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Dealing With the Death of an Abusive Mother

Posted on May 4, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

Question: Two weeks ago, my mother died of metastatic cancer. We had a strained relationship our entire life together. Growing up she could be very cruel to me, and that is what ensued as I tried to care for her. Before her illness, we hadn’t spoken in almost 3 years, but I wanted to be there for her and support her. I forgave her before she died and asked that she forgive me, and I feel a certain amount of closure which we were able to create. But just when things were going beautifully, it was as if some demonic […]

Toasting My Mom by Eating Her Food

Posted on May 3, 2009 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

Three times on Mother’s Day, I’m going to raise my glass to my mother Eveline. For breakfast, it’s going to be black coffee with a cheese Danish. For lunch, it’ll be a cup of pea soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. For dinner, I’ll have a good Prime Rib with baked potatoes, fresh chives and horseradish cream. My thinking is if Eveline hasn’t come back yet as diva ectoplasm, then I need to GPS her spirit by eating her comfort foods. Food is love, comfort and memory, all bundled into one. And eating a grilled cheese sandwich will be like […]

How Do We Cope When We Lose A Loved One?

Posted on May 2, 2009 - by admin

(by Evelyn Hall) A friend has lost a family member, maybe a child, husband or mother. What does one say or do? Some of us don’t know what to say, so we remain silent. Others don’t know what to do, so they remain still. I was asked to write an article about losing a loved one. I feel I have the experience to write this because I lost my best friend, my mother, three years ago. She was eighty-six and her age helped me cope with her death better than I thought I would, but it didn’t stop me from […]

‘Don’t Ever Doubt You Are a Mother’

Posted on May 2, 2009 - by Nina Bennett

By Nina Bennett — In a monumental moment of synchronicity, I was present the night my beloved granddaughter was born still. She slid into this world without drawing a breath, following a full-term, healthy pregnancy and normal, though long, labor. In a poignant moment, Jennifer, my daughter-in-law, looked at me and quietly asked, “So am I a mother or aren’t I?” With her question, my heart broke all over again. Later, Jenn told me how she resented not having the chance to parent her daughter. Oh, but Jenn, you did parent your daughter. Not in the way you dreamed of, […]

Motherless: Still Learning to be an Orphan

Posted on May 1, 2009 - by Lisa Peacock

By Lisa Peacock — Today I woke up and felt off. You all know what I am talking about. That nagging feeling that something is wrong but you just do not know what. I rolled myself out of bed and tried to throw off the heavyness that was pushing down on my shoulders. I wanted to just curl back up in bed and go back to sleep, but I was not sure why. As I struggled to uncover the inner answer I mechanically went about my day. I realized that I was longing for the comfort of my mother. I […]

Connecting With Mother After Her Death

Posted on April 30, 2009 - by Jane Greer

By Jane Greer — As difficult as Mother’s Day can be when you are facing the loss of your mom, it also can become an opportunity abounding for afterlife connection if you are open to it or are ready to open up to it. Receiving a sign from your loved one is an incredibly powerful experience that brings with it tremendous healing and comfort. Most importantly, it is something that you can initiate through “transcommunication.” In my book, The Afterlife Connection – A Therapist Reveals How To Communicate With Departed Loved Ones, I teach readers how to specifically ask for […]

Finding Joy in a World of Losses

Posted on April 29, 2009 - by John Pete

Everything in this world that lives, will one day die. That is a fact of life. From the moment we are born we begin a journey that ends the same for every human being. And along the way, we will lose many, many things: Time, loved ones, beloved pets, material things… So in the midst of so much loss, how can we persist and thrive? Some people are bubbly and upbeat, and some are sullen and negative. And most of us exist somewhere in between. So how is it some people cope so much better with life’s ups and downs than others? And why does […]

“Honey, Grandma Died”: Talking to Your Children About Tough Issues

Posted on April 29, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

It’s so, so hard to have to tell your son or daughter that their grandfather, grandmother, or parent has died. We dread it so much that we avoid it, but this is a time when our children need us to most. They need us to be clear. They need us to answer their questions. How Do You Tell a Child That a Loved One Has Died? Keep it simple. Use “died”, not “He is sleeping.” Allow your child to express raw feelings freely or ask questions. Answer questions honestly and simply. Do not go into detail, unless asked. If the death […]

How Can We Help You?

Posted on April 29, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox “How can we help?” Parents, relatives and especially close friends have asked that question of bereaved parents… perhaps even to you. Were you reluctant to answer? Here are 10 suggestions of what you may want to say to others to keep communication lines open and promote understanding of your situation. 1. Encourage me to talk about my child and truly listen to what I have to say. You may learn something you never knew that could be of help in how you react to me. 2. Call and ask me to go out with you to lunch, […]

Does anybody want to play catch?

Posted on April 29, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

When I was growing up one of my favorites things to do was to play catch. It didn’t matter what the ball was. It could have been a football, baseball, or basketball, I didn’t care. I could play catch or shoot baskets for hours on end and not get the least bit bored. I always had this vision growing up that my Dad, when I was a little kid, would want to play catch with me for hours and feel like it was the greatest thing in the world he was doing at the time. […]