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Helping Bereaved Parents Cope

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox There are many things that can be done to help bereaved parents cope. You may have a friend who is just starting out on his or her grief journey, and it is hard enough for them to just get out of bed in the morning. They don’t need any platitudes from you (see last blog). They need comfort; they need you to see that they make it through the day. With your help, they will. Here are some of the things you can do for them. **Send a sympathy card or note to the parents, saying how […]

How to Ask For More Help – or Less

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

It can be difficult for anyone who is grieving to guage their need for support from others. Maybe you’ve begun to realize that you’d like more support. As one person told us, “After my loss, I got a lot of support and help from family and friends. But it’s been awhile now and I seem to be forgotten. I think they see me as ‘strong’ but I still need to know that they are there for me.” As you struggle with the many stresses that come with losing a loved one, you may feel vulnerable, lost, or “alone in the world.” […]

Grief and Loss During the Holidays

Posted on November 17, 2009 - by Art & Allison Daily

When I lost my brother it was early summer time. The flowers were out, the heat hadn’t magnetized and yet I could find beauty in nothing. I felt like I was never going to get over the pain from his death. In some ways I felt paralyzed, almost not feeling at all, from fear that if I did feel I would never come back. The pain ebbed and flowed but the pain was most intense during the holidays. I dreaded them the first year, knowing one chair was missing. His. I had a hard time eating or enjoying the taste […]

Symbol of Hope Among the Ruins: The Painted Heart

Posted on November 17, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Clearing out our deceased daughter’s house took more than a year. My husband and I could only work for a half-hour before we were overcome with grief. Our daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Nine months later, her former husband was killed in another car crash, and we were raising her twins. Packing up an entire house is a monumental task. After talking with our grandchildren, the family decided to give the contents of the house to Rushford, Minn., flood relief. We packed the kitchen first, then moved on to the family room, living room, […]

Poem: I Wonder

Posted on November 16, 2009 - by Genesse Gentry

When did sadness stop covering everything? I don’t know. It must have first been for moments, then maybe hours, days eventually. Then for a long time no longer ever-present, but just below the surface waiting for a thought to trigger it. Now, the ingredients of my life are suffused with contentment and joy, but even so, sadness can surface unexpectedly as the dark shape of loss stirs the cauldron and tears are added to the soup of life, salty still, but not as bitter or overpowering, adding an important flavor to the whole of me. From Catching the Light – […]

Marked by Death, for the Rest of Our Lives

Posted on November 16, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

After my four-year-old died, I was certain my family would never be the same again. It is true and has been proven over and over that we will no longer be the typical family living at the end of the cul-de-sac. We may look the same (only because I have not been daring enough to don all black as our Victorian ancestors) but our hearts have been mangled and our future dimmed. Through death we have been marked—for life. In the course of any given week, I can clearly note how the changes have come and stayed with us. Events […]

Poem: Together

Posted on November 16, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Walk alone and you will find Memories of yesterday Can destroy your mind. Visions of death and despair Continue to surface Leaving you with fear. Walk alone and you will find Friends along the way Offering words of kind. Fears of yesterday begin to fade Along side, it’s a new day Walk together, it will be okay. Deborah Ann Tornillo Author, “36 Days Apart” http://www.deborahtornillo.com

Easing Your Grief and Loss

Posted on November 15, 2009 - by admin

by O’Della Wilson Grief and loss are never easy to overcome and most people just don’t know what to do to assist others in their grief. Often times, we simply state “I know this is a difficult time for you right now, but you will get over it” or we say, “Time heals all wounds.” We have all suffered some type of grief and loss, yet trying to help someone during these same trials can leave our good sense behind, and our words feeling empty to the very person we are trying to help. When that grief and loss is […]

Holiday Treats Stir Up Memories of Loved Ones

Posted on November 14, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Nana made candied orange peel every year. Dishes of this sweet treat appeared at the Thanksgiving table and Christmas dinner. In fact, the holidays would not be the same without this candy. After Nana died, my elder daughter continued the tradition, until she died two years ago. She was the mother of our only grandchildren — fraternal twins — and life is different without her. Christmas was my daughter’s favorite time of year. My granddaughter loves it too, and puts up the tree the day after Thanksgiving. “Grandma, can we make candied orange peel?” she asked. “Of course,” I replied. […]

Death of Child Affects Relationships Throughout Family

Posted on November 12, 2009 - by Alex James

When anyone we love dies our lives are changed; things we had planned will no longer be the same. The death of a child is often the least expected death, and the ongoing effect upon the remaining family can seem endless. One of the commonest things I hear said is: “You don’t expect to attend the funeral of your children.” We assume in life that we will grow old, having watched our children become people and take their place in the adult world. We are concerned for their well-being and on occasion may find ourselves thinking about a time when […]