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Keeping Your Home After Losing a Loved One

Posted on March 23, 2009 - by Tony Falzano

By Tony Falzano — In Massachusetts, Bill and Sharon have emotionally “shut down” and ignored their daily responsibilities, including paying their mortgage. Three months after the death of their teenage daughter, they were on their way to losing their home to foreclosure. In California, a middle-aged woman named Sonya, suddenly lost her husband. She had no insurance, no savings and no job. She did have 2 teenagers and a seriously delinquent mortgage. The stress caused by the loss of her husband was now heightened by the prospect of losing her home too. Every day, across the country, delinquent homes turn […]

Dealing with Grief Triggers After a Loss

Posted on March 22, 2009 - by Louis LaGrand

By Dr. Louis LaGrand — Have you been having a relatively good day after a loss, and then while watching television, see a particular scene and suddenly feel the return of sadness? Or has a newspaper story of the death of a stranger set off sorrowful memories for you? These are moments of “grief triggering,” and are commonly the cause of grieving that can go on for days or longer. Kim Wencl, whose daughter died in a tragic house fire while at college, had the following experience. The bridge collapse in Minneapolis was a trigger for me. It really had […]

Continuation of Issues for Childless Parents

Posted on March 22, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox In my previous blog I spoke of issues parents have when they lose their only child. I spoke of “Am I still a mother,” “Do I need to make a new will?, and “Will there be any special events in my life?” Today I’ll finish with four other issues. First, “listening to others talk about their children and grandchildren.” My bridge friends talk about their children and grandchildren all the time. They have every right to. But do they really understand how I feel? Of course not. It’s never happened to them. They can never understand what […]

What Makes Pregnancy Losses Unique

Posted on March 20, 2009 - by Monica Novak

by Irv Leon, Ph.D. – People who suffer miscarriages and stillbirths grieve over a baby they do not know. Understanding how these losses are different from other losses helps to appreciate the distinct way they are mourned. Here are several ways that pregnancy loss is unique. 1. It can feel less real. When you grieve, you typically recall the beloved with longing memories – his/her voice, face, treasured interactions. With pregnancy loss, there are no such memories to grieve. There is silence and blankness instead, haunting dreams for the future rather than memories of the past. This is why it is usually helpful […]

When Death Comes as a Shock…

Posted on March 20, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

Actress Natasha Richardson died yesterday–from a head injury. She fell on the bunny slopes while skiing with her son in Canada. She was 45. Her death comes as a shock to her family. As hard as it is to be a caregiver and watch someone you love die slowly, it’s even more heartbreaking to have your time cut short. Her husband, Liam Neeson, their children, and all her family members are facing hard times. Consoling one another when you don’t understand yourself. The world just doesn’t make sense. You aren’t supposed to die at 45. You aren’t supposed to die from just falling down. […]

He Was More Than the Way He Died

Posted on March 20, 2009 - by Debra Reagan

By Debra Reagan — “My son died of a drug overdose.” This is one of the most difficult sentences I have ever spoken in my life. Every time I opened my mouth to speak these words, my throat felt as though it was closing. I wanted to be truthful about his death in the hope that someone else could benefit from this tragedy. I also felt I owed it to family members to be honest with myself and with others. Oh, but the pain was so deep and heavy. There were times I privately wished the cause of death had […]

Writing Thank You Notes After a Funeral

Posted on March 19, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

By Beverly Chantalle McManus Over the past six years since Steve’s death, in grief workshops and counseling sessions, I’ve talked with hundreds of people whose loved ones have died. One of the most common hurdles in the grief and loss process is writing thank you notes acknowledging the thoughtful care, the flowers, the cards, the remembrances, from those who surround us during these tough times. I know that for me, despite the immense gratitude I felt in my heart for the thoughtfulness of friends and family, the act of writing the thank you notes was all but impossible. In some […]

A Fallen Hero

Posted on March 18, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Today, everyone took their turn at celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. Every person whether you’re Irish or not, has an excuse to be Irish at least for one day. Not to mention the fact that it is a good excuse to skip work and drink green beer. However, I could not be further from a celebrating mood on this day. I was at a funeral for a relative very close to our family, our beloved Jason, and it was truly one of the saddest days of my life. The funeral was to honor a man and celebrate a […]

Can We Enjoy Pavarotti at the Deathbed?

Posted on March 18, 2009 - by Lizzy Miles

By Elizabeth Miles — On a Friday in January of 2003, I get a phone call from my step mom. My aunt, my dad’s sister Shirley, has a pneumonia, it’s bad, she’s in hospice and could die any day now. I feel guilty for not visiting her over the past few years. She was living in a nursing home in Dayton since she had a stroke three or four years ago. My dad wants to drive together to see my Aunt Shirley. I tell him that I don’t want to because I don’t want to stay all day. Alone in […]

Preparing To Say Goodbye and Other Challenges of the Heart

Posted on March 17, 2009 - by John Pete

I found out this week that my father’s several years-long battle with cancer has moved to a terminal stage. And while the news is not completely unexpected, it is a frightening jolt to be faced with his mortality in terms of months, all the same. My father has quietly admitted that he is afraid and not yet ready to die; heartbreaking words from someone whose emotions are usually very reserved. My dad would likely be surprised to know that I have always seen him as one of the strongest men I have ever known, despite the fact that there have been many differences between us. He has not […]