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How Can We Help You?

Posted on April 29, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox “How can we help?” Parents, relatives and especially close friends have asked that question of bereaved parents… perhaps even to you. Were you reluctant to answer? Here are 10 suggestions of what you may want to say to others to keep communication lines open and promote understanding of your situation. 1. Encourage me to talk about my child and truly listen to what I have to say. You may learn something you never knew that could be of help in how you react to me. 2. Call and ask me to go out with you to lunch, […]

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Does anybody want to play catch?

Posted on April 29, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

When I was growing up one of my favorites things to do was to play catch.   It didn’t matter what the ball was.   It could have been a football, baseball, or basketball, I didn’t care.   I could play catch or shoot baskets for hours on end and not get the least bit bored.   I always had this vision growing up that my Dad, when I was a little kid, would want to play catch with me for hours and feel like it was the greatest thing in the world he was doing at the time.   […]

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Little People with Big Hurts

Posted on April 28, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Cathi Lammert, RN – Most children who have a sibling that dies due to a pregnancy loss, stillbirth or in the first few months of life will experience a grief reaction.  However, often times, their grief is overlooked or discounted. Parents may be so overwhelmed by their own grief that they are unable to assist their children with their issues. Parents often ask me “Will my child be negatively affected by the death of their baby sibling?”  I have to say the answer to this question is, “Usually not, if the child’s grief is acknowledged.” In this article, I […]

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Daughter Resents Mother’s Happiness After Death of Father

Posted on April 28, 2009 - by Fred Luskin

Sasha writes in: My father passed away three years ago following a stroke. I loved him very much but I have never gotten on with my mother. My sister told me yesterday that our mother has started dating again. Apparently it’s been going on for six months – maybe more. I realise it’s childish but I’m very angry with her. I feel like it’s a betrayal of my father and of course us (the children). I should be happy with her, I know, that she’s able to get on with her life. My sister tells me that Mom keeps a […]

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Mother’s Cheerful Dying Days

Posted on April 28, 2009 - by Karla Wheeler

By Karla Wheeler If you did a double-take when you saw the word “cheerful” in the headline above, you’re not alone. I did the same thing when I began to proofread the first draft of this Mother’s Day article. I realize “cheerful” doesn’t seem like an appropriate adjective for describing someone’s dying days, not unless that person was a positive thinker who always saw the glass as half full – to overflowing – rather than half empty. That was my mother. There she lay during her last weeks of life, bedridden from the rapid advance of lung cancer, dependent on […]

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What You Can Do to Help a Grieving Person

Posted on April 28, 2009 - by Jane Galbraith

By Jane Galbraith — When we are with a grieving person, it’s common to feel helpless, or to not know what to say. We think we might make the situation worse.  Well there ARE things that we can do or say to help those who are grieving. We can help, and not just in little ways. Here are a few points to consider when you are trying to help someone who is grieving: 1. First and very important, talk about the person who has died. It seems that we never want to mention their name. I know it comes from […]

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Vet Centers Offer Grief Counseling for Military Survivors

Posted on April 27, 2009 - by Ami Neiberger-Miller

Bereavement counseling is assistance and support for people with emotional stress following the death of a loved one. It can include a broad range of transition services, including outreach, counseling, and referral services. The Department of Veterans Affairs offers bereavement counseling to parents, siblings, spouses, and children of Armed Forces personnel who died in service to our country, including family members of Reservists and National Guard service members who died while serving on federally activated duty. The VA’s bereavement counseling is provided by the VA Vet Center program, which operates a system of 232 community-based counseling centers. These Vet Centers […]

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Dealing with Media Attention After a Loved One Dies

Posted on April 27, 2009 - by Ami Neiberger-Miller

For many surviving families who have lost a loved one in the military, our interactions with the media are interwoven with our experiences in the days immediately after our loved one dies. We encounter the reporters on our front porch, field phone calls from the Associated Press, and might even scan pictures to share. As a seasoned public relations professional with more than a decade of experience, I am no stranger to this type of intense scrutiny from the media. I have faced attack ads and rallied supporters for threatened programs. After Hurricane Katrina, I handled an avalanche of media […]

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Dealing With Grief Over the Holidays: Practical Tips to Help

Posted on April 27, 2009 - by Ami Neiberger-Miller

Holiday cheer and merrymaking may be everywhere at certain times of the year, but for thousands of Americans grieving the loss of a loved one, the holiday season can be an emotional minefield. And there’s no road map for easy navigation. “The holiday season can be particularly challenging for families who are grieving the recent loss of a loved one,” said Bonnie Carroll, the founder and chairman of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, TAPS. “We offer tips to help surviving military families, and they are applicable to anyone who is grieving.” For more than a decade, TAPS has helped […]

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Supporting Children Dealing with Grief During the Holidays: Tips to Help

Posted on April 27, 2009 - by Ami Neiberger-Miller

The holidays can be a magical time of year, but for children who have recently lost a parent, sibling, or another significant person in their lives, the holiday season can be an emotional minefield. It can also pose challenges for their still grieving surviving parents and other family members. “The holiday season can be particularly difficult for families with bereaved children because children carry their own expectations about the holidays, as well as their own grief over the loss,” said Bonnie Carroll, the founder and chairman of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, TAPS. “The holiday season can be a […]

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