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Taking Baby Steps on the Grief Journey

Posted on June 10, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

We’re right in the middle of baseball season. One of our family’s favorite pastimes was to attend the Giants games at the old Candlestick Park in San Francisco, where we’d shiver in the bleachers as we cheered on our team. I still picture Steve with his Giants’ cap, Giants’ sweatshirt, and baseball mitt in hand (just in case he was in a position to catch a wild ball that was hit into the stands). Our daughters and I were always more interested in the antics of the other fans, in finding that elusive malt vendor, and in just staying warm […]

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How Should You Help a Grieving Widow?

Posted on June 10, 2009 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

By Michele Neff Hernandez — Grief is a thief; it steals the breath of life and leaves devastation in its wake. What happens when grief robs a woman of not only her husband, but also her ability to cope with the world around her? How do friends and family members know when that widow is in a dangerous place?? The answers to these questions can only be discovered if we are willing to plant our own feet next to a widow, and walk a portion of the journey by her side. A young woman lost her husband in a car […]

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What Happened Between Two Children was Extraordinary

Posted on June 9, 2009 - by Fran Dorf

By Fran Dorf The following is the Prologue for Saving Elijah, Fran Dorf’s novel about child-loss. When the woman phoned, I couldn’t place her name until she said she was Maggie’s mother. Then I knew. They’d made quite a pair at the hospital, my son and her daughter. Eight-year-old Maggie was stricken and hairless and exhausted, her ashen face steroid-bloated beyond all reason. Five-year-old Elijah, with his thick glasses and crossed eyes, looked like a weird little Martian, his red-blond curls pasted to his skull with goop, an electrode and wire bonnet attaching him to a rolling EEG machine. He […]

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For the kids…

Posted on June 8, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Yesterday I attended a charity function for a wonderful charity here in the Metro Detroit area benefitting children who have lost a parent. Yatooma’s Foundation for the kids provides financial assistance, groceries, counseling, coaching to family members, and just about anything else to children in need after a parent has died. Their annual Champions for the Kids event was held at the Townsend Hotel in Birmingham and it was the first time I had ever been to an event like this. It was first class all the way and through live and silent auction items over $171,000 was raised for […]

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TCF Changes Many Lives

Posted on June 8, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox I have watched miracles happen when parents who have lost a child are helped. At a national Compassionate Friends Conference one summer, I spend a lot of time in the bookstore selling my book. It was there I met Bobby and his sister when they bought my book. He was very quiet and withdrawn. She explained: “I had to bring Bobby here. I was afraid for him.” In 2001 one of his teenage children was killed in a car accident. In 2002 the second of his teenage children was killed in a car accident. In 2003 the […]

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Others Share Ways To Help Bereaved

Posted on June 8, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox On my web site, www.sandyfoxauthor.com I have listed 10 ways that others can help us through our grief. Here are 10 additional ways I collected from friends to develop a new level of understanding between you and your friends that may help parents as they travel down that long, difficult road to recovery. **Acknowledge my grief; don’t ignore me because you are uncomfortable with the subject of death. It makes me wonder if what happened means nothing to you. **Don’t try to understand the depth of my pain. Just put a loving hand on my shoulder or […]

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The Robin’s Song

Posted on June 8, 2009 - by Genesse Gentry

It’s spring once again. Our part of the world is turning back towards the sun; trees are leafing out; wildflowers are blooming. Robins are again singing to one another. And, I believe, also singing to those who are grieving. Before my daughter Lori died, I was under the misperception that only the English robin had a glorious song. That smaller, red-breasted scalawag of a bird delights all who hear it, and I had felt that we in the United States had been short-changed when they’d misnamed its larger, boring American cousin the same sweet name. All I’d ever heard our […]

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Writing Condolence letters

Posted on June 6, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox Whether you are a bereaved parent or just know of someone else who has lost a child, the most challenging letter an individual is ever called upon to write is a letter of condolence, particularly one about a child. The written word can bring much comfort when coping with a loss. We want to convey so much to these bereaved parents, particularly if we are close to them, but how should we do it? A few tips follow. First, acknowledge the loss and how shocked and dismayed you were to hear about the child dying. Then express […]

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‘Don’t Leave Me Here Without You’ – Why Caring For a Spouse is So Difficult

Posted on June 6, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

By Carol O’Dell — For many of us, caregiving for a spouse is in our future. We like to not think about it, or at least imagine that it’s a long, long time from now. For many, it’s a daily reality. According to the Family Caregiving Alliance, there is a much higher likelihood of receiving care from a spouse than from an adult child. Nearly one-quarter (22%) of caregivers who are themselves 65+ are caring for a spouse. (Personally, I think it’s higher than that). And it’s not all the women who are doing the caregiving.  I know lots of […]

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GRIEF SUPPORT 101: How to Help a Bereaved Friend or Loved One

Posted on June 5, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Fran Dorf – Thirty years after her son’s death, my friend still smarts when she remembers all the people who pointed out how lucky she was to have two other children. Another friend, whose brother recently died, grumbles that everyone keeps telling her it will get better with time. Another, whom I originally met in a grief support group, for years avoided anyone who hadn’t also lost a child. Having received my share of insensitive, even hurtful, comments after I lost my son, Michael, thirteen years ago, I certainly understand. Why do people so often say and do the […]

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