Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Grief Rituals Can Help on Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 12, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

We’ve barely made it through the holidays of December and January, and now the stores are filled with hearts and flowers and candy, all of it in celebration of the gift of love. But February 14 can be a difficult day for those of us who are grieving, and for some it will be the first Valentine’s Day since our precious Valentine died. For us there is no celebration; there is only grief. Sometimes, for fear of “letting go,” we may find ourselves “holding on” to our pain as a way of remembering those we love. Letting go of what […]

From Heartbreak to Happiness

Posted on February 11, 2009 - by admin

(Note: “From Heartbreak To Happiness” reprinted with permission by Aurora Winter) Most of us are looking for love in all the wrong places. When a relationship ends, whether it be through divorce, death, or break-up, most people rush out to find someone new. I know — I have done it myself! After my 33-year-old husband died suddenly, I yearned to find a new husband … and someone to be a father figure for our four-year-old son. But the truth is, we can’t just plop a new person into the hole in our hearts left by the loss of someone we […]

Getting Through Valentine’s Day Alone

Posted on February 11, 2009 - by Kira Copperman

By Kira B. Copperman, LMSW — As Valentine’s Day approaches, we are all bombarded with images of romance, relationships and love. Starting as early as January, it seems like every business has something to sell related to romance and is trying to capitalize on and add to the societal pressure created to make February 14th a magical day. For those people who are in love, Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful, memorable celebration but for people who are alone, it can be a difficult, endless day. As Valentine’s Day approaches, negative feelings about being alone may seem unavoidable; sad thoughts […]

Alzheimer’s and Violence, “I Don’t Want Anyone to Know How Bad It Is”

Posted on February 10, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

Have you stopped having people come into your home because you don’t want them to see your dad/husband or wife “that way?” Are you hiding how awful it really is? Alzheimer’s, Lewy Body, dementia and other neurological based diseases affect the brain in different ways. Some individuals become docile, too docile. They stop talking, and pretty much stop moving. For others, Alzheimer’s turns them into a fidget machine. They pace incessantly, talk, babble, rant, need next to no sleep, and when forced to sit, their knee jiggles non-stop. Others are paranoid and will lash out at anyone who tries to touch them–it’s as […]

Valentine Poem From a Dad to His Beloved Girl

Posted on February 10, 2009 - by Alan Pedersen

By Alan Pederson — One day in early February of 2007, I was driving near my home in Denver, Colorado, listening to a local talk radio show. One of the hosts of the show was setting up a commercial for a flower company he represented by saying his young daughter was now at an age where he was going to send her flowers for Valentine’s Day. As he talked glowingly and lovingly of his daughter and his excitement about sending her a beautiful bouquet of all different color roses, it got me thinking about my Ashley. I began to imagine […]

Loss Of First Grandparent A Major Blow

Posted on February 10, 2009 - by Neil Chethik

Katherine writes: I lost my grandfather last month, and this was my first loss of a close loved one. I am 28 years old. I can’t seem to stop thinking about my grandfather. Granted, it has only been just about two weeks, but I am afraid this pain is going to last forever. I find my grief is worse at night and during the day I can function somewhat, but when night comes and my children have gone off to bed, I feel myself start to fall apart again. Am I doing something wrong? Neil Chethik, author of FatherLoss, responds: I’m very […]

Mother Recalls Cherished Valentine From Son

Posted on February 9, 2009 - by Carol Loehr

By Carol Loehr — It was Valentine’s Day and Keith was five years old. We talked about Valentine’s Day, but Keith forgot the day was special for his mother. I gently reminded him that I didn’t get a Valentine from my special son. Keith just smiled, with those twinkling eyes and said, “Wait just a minute Mom.” He ran up the stairs to his room and within minutes, he was back down. He had made a Valentine’s Day card for me. The card was a simple red heart and it said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom!” Inside the card Keith wrote: […]

Affectionately Remembering a Valentine’s Day ‘Scrooge’

Posted on February 6, 2009 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

By Michele Neff Hernandez — My husband used to call Valentine’s Day “So What Day.’” Romantic, huh? He thought that greeting cards were a waste of trees, that buying flowers because someone told you to defeated the purpose, and that going to dinner on the big day just to eat from a limited menu and have servers anxiously awaiting your departure from the table was ridiculous. I will admit that we fought about this on a few occasions. Who wants to be the only girl in the office who didn’t get flowers? Eventually, we settled into our own brand of […]

Pregnancy After Pregnancy Loss

Posted on February 5, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Dr Lina Kaplan – Pregnancy loss presents a formidable challenge to bereaved parents. Grieving parents often report a profound sense of isolation and alienation at the time when they most need support. Many people do not fully appreciate the attachment that already has formed between the parents and their unborn child, nor the symbolic losses associated with pregnancy loss. Grieving parents, therefore, often feel their loss is minimized and trivialized (“it is all for the best”, “you are young, you’ll be pregnant in no time”) and feel both internal and external pressure to “move on.” One way in which […]

Brother-Sister Bond Showed Itself on Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 5, 2009 - by Anne Dionne

By Anne Dionne — A couple of years after my son Michael died, I was sorting through some things which I had saved from our children’s school years. I came across a Valentine card which depicts a little girl surrounded by heart symbols. “Stuck on you Valentine!,” the card reads. On the back of the card is seven-year-old Michael’s hand-written signature. The card was to his big sister Kelly. The emotional bond between Kelly and Michael was formed very early. Almost three years older, Kelly was excited about the prospect of welcoming her new brother into the world. When I […]