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Father’s Day Approaches as a Father Dies

Posted on May 28, 2009 - by Gloria Lintermans

By Gloria Lintermans — My father is dying of cancer. He will be gone before Father’s Day, having spent 93 years in a world of snow-balling change. A huge person in my life, I don’t know how to say good-bye. Experience doesn’t help. My mother died two years ago, my husband almost seven. Loss, I guess, is something we never get “right”. Of one thing I am sure, while we think we can prepare for loss, truly this preparation can be only intellectual; we fool ourselves if we think we can prepare emotionally. There is much I have learned and […]

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Be Humble

Posted on May 27, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

As I was working out the other day, I happened to look up at one of the many TV’s they have on at the gym and saw FOX news on.   Neil Cavuto who has a popular program on that channel was talking but of course they did not have the sound on.   All they had were those blurbs that run by the screen.   When I looked up at the TV the blurb I saw was: “My Dad said, be humble… and good things will happen.”   How true that is. My Dad said the same thing.   […]

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Mother’s Power Limited in the Face of Death

Posted on May 27, 2009 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

By Michele Neff Hernandez — Motherhood brings out the lioness in me. No task is too small or sacrifice too great to ensure the well being of my three children. In my mind’s eye, I can see myself jumping in front of an on-coming train to save their lives; feeding them first from my last ration of bread; offering myself as a meal for the hungry bear that is chasing them. In every one of these imaginings I manage to save the day. In the normal course of life, moms feed, bathe, clothe, soothe, encourage, celebrate, hold, hug, and protect […]

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Sharing Stories Helps Us Remember

Posted on May 26, 2009 - by admin

by Judy Wright People who have lost a loved one, either a human or animal, search for ways to remember and at least keep a memory alive. Sharing stories helps us remember those good days and the joy that loved one brought to us. We may no longer to enjoy their fun and love in this existence, but the memory can remind us of the emotions and experiences we had together. We want to remember the deceased and maintain some part of their live lessons in our daily journey.  This need to remember becomes especially strong on birthdays, anniversaries or holidays.  […]

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How Do You Honor Co-Worker on Anniversary of Her Death?

Posted on May 26, 2009 - by Patrick T. Malone

Michele writes in: At our company, the executive secretary to the President, who was only in her early 30s, died last year suddenly one afternoon. She had been with the company for 12 years. She was like family to many of her coworkers. Any suggestions as to how to recognize the one-year anniversary of her death in a very low key manner? Patrick T. Malone responds: I think the best way would be for the company to do something in her memory: a contribution to her favorite charity in her memory, a contribution to her school in her memory, for […]

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Grief Goes to Work: Part One

Posted on May 26, 2009 - by Patrick T. Malone

By Patrick T. Malone — Jack Gordon, former president of the Hospice Foundation of America, once said: “In a very real sense in our society, the workplace has become a kind of extended family. Businesses have responded to the changing needs of American families by adding programs that reflect this connection between work and life. Flexible work schedules, onsite childcare, and support for employees caring for aged parents or other loved ones are just a few of the initiatives reflecting those changes. It follows then that grief and bereavement affect the workplace as well.” I am the father of four […]

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The Everyday Hero

Posted on May 25, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Today as we celebrate Memorial Day, honoring all of our brave men and women who put their lives on the line every day so we can continue to enjoy our daily freedoms, we remember that these people are everyday people who live in your neighborhood.   These are the people you see at the police station, corner store, or in an executive’s office.   These brave men and women are your father or my mother.   These people are our real American heroes. My Dad died three years ago from an unexpected heart attack. It was sudden and it turned […]

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‘Decorate Your Memory’ on Memorial Day

Posted on May 25, 2009 - by Sharon Greenlee

By Sharon Greenlee — When you see or hear Memorial Day, what are the first visuals and words that pop into your mind?? I see the cemetery, the funeral, my mother’s grave. I hear my grandmother’s mournful crying, and I see and hear all of this through the eyes of the ten-year old who experienced it. Before that time, Memorial Day meant American flags, and Mason jars filled with peonies placed on graves of long-past relatives that I knew only through stories. I asked this same question of two friends who haven’t lost close loved ones yet.  Growing up in […]

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Poem: This Memorial Day

Posted on May 24, 2009 - by Mitch Carmody

By Mitch Carmody — Do not bring flowers to my grave and weep I did not die I do not sleep Lament not at my passing with tears upon my stone I do not lay beneath the sod and you are not alone Bouquets of flowers will not bring me back my voice cannot be heard look for me upon the wind in the song of a singing bird I now reside within your heart you must live my life for me your head, your heart, your hands have now become my legacy Allow my heart to beat in concert […]

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Myths Surrounding Loss

Posted on May 23, 2009 - by admin

by David Daniels, M.D. – Destructive myths abound concerning the loss and grief process. First, contrary to some views, there is no one “right” way to die or grieve; our personality type makes a difference. Some of us go in peace and some screaming. Many people don’t go through all the steps in the dying process outlined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (On Death and Dying) or in the order she states. She lists in order: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance/resignation. By bargaining, she means asking for a favor or another chance, often based on the promise of good behavior. […]

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