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Will I Ever Find Me Again? — New Roles After the Death of a Spouse

Posted on May 30, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

In response to “From a Plea for Help,” Julie Z. wrote: My husband died about 1.5 years ago, I continue to cry daily. He was everything to me. I am so tired of being so alone. I miss him so very much. Why did someone so wonderful need to go? I pray so very much, that the wonderful memories we made together will make me smile, not cry. I miss everything about him. I miss him, the wonderful marriage we shared and I miss, who I was when I was with him. He completed me. Will I ever find me […]

Knitting Circle Gives Hope To Author

Posted on May 30, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox I just got done reading The Knitting Circle, Ann Hood’s moving account of how a grieving mother survives the loss of her only daughter from an illness. Although the book is fictional, it parallels Hood’s own loss of her daughter and how joining a knitting circle saved her life. This book was written before her latest book, “Comfort” which I reviewed a while back, but is well-worth the sitting down in a comfortable chair and reading. It is a book that is simple in its words, understandable in it’s grief and acutely moving as it shows you […]

Recalling a Childhood Friend, Decades After Her Death

Posted on May 30, 2009 - by admin

By Linda C. Wisniewski — If a loss comes early in life, it sometimes takes many years before its full impact is felt. When my kindergarten best friend was killed, I was more puzzled and scared than sad. It was only when I began writing my own life story and recalled the events surrounding her death that I was able to find meaning in it. Here’s what I wrote about her in Chapter Three of my memoir, Off Kilter: What I remember most about Diane is the way she looked in her casket. That morning, our kindergarten class walked two-by-two […]

Memorial Day: When You Lose a Sibling in War

Posted on May 30, 2009 - by Ami Neiberger-Miller

A sibling relationship should be a lifelong friendship, but for those losing a brother or sister who served in the military, the pain and sorrow can be overwhelming. Adult siblings left behind must contend with their own grief and shock, adjust to an altered family structure and assume new responsibilities. To help brothers and sisters cope, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, TAPS held its first weekend retreat for siblings in 2008. The retreat was modeled after the organization’s regional seminars, which help surviving family members process their grief reactions, develop coping skills, and establish support networks. “Siblings often experience […]

How Do You Honor Deceased Colleague?

Posted on May 29, 2009 - by Norman Fried

Michele writes in: At our company, the executive secretary to the President, who was only in her early 30s, died last year suddenly one afternoon. She had been with the company for 12 years. She was like family to many of her coworkers. Any suggestions as to how to recognize the one-year anniversary of her death in a very low key manner? Dr. Norman Fried responds: Milestone days such as the anniversary of a death often restimulate sad feelings and memories that require compassion and attention. However, some co-workers may be unwilling or unable to honor this loss in a […]

Has the Music Stopped? Risking Again After a Loss

Posted on May 29, 2009 - by Stan Goldberg

By Stan Goldberg — When a sleep disorder forced me to retire at 57, and six months later I developed prostate cancer, I reacted to life as if the music had stopped. My misguided belief that life should always rest on an even keel appeared in the literature more than one thousand years ago in the form of a Zen story. A student said to his Master, “I had a terrible meditation session.” The teacher nodded his head knowingly and responded, “It will pass.” The next day the student again sought out the teacher and said, “I had a great […]

Father’s Day Approaches as a Father Dies

Posted on May 28, 2009 - by Gloria Lintermans

By Gloria Lintermans — My father is dying of cancer. He will be gone before Father’s Day, having spent 93 years in a world of snow-balling change. A huge person in my life, I don’t know how to say good-bye. Experience doesn’t help. My mother died two years ago, my husband almost seven. Loss, I guess, is something we never get “right”. Of one thing I am sure, while we think we can prepare for loss, truly this preparation can be only intellectual; we fool ourselves if we think we can prepare emotionally. There is much I have learned and […]

Be Humble

Posted on May 27, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

As I was working out the other day, I happened to look up at one of the many TV’s they have on at the gym and saw FOX news on. Neil Cavuto who has a popular program on that channel was talking but of course they did not have the sound on. All they had were those blurbs that run by the screen. When I looked up at the TV the blurb I saw was: “My Dad said, be humble… and good things will happen.” How true that is. My Dad said the same thing. […]

Mother’s Power Limited in the Face of Death

Posted on May 27, 2009 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

By Michele Neff Hernandez — Motherhood brings out the lioness in me. No task is too small or sacrifice too great to ensure the well being of my three children. In my mind’s eye, I can see myself jumping in front of an on-coming train to save their lives; feeding them first from my last ration of bread; offering myself as a meal for the hungry bear that is chasing them. In every one of these imaginings I manage to save the day. In the normal course of life, moms feed, bathe, clothe, soothe, encourage, celebrate, hold, hug, and protect […]

Sharing Stories Helps Us Remember

Posted on May 26, 2009 - by admin

by Judy Wright People who have lost a loved one, either a human or animal, search for ways to remember and at least keep a memory alive. Sharing stories helps us remember those good days and the joy that loved one brought to us. We may no longer to enjoy their fun and love in this existence, but the memory can remind us of the emotions and experiences we had together. We want to remember the deceased and maintain some part of their live lessons in our daily journey. This need to remember becomes especially strong on birthdays, anniversaries or holidays. […]