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An Egg Today? Or a Hen Tomorrow? Our Choices in Grief

Posted on May 7, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

I’m a big believer in fortune cookies.   In fact, I’ve long thought that if read very loudly — so that everyone else in the restaurant can hear — the fortunes will come true!   I don’t know if there is any way to scientifically prove my theory, but I do like to test it each time we go out for Chinese food.   I loudly read the last fortune cookie I opened; however, it offered more of what I’d consider a proverb than an actual fortune:   “It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.” […]

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Best Years With Mom Came Later

Posted on May 7, 2009 - by Lizzy Miles

By Elizabeth Miles — At 17, when I was told by my Uncle Paul that I was “just like my mother,” I cringed.  Why would I want to be like her?  At that time my mother was down on herself.  She would spend days without leaving the house or even the couch.  She wanted to have a job or be involved in clubs or charities but she didn’t know how, and she would always procrastinate getting started. Why would I want to be like that? But my uncle wasn’t talking about that side of her.  He hadn’t seen her in […]

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Bereaved Mother Seeks to Become Grief Counselor

Posted on May 6, 2009 - by Gloria Horsley

Betty writes in: I am 50 years old and lost my only child to suicide 10 years ago. I need to help others to make myself feel better; this is what I want to do. How do you become a grief counselor? Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder of the Open to Hope Foundation, replies: Hi Betty: It is good that you are thinking about how you can make meaning from your loss. Let me first say that losing your only child to suicide has set you on a path and a journey that few will ever follow.  You are a survivor, […]

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Mother Remembers Son and his Firebird

Posted on May 6, 2009 - by Anne Dionne

By Anne Dionne — It was Mother’s Day, 2001.  The boy whom I cherished the most, my son Michael, was 19 years old and slipping out of my grasp too quickly. Where was that little boy with the infectious laughter–the boy who brought so much life and fun into our family? Wasn’t it just yesterday when I took that photograph of the excited little boy all dressed up for his first day at kindergarten? I remember feeling a little resentful because I hadn’t seen Michael smile much lately. His smile was the physical attribute that could melt my heart and […]

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Is She ‘Half a Mother’ After the Death of Son?

Posted on May 5, 2009 - by Chris Mulligan

By Chris Mulligan — Apparent in all the media, bombarding my world, I saw advertisements the first Mother’s Day after my son died: The perfect Mothers’ Day gift.  Celebrate Mom! Make her day! Surprise her with style.  Especially for you, Mom! Delight her with diamonds! Enjoy your special day, Mom… People asked me: What are you doing on Mothers’ Day? I did not want to decide so I was glad my family decided for me. A Mothers’ Day Brunch – wouldn’t that be fun? My feelings about Mothers’ Day were as conflicted as my grieving. I was a mother, but […]

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Celebrating Mother Earth and Mother Mary on Mother’s Day

Posted on May 5, 2009 - by Pamela Prime

By Pamela Prime — I awakened on Mother’s Day a few years ago with the awareness that I would be alone that day for the first time in thirty years.  I recall lying in bed and feeling the loneliness that only my children could fill on that day, or so I thought.  Although the sun was already shining and the birds chirping, I was reluctant to rise…what would I do to celebrate when none of my children were with me? My daughter Katie was a mother now and her excitement was naturally with her own children.  My son, Mark was […]

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Children React Differently When A Pet Dies, Based on Their Age

Posted on May 4, 2009 - by Cori Bussolari

By – Colleen Mihelich Many factors can contribute to how a child will feel when their pet dies. The child’s age and maturity are important factors. As with older people, the relationship the child had with the pet, the circumstances of the pet’s death, and other events or losses the child has experienced will influence the grieving process. The ability of the parents and others to provide support will also play an important role in helping the child work through the grief. Some generalities on how children may respond differently to the loss of a pet, as related to age […]

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When Your Companion Animal is Missing

Posted on May 4, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

By Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, DCC As a hospice bereavement counselor who also specializes in pet loss, I’ve encountered in my support groups and through my websites many distraught animal lovers whose beloved dogs or cats have gone missing. These animals may have escaped from their home or yard, run off while traveling with their owners, been taken in by a stranger, or even outright stolen. I have a special place in my heart for such pet parents, because I’ve been there, too – as I describe in this excerpt from my book, The Final Farewell: One Christmas Eve my beloved […]

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Mother’s Day Flowers

Posted on May 4, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Beth Seyda – It was back in 1998 that I was finally eligible to celebrate my first Mother’s Day.  Our first child, Dylan, had been born in the fall of 1997 after many years of fertility issues.  But when that May holiday came around, one that I had longed to be a part of, it was a bitter-sweet day.  Yes, I was a mother, but now without a child.  Our sweet baby lived for only two weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit and died peacefully in our arms. I struggled that first Mother’s Day – I wanted to […]

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Dealing With the Death of an Abusive Mother

Posted on May 4, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

Question: Two weeks ago, my mother died of metastatic cancer. We had a strained relationship our entire life together. Growing up she could be very cruel to me, and that is what ensued as I tried to care for her. Before her illness, we hadn’t spoken in almost 3 years, but I wanted to be there for her and support her. I forgave her before she died and asked that she forgive me, and I feel a certain amount of closure which we were able to create. But just when things were going beautifully, it was as if some demonic […]

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