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Son’s 40th Birthday Would Have Been Today

Posted on May 20, 2009 - by Carol Loehr

Our son Keith died when he was almost 30 years old; that was 10 years ago. Today, May 20, 2009, he would have been 40 years old. As Keith’s birthday approached, I wondered what he would have accomplished in the last 10 years. Keith loved the outdoors, so I can still see him fishing, running, hiking, skating, skiing and scuba diving. However, I know how much Keith loved children, so if he was not married, with children of his own, he would be working with children that needed a Big Brother. I can also see Keith working with young children, […]

What Do We Do With the Treasures in Grandma’s Hope Chest?

Posted on May 19, 2009 - by Terri Saeed

By Terri Saeed — A hope chest filled with a wedding dress from 1940, countless photo albums, a high school scrapbook from 1931, a memory book with witty quotations from depression era teenagers, college transcripts, baby booties and more. The contents of the chest represented over nine decades of memories. What do we do now? How can we possibly divvy up the contents of a life? How will we keep Grandma’s legacy alive? This was the challenge we faced as we went through the most personal of my grandmother’s belongings after her death. One family member was going to become […]

Death, and Hope, in the Middle East

Posted on May 18, 2009 - by Reg Green

By Reg Green — When the doorbell rang in John Boria’s house in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, on August 31, 2004, and he saw three National Guard Air Force colonels standing there, his first thought was that they had come to the wrong address. The second, a moment later, came with sickening force. “Has something happened to my son?” he asked. Yes, they told him, something has happened. The Boria’s elder son, Capt. John Javier ‘Javy’ Boria, a 29-year-old Air Force pilot, had been injured in an off-duty accident in an all-terrain vehicle he was driving in Qatar, where he was […]

We’ll Vote On It

Posted on May 18, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

As I was writing this post I was going to go in a completely different direction and then something changed. I burped. Yep, that’s right I burped. Now readers out there are wondering how in the hell can you be influenced in writing about one of nature’s gaseous effects? The reason is very simple. Every time I used to burp around my Dad he would say the exact same thing: “Bring it up and will vote on it.” I laughed hysterically every single time he said it, and to this day I still have no […]

10 Dating Tips for Widows and Widowers

Posted on May 17, 2009 - by Abel Keogh

By Abel Keogh — Dating again after the death of a spouse can be an awkward experience. It can bring out feelings of guilt and betrayal for the person dating again. It can also bring out feelings of confusion and concern from friends, family, and those who were close to the deceased spouse. If you’ve lost a spouse and are looking to date again, here are 10 tips to make sure you’re able to successfully navigate the dating waters. 1. When you decide to date again is up to you There’s no specific time period that one should wait before […]

How to Talk to Children About Death

Posted on May 16, 2009 - by Howard Winokuer

By Howard R. Winokuer, Ph.D., FT Death is a subject that is usually not discussed, especially with children. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, one of the pioneers in the field of death and dying, has been quoted as saying that we live in a “death denying society.” It is believed that if death is not talked about, then maybe it won’t happen. Death is not something that can be avoided, of course. And at some point, almost all of us will face a death where a child is one of the survivors. What will we say? What will we do? First and […]

Death of a Child: ‘Unfinished Motherhood’

Posted on May 15, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Clara Hinton – When child-loss occurs, a mother goes through a difficult time of emotional turmoil and questioning. “Am I still a mother?” “Does my child still have a birthday each year, or does time stand still?” “Can the mother/child relationship continue to grow, or am I now an ‘unfinished mother’?” Losing a child often places a mother on a road that begins a lonelier journey than ever expected-one that can never really be explained. There was a beginning, but with the death of the child, there is no middle and no end. Everything seems so unfinished. Hopes and […]

Listening to Music Soothes, Distracts, Heals

Posted on May 15, 2009 - by Tony Falzano

By Tony Falzano — This is the 2nd in a series of four articles on music and how it acts as a healing agent for those grieving a loss. Last month we discussed the health benefits of listening to music. This month, we’ll look at another way that music helps us move through the grief process. The first time I saw music work, other than as an entertainment vehicle, was my senior year of college. I took a psychology course one semester. The professor had each student commit to be of service to a specific population of the community. Being […]

Talking to the Wall

Posted on May 14, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Growing up my Dad used to get so frustrated when he would have to repeat things over and over again to me. It is not that I didn’t understand them, it was probably more like I didn’t think it was important enough at the time to remember. Clean your room, don’t fight with your sisters, pick your shoes up from the front of the door were common things I did in which the infamous response from my Dad was, “It feels like I am talking to the wall.” How many times in life with family and friends do […]

Should I Dump the Widower I’m Dating?

Posted on May 13, 2009 - by Abel Keogh

Julie asks: I recently began dating a widower who told me his wife died a year ago. I’ve just learned she actually died 4 months ago. I like this man very much and we enjoy each other’s company. I don’t know details of how long she was ill, but he did say some of his kids (adults now) don’t approve of his dating. Should I stop dating this recent widower for not telling the truth or simply because it’s too soon, or both? Abel Keogh, author of Room for Two, responds: To paraphrase an old saying: If you see one […]