Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Handling Money When You’ve Lost a Spouse

Posted on March 24, 2009 - by Sandra Pesmen

By Sandra Pesmen — We recently attended several financial seminars given by different money management firms to gather information about handling money when you’re grieving. Our goal is to help people during a time when it’s difficult to make wise decisions about anything, including money. One of the most important things I learned is that people who depend on fixed incomes, which includes many widows and widowers, are definitely in FEAR mode right now as we watch the Dow bob up and down on CNN. You’re forgiven if you want to rush to your broker, sell everything, and bury the […]

Should Mother Give Deceased Daughter’s Clothes to Someone Else?

Posted on March 23, 2009 - by admin

Question from Mary: I have a friend who lost her daughter at age 10. She now has a step-daughter that age, and my friend is giving her step-daughter her deceased daughter’s toys and other belongings. Is this normal? David Hurley, a contributing writer for Open to Hope, responds: It seems to me that giving her stepdaughter belongings from her deceased daughter is a sign of acceptance for the stepdaughter. Perhaps this mother, like me, has decided that there are no “steps” in her heart. I don’t think there is a “normal” when it comes to activities following the death of […]

Accidental Death of a Father

Posted on March 23, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Dear Eric, I had found your podcast on my ipod last night and I was so glad I had found it. My name is Alisha and I am a 25 year old, wife to a wonderful husband and three beautiful girls. I wanted to share my story with you. On september 14, 2008, I lost my Dad who was at the age of 51 to a sudden tragic accident with a gun. At the time my family and my husband’s family were on a camping trip. That sunday (sept. 14th) we were planning on packing up that day, but […]

Keeping Your Home After Losing a Loved One

Posted on March 23, 2009 - by Tony Falzano

By Tony Falzano — In Massachusetts, Bill and Sharon have emotionally “shut down” and ignored their daily responsibilities, including paying their mortgage. Three months after the death of their teenage daughter, they were on their way to losing their home to foreclosure. In California, a middle-aged woman named Sonya, suddenly lost her husband. She had no insurance, no savings and no job. She did have 2 teenagers and a seriously delinquent mortgage. The stress caused by the loss of her husband was now heightened by the prospect of losing her home too. Every day, across the country, delinquent homes turn […]

Dealing with Grief Triggers After a Loss

Posted on March 22, 2009 - by Louis LaGrand

By Dr. Louis LaGrand — Have you been having a relatively good day after a loss, and then while watching television, see a particular scene and suddenly feel the return of sadness? Or has a newspaper story of the death of a stranger set off sorrowful memories for you? These are moments of “grief triggering,” and are commonly the cause of grieving that can go on for days or longer. Kim Wencl, whose daughter died in a tragic house fire while at college, had the following experience. The bridge collapse in Minneapolis was a trigger for me. It really had […]

Continuation of Issues for Childless Parents

Posted on March 22, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox In my previous blog I spoke of issues parents have when they lose their only child. I spoke of “Am I still a mother,” “Do I need to make a new will?, and “Will there be any special events in my life?” Today I’ll finish with four other issues. First, “listening to others talk about their children and grandchildren.” My bridge friends talk about their children and grandchildren all the time. They have every right to. But do they really understand how I feel? Of course not. It’s never happened to them. They can never understand what […]

When Death Comes as a Shock…

Posted on March 20, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

Actress Natasha Richardson died yesterday–from a head injury. She fell on the bunny slopes while skiing with her son in Canada. She was 45. Her death comes as a shock to her family. As hard as it is to be a caregiver and watch someone you love die slowly, it’s even more heartbreaking to have your time cut short. Her husband, Liam Neeson, their children, and all her family members are facing hard times. Consoling one another when you don’t understand yourself. The world just doesn’t make sense. You aren’t supposed to die at 45. You aren’t supposed to die from just falling down. […]

He Was More Than the Way He Died

Posted on March 20, 2009 - by Debra Reagan

By Debra Reagan — “My son died of a drug overdose.” This is one of the most difficult sentences I have ever spoken in my life. Every time I opened my mouth to speak these words, my throat felt as though it was closing. I wanted to be truthful about his death in the hope that someone else could benefit from this tragedy. I also felt I owed it to family members to be honest with myself and with others. Oh, but the pain was so deep and heavy. There were times I privately wished the cause of death had […]

Writing Thank You Notes After a Funeral

Posted on March 19, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

By Beverly Chantalle McManus Over the past six years since Steve’s death, in grief workshops and counseling sessions, I’ve talked with hundreds of people whose loved ones have died. One of the most common hurdles in the grief and loss process is writing thank you notes acknowledging the thoughtful care, the flowers, the cards, the remembrances, from those who surround us during these tough times. I know that for me, despite the immense gratitude I felt in my heart for the thoughtfulness of friends and family, the act of writing the thank you notes was all but impossible. In some […]

A Fallen Hero

Posted on March 18, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Today, everyone took their turn at celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. Every person whether you’re Irish or not, has an excuse to be Irish at least for one day. Not to mention the fact that it is a good excuse to skip work and drink green beer. However, I could not be further from a celebrating mood on this day. I was at a funeral for a relative very close to our family, our beloved Jason, and it was truly one of the saddest days of my life. The funeral was to honor a man and celebrate a […]