Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Are You Dreading the Death Date of a Loved One?

Posted on April 27, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

No matter how much you try not to think about it, you dread the day your loved one died. It’s especially hard, those first couple of anniversaries. Perhaps you spent years caregiving and you’re dealing with the void in your life. Perhaps it was sudden and you feel as if the bottom fell out of your life. It feels as if you’re going to get physically ill, dreading this day. Even years later, a dear friend of mine wonders what’s wrong with her come late May, early June. I remind her that’s when her father died. He commited suicide and […]

Sacred Moments With the Body After the Death

Posted on April 27, 2009 - by Nancy Manahan & Becky Bohan

By Nancy Manahan, Ph.D., and Becky Bohan. M.A. — In their last Open to Hope posting, “Washing Diane’s Body: Caring at the Crossroad,” Nancy described the extraordinary ritual of washing Diane’s body. In this installment, Nancy’s spouse Becky recounts the four-hour home vigil, which gave family members and friends a chance to be with Diane’s body, to grieve, and to support each other in a sacred ritual. While Nancy and others were washing Diane’s body, I heated up the Indian curry and rice I had brought from home. I sat at the kitchen table, eating with Bill and Diane’s four […]

Grandmother Reinvests in Life

Posted on April 26, 2009 - by admin

By Nina Bennett When I was young, New Year’s Eve was always magical. It was the only night my brother, sister and I were permitted to stay up late. We would watch the ball drop in Times Square on television. We made New Year’s resolutions, even though we had no idea what a resolution was. As I moved through my teenage years, New Year’s Eve presented a dilemma. I wanted to go to parties with my friends and the special someone in my life, but families I baby-sat for throughout the year were willing to pay what at that time […]

How to Care For Your Brain While Grieving

Posted on April 26, 2009 - by Louis LaGrand

By Dr. Lou LaGrand — Has it been weeks since the death of your loved one and you still feel sluggish with low energy levels? Are you hesitant in making decisions? Confused? Is hope draining out of you and all you think about is a bleak future? It is not unusual to suffer physical and emotional depletion when mourning. Adapting to the loss of a loved one is always a major challenge and calls for a new awareness and the development of new routines without the presence of the beloved. It will help you immensely to deal with all of […]

Without a Mooring — For Bereaved, the Waves Keep Crashing

Posted on April 24, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

By Beverly Chantalle McManus — Those of us who have survived the death of a spouse receive ongoing reminders that life will never be the same. Just as we feel we’re finally able to be buoyant again, as we’re coming to grips with this most devastating loss and the profound changes that overtake every aspect of our lives, it often feels like yet another huge wave comes from nowhere, to crash into us, hurling us to the ocean’s rocky floor, leaving our mouths and lungs filled with sand and salt water. Sometimes these waves are of a financial nature — […]

Taking a Risk to Bloom in the Spring

Posted on April 23, 2009 - by Kirsti Dyer

Dr. Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, CWS — After the long winter comes the warm days of spring to melt away the enshrouding white blanket of grief. The once white landscape is altered turning into bright fields of multi-hued wildflowers, as the lands and animals awaken from their long winter’s sleep into springtime and life. Without a doubt, spring is my favorite season; it is a time of rebirth and renewal. The beauty in this time of year can be used to help those living with loss. Poets and writers have used imagery of the changing seasons to explain loss, […]

Loss of Infant Twin Inspires Mother to Share Story

Posted on April 22, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Beth Larson – In 2001 I gave birth to my twin daughters Madelyne and Shirley. They were only 26 weeks gestation, and I had been in the hospital on bed rest because the water around Shirley broke everyday starting at 19 weeks. I was in the hospital for 7 weeks, laying there praying and watching my other two children, Alexander and Emmalynn, ages 3 and 5, come to visit me. I was terrified, my husband was anxious and the children were scared because Mommy was not at home. When I went into labor I knew that I had 50/50 […]

A Gift of Remembrance

Posted on April 22, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox Sometimes in the mist of everyday living something special happens that you know you will keep in your heart forever. For me that something special happened about six months ago. Out of nowhere I received a letter from my daughter Marcy’s first high school boyfriend from 25 years ago, a very personal letter in which he opened his heart about what Marcy meant to him. Almost 15 years is a long time to wait to write such a letter, but just the fact that it was sent at all was so very special to me. He found me because of an […]

Spring cleaning…

Posted on April 22, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Hopefully that summer is right around the corner (yeah right) it was hailing here in Michigan today, it is the time for year for everyone to take inventory and do the dreaded spring cleaning. Mostly, spring cleaning consists of getting rid of past stuff to make room for future stuff. Basically in the end every year, it is a recycling of some stuff always. A sense of real accomplishment comes with a good spring cleaning as new hope arises that your literal house will stay that way the whole year, if not for just a week. Last […]

Multiple Losses: Start With the Pain

Posted on April 22, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

By Harriet Hodgson — Nobody expects multiple losses. If and when they come the pain is unbearable. ?Who should you grieve first? How long will you grieve? Will you ever be happy again? You want to escape the pain, but it is this pain – a journey through darkness – that leads to healing. Pat McNees makes this point in her book, “Dying: A Book of Comfort.” McNees includes one of her own articles in the anthology, “Grief: The Only Way Out is Through.” As she explains, “The work of grieving, and the only way to get through mourning, […]