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In most families, there is a primary caregiver no matter how many siblings there are. Some try to divvy up the responsibilities, but it?s rarely equal distribution because of differing people?s lives?jobs, distance, abilities, etc. In many families, one sibling gets the brunt of the responsibility.
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And even if you agreed to it, over time, […]
I am a doctoral student in the School of Nursing at Columbia and I?just listened to your show on twin loss.? My name is Kevin Johnson,? and I had a wonderful twin brother named Kelvin Johnson.? Kelvin died?February 25, 2007.? It is a loss that I do not know how to move on in?life with.? […]
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I’ve Stopped Looking for Him
by Kim Hodne
I?ve stopped looking for him everywhere
I?m not sure when that happened
I don?t search for him in crowds
Or his car on the road
I?ve stopped looking for him
Biking on the paths
Swimming in the ocean
Skiing down the hills
I?ve stopped watching for him
To pull up the drive way
And run in with a hug
And […]
A friend of mine called me from her mother’s bedside.
Her mother?was dying. In-patient hospice. It wouldn’t be long.
My heart ached. I knew her mother. I could hear the sound of her voice in my head.
She was 78 years old. Not that old, but cancer doesn’t care–young, old.
Everyone had flown on to say their good byes. […]
Do you feel like running away?
You may have restless caregiver syndrome.
What?s that, you ask?
I may have made up the term, but I certainly experienced it firsthand.
Have you seen the commercials for restless leg syndrome?
They?re kind of quirky, and I?m not saying that it?s not a serious disorder, but it?s presented […]
Different personalities handle life, death, and caregiving differently.
We all have gifts to offer the world and to offer as a caregiver.?\
Stop trying to be something you’re not.
Stop trying to be your mother.
There are things you’re good at things you aren’t.
Accept this and let go of the guilt.?
By examining your basic personality traits, you can […]
One of the practices hospice?recommends is to ask your loved one’s fforgiveness–and to offer yours.
I’ve been thinking about this all day. The importance, or power of forgiveness and how it might keep us here on earth, lingering. Everything hospice does is to make passing easy, comfortable, and to give a sense of closure to everyone.
And […]
Is your parent or spouse negative all or most of the time?
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Dear Dr. Gloria,
I am hopeful you can offer some thoughts on our situation. My twin sister went through a divorce in 2006. In March of 2007, our father fell ill and my sister and her youngest son, Cody, 13, moved in with him to take care of him.
Statistics show that people spend about 4.5 years caregiving.
The average person with Alzheimer’s lives 5-8 years. That means there’s some time they might not be receiivng care–the early years before they’ve been diagnosed when they’re able to cover it up, make excuses, or their family members are just?too inundated with work and children to […]
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