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Does Grief End? Turning the Corner After Mother’s Death

Posted on July 6, 2009 - by Gemini Adams

By Gemini Adams, MNFSH — It took me a very long time to integrate the loss of my mother. Perhaps this was because she died so prematurely, at just 48 years old. She was still a young person in the eyes of many. As for me, at 21, I was even younger. We had only just learned how to become friends, having battled through the high’s and lows of my teenage years. Just as we had come to see each other as allies, as women sharing similar challenges and interests, she was snatched away. It wasn’t unexpected. Mom died from […]

Lifting the Veil: Gloom Ends at a Wedding

Posted on July 5, 2009 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

By Michele Neff Hernandez — The death of someone instrumental in our lives instantly changes our view of the world. Ordinary things are suddenly fraught with meaning, and insignificant moments become unexpectedly precious. After my husband Phil’s death I remember thinking that grief swooped in and stole my rose-colored glasses, leaving me with a pair of dark shades instead. I was quite certain that rose was no longer my color. This darker world view made every life celebration bittersweet…or sometimes just plain bitter. Movies became minefields, attending weddings became tortuous, walking down the street beside hand-holding couples made me feel […]

A Message of Hope

Posted on July 4, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox One mother who I know quite well lost her only child, a daughter, twenty-one years ago. In a recent writing for a bereavement newsletter, she offers hope to those who are just beginning their grief journey. I find that it can be very comforting to those newly bereaved and even those a few years down the road to hear from others on how they have survived and moved forward with their lives. (That is how my book came about.) I am pleased to offer my friend’s honest appraisal of what she felt and did with her life and how we can […]

Grief Book Review: Sea Changes

Posted on July 4, 2009 - by Abel Keogh

By Abel Keogh — Ever since my late wife died, I’ve had a hard time reading fiction where the main character is a widow or widower. Though the authors try hard, most of them don’t do a good job of capturing what it’s like to lose a spouse. Oh sure, most of them do a good job describing the sense of loss and grief that accompanies the death of a spouse, but when it comes to the internal emptiness that comes with it, most of them fall short. So when I learned that Gail Graham’s latest novel, Sea Changes, was […]

Understanding the Griever: How Others Can Help

Posted on July 3, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

When I invited Martha to the gathering at my house, she accepted the invitation cheerfully. Martha was new to the area and so I thought this small potluck I was hosting would be a chance for her to get to know other women in our town. Martha stuck it out till the end, softly responding to each person’s questions about where she had moved from and the details involving her current job. It was not until the last guest left that night that she was able to utter her fears, “Oh, Alice, maybe I shouldn’t have come.” Then she fell […]

I Am Not Cheese

Posted on July 2, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

Recently I heard from one of my high school classmates. He now lives with his family in Nepal. Going to an international school in Japan–where I grew up—-many of my now forty-something-years-old schoolmates lead exotic lives. You can find them scattered over the world doing really interesting things. And then there I am, settled comfortably after a season of traveling, safe now in North Carolina. My friend commented (which was quite nice) on reading in the high school alumni newsletter that my son had died. He was so sorry and went on to say he had just returned from his […]

Being a Successful Single Dad

Posted on July 2, 2009 - by Suzy Yehl Marta

Being a single dad is tough. Even though it is the 21st century and there’s a diversity of family configurations, being a single dad is tough. It can be rewarding and gratifying too. But it’s nonetheless tough. It is tough because one person is on for the all of the responsibilities. There are schedules to organize and adapt to. There are too many days when you are simply too tired to do one more thing. Maybe you don’t feel equipped to handle the challenges, much less calendars. Perhaps you are not convinced your instinct or decision is the correct one. Complicating […]

When Caregiving Takes Its Own Sweet Time, Pace Yourself for the Long Haul

Posted on July 1, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

I have the privilege of meeting many, many caregivers–and some of them have been at this for a long, long time. Some caregivers are caring for both parents, some a spouse with a chronic disease, others, an adult child who is disabled or challenged. These are the silent heroes. These are the quiet ones who have cared for others for years, even decades. How do they do it? I’ve had many people say, “I couldn’t do what you did–care for your mom with Alzheimer’s.” I didn’t know I could do it either. Most f the time, caregiving felt like I […]

Woman Grieves Over Death of a Baby 35 Years Ago

Posted on July 1, 2009 - by Monica Novak

From Open to Hope: Ask The Authors, December 10, 2008 Tammy writes in with a question: My friend who is 52 is grieving over a baby she lost when she was 17. She has 2 other children, both adults now. But she is suddenly feeling this loss, feeling like she was supposed to have 3 children. Is it possible to grieve this far from the death? Doris Jeanette, Psy.D., author of Opening the Heart, an emotional guide into feelings and emotions. responds: It is not only possible, but helpful, to grieve any loss that has not been fully experienced. It does not matter how […]

The Value of Music For Resolving Grief

Posted on July 1, 2009 - by Tony Falzano

By Tony Falzano — This is the 3rd in a series of four articles on music and how it acts as a healing agent for those grieving a loss. In previous articles, we discussed the health benefits of listening to music. We also examined how music can direct our attention from our uneasy surroundings as well as divert us away from pain. This month, we’ll look at another way music accompanies us through the grief process. It’s no secret that many therapists, clergy and medical professionals believe one of the best things we can do while grieving a loss is […]