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The First Mother’s Day After Maddy’s Death

Posted on May 8, 2009 - by Lisa Buell

By Lisa Buell — I got a truck full of manure delivered to me the first Mother’s Day after my daughter Madison died. I had been sleeping in, hoping the day would turn to night before I had to come out of my room. The vibration of the truck shook the old single pane windows of my home and saved me from another morning of sleep without rest. I threw on my robe and made my way out the door just in time to see the load of turds falling on top of themselves in my driveway. “Sorry, I knocked […]

Celebrating Mother’s Day When Mom’s Gone, Turn Bitter Into Sweet

Posted on May 7, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

Mother’s Day can be bitter-sweet if your mom’s no longer here. It’s so hard to say the word, “dead,” and in many ways, our loved ones live on–in thoughts, in stories, in how they continue to impact our lives. For many, Mother’s Day can be so painful that we do all we can to avoid it. That avoidance is part of grief, and it’s necessary for a while. Grief is like a good soldier, but there comes a time when you say “Thank you, you’ve served me well,” and you let that soldier be released from duty. After my mother died from Alzheimer’s and […]

An Egg Today? Or a Hen Tomorrow? Our Choices in Grief

Posted on May 7, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

I’m a big believer in fortune cookies. In fact, I’ve long thought that if read very loudly — so that everyone else in the restaurant can hear — the fortunes will come true! I don’t know if there is any way to scientifically prove my theory, but I do like to test it each time we go out for Chinese food. I loudly read the last fortune cookie I opened; however, it offered more of what I’d consider a proverb than an actual fortune: “It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.” […]

Best Years With Mom Came Later

Posted on May 7, 2009 - by Lizzy Miles

By Elizabeth Miles — At 17, when I was told by my Uncle Paul that I was “just like my mother,” I cringed. Why would I want to be like her? At that time my mother was down on herself. She would spend days without leaving the house or even the couch. She wanted to have a job or be involved in clubs or charities but she didn’t know how, and she would always procrastinate getting started. Why would I want to be like that? But my uncle wasn’t talking about that side of her. He hadn’t seen her in […]

Bereaved Mother Seeks to Become Grief Counselor

Posted on May 6, 2009 - by Gloria Horsley

Betty writes in: I am 50 years old and lost my only child to suicide 10 years ago. I need to help others to make myself feel better; this is what I want to do. How do you become a grief counselor? Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder of the Open to Hope Foundation, replies: Hi Betty: It is good that you are thinking about how you can make meaning from your loss. Let me first say that losing your only child to suicide has set you on a path and a journey that few will ever follow. You are a survivor, […]

Mother Remembers Son and his Firebird

Posted on May 6, 2009 - by Anne Dionne

By Anne Dionne — It was Mother’s Day, 2001. The boy whom I cherished the most, my son Michael, was 19 years old and slipping out of my grasp too quickly. Where was that little boy with the infectious laughter–the boy who brought so much life and fun into our family? Wasn’t it just yesterday when I took that photograph of the excited little boy all dressed up for his first day at kindergarten? I remember feeling a little resentful because I hadn’t seen Michael smile much lately. His smile was the physical attribute that could melt my heart and […]

Is She ‘Half a Mother’ After the Death of Son?

Posted on May 5, 2009 - by Chris Mulligan

By Chris Mulligan — Apparent in all the media, bombarding my world, I saw advertisements the first Mother’s Day after my son died: The perfect Mothers’ Day gift. Celebrate Mom! Make her day! Surprise her with style. Especially for you, Mom! Delight her with diamonds! Enjoy your special day, Mom… People asked me: What are you doing on Mothers’ Day? I did not want to decide so I was glad my family decided for me. A Mothers’ Day Brunch – wouldn’t that be fun? My feelings about Mothers’ Day were as conflicted as my grieving. I was a mother, but […]

Celebrating Mother Earth and Mother Mary on Mother’s Day

Posted on May 5, 2009 - by Pamela Prime

By Pamela Prime — I awakened on Mother’s Day a few years ago with the awareness that I would be alone that day for the first time in thirty years. I recall lying in bed and feeling the loneliness that only my children could fill on that day, or so I thought. Although the sun was already shining and the birds chirping, I was reluctant to rise…what would I do to celebrate when none of my children were with me? My daughter Katie was a mother now and her excitement was naturally with her own children. My son, Mark was […]

Children React Differently When A Pet Dies, Based on Their Age

Posted on May 4, 2009 - by Cori Bussolari

By – Colleen Mihelich Many factors can contribute to how a child will feel when their pet dies. The child’s age and maturity are important factors. As with older people, the relationship the child had with the pet, the circumstances of the pet’s death, and other events or losses the child has experienced will influence the grieving process. The ability of the parents and others to provide support will also play an important role in helping the child work through the grief. Some generalities on how children may respond differently to the loss of a pet, as related to age […]

When Your Companion Animal is Missing

Posted on May 4, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

By Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, DCC As a hospice bereavement counselor who also specializes in pet loss, I’ve encountered in my support groups and through my websites many distraught animal lovers whose beloved dogs or cats have gone missing. These animals may have escaped from their home or yard, run off while traveling with their owners, been taken in by a stranger, or even outright stolen. I have a special place in my heart for such pet parents, because I’ve been there, too – as I describe in this excerpt from my book, The Final Farewell: One Christmas Eve my beloved […]