When I was growing up one of my favorites things to do was to play catch. It didn’t matter what the ball was. It could have been a football, baseball, or basketball, I didn’t care. I could play catch or shoot baskets for hours on end and not get the least bit bored. I always had this vision growing up that my Dad, when I was a little kid, would want to play catch with me for hours and feel like it was the greatest thing in the world he was doing at the time. Then we would go in the house together have something cold to drink and talk about sports.
Well thank god for friends, because I can count on one hand the times that it actually happened. I remember one time he wasn’t throwing the ball anywhere near where I was and I was sick of running after the ball. So I picked up my mitt and left. I was frankly sick of running and wasn’t having a good time. Another time right after my birthday we were playing catch and the ball hit me in the jaw because I didn’t see it coming. I could barely eat my leftover birthday cake because my jaw was so sore. After that incident, I don’t think I remember playing catch with him again. I think I was 10.
Looking back on it, maybe he just flat out didn’t like playing catch because he thought it was a waste of time or boring. And that’s fine because I thought many of the things he did were down right boring too. An example was that he used to be into anything science fiction, like Star Trek. I would rather wear a dress and run around the backyard with a flower in my hair than watch anything Star Trek. At least the dress would be funny and my sincerest apologies to all the Trekkie fans out there. But the point is we are all different, and hopefully have some common ground that we can relate to that gives us that special bond between our loved ones. Embrace the differences between you and your loved ones. Those usually make for the fondest memories.
To this day, I could still play catch with anyone for hours and I probably won’t be the one that gets bored or tired out. My Dad loved science fiction movies and Star Trek from when he was a young boy. Most things change in life, but those little important things that we love to do in childhood stay with us as adults. As many of you mourn the lost of your loved ones or are an example to other loved ones in your family, take time to appreciate the fact that everybody has a little piece of themselves that they carry with them throughout their life.
Someday my kids might not want to play catch and that’s OK. Whatever they want to do is fine. Everyone truly has different talents and interests. I just hope that I am open-minded to remember what I said here today and apply it to the future. I don’t want my kids to wonder someday why their Dad wasn’t happy playing catch with them.
Always a friend to listen,
Eric Tomei-author I Miss My Dad
Tags: grief, hope
