posted on October 4, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox Is there anything good that comes from losing a child? At first all you feel is excruciating heartache, ever present loneliness, deep emptiness, the old life gone forever, the future a blur, the person you loved most in the world gone forever, and you…changed forever. Nothing is ever the same again. You are a different person. Days, months, years may pass and you cope as best you can. And then…out of the depth of grief and despair, grows something remarkable. You begin to see others in the same situation; some of them just moving on one day […]

October: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Posted on October 4, 2009 - by Monica Novak

In 1988, when President Ronald Reagan declared October to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I was still in college, not yet married, and motherhood was a distant point in my future. The proclamation, even if I had heard about it, would have sailed right past my consciousness. Five years later, when I became a mother, if I had heard about the proclamation then, it might have caught my attention, but I wouldn’t have given it much thought. I hadn’t yet lost a baby during or after pregnancy, nor was I aware of anyone who had. Everything changed in […]

‘Grief Buddies’ Can Help You Cope

Posted on October 4, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Whether it was anticipated or sudden, the death of a loved one is a traumatic experience. Two and a half years ago, my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Death was even more shocking when my father-in-law died two days later. In fact, we were so overcome with shock we started a buddy system. We were driving buddies. Driving can be dangerous when you’re grieving. When we needed to go to the store, church, or social event, my husband and I always drove together. One of us was the driver and the other was the […]

Moving Through Grief on Foot

Posted on October 3, 2009 - by Julie Lange

Grieving is a step-by-step journey. Some stretches of the road are rougher than others. But every step is important. Every step has its gifts.

A Survivor’s Story: Aftermath of a Brother’s Death

Posted on October 2, 2009 - by Leigh Cunningham

Two a.m., Wednesday, March 17, 1979: a deathly knock on our front door disturbed the sleeping, and divided lives into two parts. Before Paul and after Paul. I was sixteen. Paul was two months past his seventeenth birthday. His driver’s license was two months old, as was his motorbike. My mother had bought it for him for his birthday, with justified reluctance. But he was persistent, and who could resist his charms. Two policemen delivered the news. My mother responded by rocking back and forth frenetically like an autistic child. My younger brother and I watched on, in horror and disbelief, feeling heavy […]

Poem: Grief in Slow Motion

Posted on October 2, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Grief in Slow Motion The heart is a fragile vessel Navigating the sea of emotions Every day and every night Grief in slow motion. Drowning in our tears Surrendering to the pain And, our loss of hope We all feel the same. One day we feel happy The next day mad There are many days we don’t feel And days we’re sad. Praying for our shining light A sense of normal Grief in slow motion A journey for life. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author “36 Days Apart” Copyright© 2009 http://www.authorsden.com/dtornillo