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11-Year-Old Son Lashes Out After Death Of Dad

Posted on March 10, 2009 - by Neil Chethik

Question from Margaret: My husband of 16 years passed away a little over 6 months ago. He was not ill, so it was shock to me and our two sons, ages 10 and 11. My husband had a temper, but never, ever laid his hands on me. Now, my 11-year-old is pushing me and hitting me, and I do not know what to do. Can you help? Neil Chethik, author of FatherLoss, responds: I’m very sorry to hear about the death of your husband, and about your son’s personality changes following it. This must be a doubly painful situation for you. I conducted […]

Everything Seems So Unreal — Coping with Unexpected Death

Posted on March 9, 2009 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

Responding to Ten Things Every New Widow Should Know to Survive, Jean writes: I just lost my husband on 2/23/09. He passed away at the airport before taking the trip to the East Coast for the new job training. That was his first day of the new job since he was laid off last Christmas. He would have been 40 this month and we have two twin girls. They will be 1 this month as well. I don’t know what to do when I am alone. Everything seems so unreal. His mom blames everything on me. That adds more pain. […]

Is Six Months After Husband’s Death Too Soon to Begin Dating?

Posted on March 9, 2009 - by admin

Question from Mary: I lost my husband after 31 years. He literally dropped dead at work seven and a half months ago. We had been married almost 31 years and he was my soulmate. A few weeks ago, a man who I knew and met once through a social networking site started texting me and emailing me. He is separated and lonely. I look forward to his messages and I can’t help being flattered by his attention. He gives me a purpose to get up in the morning and I feel happier. At the same time, I feel a terrible […]

Let’s Go Fishing

Posted on March 9, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

One of the fondest memories I have with my Dad is the time we went fishing together. I think I was about 8 or 9 and it was one of the greatest memories I have of my Dad and I doing something fun together. Just like the good Cub Scout I was I wanted to make sure we were prepared and I kept checking the garage to make sure the fishing rods didn’t disappear that week. Those babies were going to get some action come Saturday. Now in my young brain, it felt like we got up […]

Film Review: Random Hearts

Posted on March 9, 2009 - by Stephanie Frogge

By Stephanie Frogge — Some years ago, what began as date night for my boyfriend and me with a rented copy of “Random Hearts” ended with an unexpected discussion of the nature of grief and expressions of mourning. The movie and our subsequent reactions to it helped frame my understanding of what constitutes normal grief reaction. “Random Hearts” (1999) stars Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas as strangers who become acquainted when their respective spouses are killed in a plane crash. As the story unfolds, we begin to suspect that Dutch Van Den Broeck (Ford), a detective with the Washington, […]

Opening Grief as a Gift

Posted on March 8, 2009 - by Alice Wisler

By Alice J. Wisler — Some view grief as a dirty word. It’s associated with pain, hardship, suffering, endless days of crying and never seeing the sun. It’s hard – tough on the body, spirit and mind. No one wants to have to go through grief. All hope to avoid it. The Oxford Dictionary defines “grief” as the media does – intense mourning. I know that’s true because when Daniel first died, the agonizing pain was intense. To walk into a store was painful. Seeing my surviving children and knowing that from now on Daniel would not be with us […]

Film Review: Steel Magnolias

Posted on March 7, 2009 - by Yvonne Lancaster

Reviewed by Yvonne Lancaster — “Steel Magnolias,” directed by Herbert Ross, includes the cast of Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Daryl Hannah, Olympia Dukakis, Julia Roberts, Tom Skerritt, Dylan McDermott, Kevin O’Connor and Sam Shepard. The story centers around six women customers at Truvy’s Beauty Parlor in a small Louisiana town. They share gossip and good natured ribbing as they deal with the joys, sadness and the trials and tribulations of their everyday lives. Through their strong and lively personalities and their different points of view, each woman has her own unique way of expressing love, loss, pain and […]

Film Review: The Savages

Posted on March 6, 2009 - by Fran Dorf

Reviewed by Fran Dorf — Written and directed by Tamara Jenkins, The Savages is a nuanced, closely observed film about a middle-aged brother and sister reckoning with their guilt, responsibility, and ambivalent feelings when their long estranged father develops vascular dementia and has to be placed in a nursing home. Funny and tragic, with amazing performances by the gifted Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney as siblings Jon and Wendy, with incredible work by Philip Bosco as their father, Lenny, The Savages lacks a single false moment. It believably conveys complex characters and their tragic situation without trying to imposing […]

Defining Moments

Posted on March 5, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Sometimes in life you have that moment that changes everything. It could that first moment you fell in love, getting into that college you always wanted, or winning the gold medal in the race you trained so hard for. Most of life’s defining moments can be just ordinary, everyday events or comments that upon further reflection could be the catalyst you need to make a change in your life. I remember once when I was a junior in high school, I was 16 years old, and typical of all 16 year olds, you think you know everything. […]

How Can I Let Go of Anger After the Death of a Child?

Posted on March 5, 2009 - by Fred Luskin

Question from Jay: My son Josh died July 12, 2008, from a drug overdose. The person who sold him the drug was his girlfriend’s mother. The police did an investigation that went nowhere due to the fact that they needed one of my son’s friends to make a buy off of her, but no one had the guts to do it. I know that she sold him the drugs because of a conversation that I had with my son two nights before he died. I was waiting to have spinal fusion surgery and was in constant pain, and my son […]