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The ‘Weirdness’ of Grief

Posted on May 13, 2009 - by Ken Doka

By Kenneth J. Doka, PhD. — A while ago, someone asked me what was the most common way that bereaved individuals described their experience of grief.  I thought for a few moments. It was not, as I reflected, the words one would generally expect – “sad”, “lonely”, or “unhappy.”  The word that I think so many people use to describe their experience of grief was the word “weird.” It makes sense.  So much of the experience of grief is so strange. We may experience all sorts of reactions – strong, intense emotions that seem to wash over us in waves. […]

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Groomin’ and Cryin’: Man Mourns Brother While Watching TV

Posted on May 13, 2009 - by Scott Mastley

By Scott Mastley — My first- and second-grade daughters, Margo and Molly, were surprised to see their daddy blinking back tears while watching a dog grooming show on TV.  They were successfully avoiding bedtime by snuggling with me on the couch, so I found a show that we could watch together, and even though I had no interest in the Groomer of the Year, it was age-appropriate for them. Then something happened that instantly and emotionally connected me to the outcome of the show.  One of the two finalists mentioned that he had buried his brother six months earlier and […]

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So the grass isn’t perfect…

Posted on May 12, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

As spring time approaches, the sun is coming out, the rain clouds visit occassionally and the grass grows and grows.   This is a signal in the Midwest that yes, finally we can get rid of the 6 months of winter everyone complains about.   A favorite pastime of every kid was that first time they cut the lawn under the watchful eye of Dad. I can remember it like it was yesterday, and I am sure if my Dad was here too, he would remember it in a much different way. I was about 10 and I felt like […]

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In Pieta, Michelangelo Captured Pain of the Bereaved

Posted on May 12, 2009 - by admin

By Rev. Charles T. Rubey — The Pieta is on display in St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. It is one of the more famous pieces of sculpture created by Michelangelo. It depicts Mary holding the crucified body of Jesus. This mother’s heart is broken as she views her child’s broken body. I thought of this piece of art and how appropriate it is as we celebrated Mother’s Day in May. This piece of art symbolizes mothers who are grieving the death of a child, or children grieving the death of a mother or a mother figure. The hearts of people […]

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Six Questions To Prepare You For, “How Are You Doing?”

Posted on May 11, 2009 - by Sharon Greenlee

By Sharon Greenlee — It’s been over six months since my husband died and people still ask the question: “How are you doing?” If you’ve lost a loved one, you’re familiar with that phrase. I wonder how you’ve responded?  Do you really tell them, or do you offer a polite cliche? I found myself practicing various responses so as to not be caught off guard and either melt into a pile of tears or sound stoic and cold in my efforts to stay together. As a counselor in private practice I have worked with many grieving clients and I have […]

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Friends Help In Multiple Losses

Posted on May 10, 2009 - by admin

by Harriet Hodgson Search the Internet, browse a bookstore, and you find hundreds of books about grief. You will find personal stories, tributes to the deceased, grief poetry, text books, work books, and memory books. When I looked for a book about coping with multiple losses I could not find what I needed. As it turned out, friends were my “book” and they comforted me in many ways. Though I remember little about 2007, I remember it as the year of death. My daughter and father-in-law died the same weekend. Eight weeks later my brother died. Six months after that […]

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Honoring a Mother Who Has Lost a Child

Posted on May 10, 2009 - by Karla Wheeler

By Karla Wheeler — In every community there are mothers who need extra doses of TLC this Mother’s Day. I’m thinking of the mothers who are enduring that painful grieving experience, the loss of a son or daughter. As we go about our usual Mother’s Day activities, lavishing our moms with gifts or paying tribute to mothers who are no longer living, let’s take a moment to reach out to a mom we know who has lost a child through death. My father was a role model in this regard. His reverence for his mother, and all mothers, reached new […]

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Grief in the Workplace

Posted on May 9, 2009 - by admin

by Patrick Malone The Situation $37,500,000,000: Businesses are accustomed to putting a price tag on lost productivity and increased insurance costs associated with conditions from diabetes to those from life problems including substance abuse and depression. For the first time there is data available on the impact of grief in the workplace and the annual cost of grief from the death of a loved one is more than $37.5 billion. The grief following the death of a child is intense, long-lasting and complex. It is perhaps the most devastating loss a parent may experience and poses unique challenges for you, […]

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Missed Opportunities

Posted on May 9, 2009 - by admin

by Lana When we lose a loved one, sometimes when we reflect on the past, we find missed opportunities. The spring before Alicia died, she was invited to a 2 week seminar at Princeton. I never told her how proud I was of her accomplishments! She was working on her PhD in mathematics and she had earned the highest score on her Preliminary exams and was one of the most promising students they had at the University of Colorado at Boulder. So, she was invited to attend this two week seminar. When you lose a loved one, you think of […]

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The Yellow Butterfly

Posted on May 9, 2009 - by admin

by Corinne Ruiz April 22, 2004, my life was forever changed. My 14 year old daughter, Olivia Corinne Hoff passed away. As I look back now, I don’t even know how I survived. I didn’t think it was possible to live another day, another week, another month and another year, but I have. My grief journey continues to this day, such hard work, every day. For those parents who have lost a child, you all know too well how difficult this journey is. Along the way, I felt as though I were stuck, unable to move forward and, of course, […]

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