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Eighteen Years Later, Father Confronts Daughter’s Killer

Posted on September 19, 2008 - by Lew Cox

By Lew Cox — In October 2005, I attended a California State parole hearing for the slayer of my daughter, Carmon. Carmon was 22 years old when she was murdered in 1987 in Los Angeles. The drive from Tacoma, Wash., to the Soledad Prison in central California was a philosophical time that gave me the chance to reflect on the ramifications this crime has had on my family. This would be the first time that I would face Carmon’s killer. When he was sentenced for his crime, I was not informed by the L.A. District Attorney’s office that I had […]

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We’ve Just Found Out: Mom (or Dad) Has Alzheimer’s–Another Caregiver Begins the Journey

Posted on September 19, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

Recently, at a caregiver’s conference I started my talk about my caregiving journey, and that my mom had Alzheimer’s. A woman jumped up out of her seat, let out a cry, and ran out of the room. The director followed her out the door. Later, the director shared that the woman’s mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and this was the first event she had attended. This was the first time she was admitting to herself that her mother had Alzheimer’s. Alzheimer’s is a tough diagnosis. Many people hear the word and instantly get an image of their loved one […]

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When Things Go to Hell in a Handbasket — Coping with the Financial Aspects of Spouse Loss

Posted on September 17, 2008 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

For most of our 20 years of marriage, Steve very capably handled all the finances and paperwork for our household.   He brought his skills as an accountant and legal librarian to managing all of our accounts, organizing all of our paperwork and files, handling all the taxes and associated documentation, and making sure all the bills were paid on time each month. Like almost everything else he did, he made it seem effortless.   I remember breezily watching him zip his way around Quicken, and always pretended to be interested when he’d show me the latest budget he’d created, […]

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The Benefits of Laughter–A Caregiver’s Greatest Ally

Posted on September 17, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

My mom may have had Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and a heart condition, but she could still say and do the craziest things. It’s okay to laugh. We have to. If we don’t, we’ll just dissolve into a puddle on the floor. Why is laughter so good for you? “The old saying that ‘laughter is the best medicine,’ definitely appears to be true when it comes to protecting your heart,” says Michael Miller, M.D., F.A.C.C., director of the Center for Preventive Cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center. “We don’t know yet why laughing protects the heart, but we know that […]

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“A Tsunami”: Suicidal Crisis Up Close

Posted on September 17, 2008 - by DeQuincy Lezine

By DeQuincy Lezine — (Editor’s note: Dr. Lezine attempted suicide during college, then turned his personal despair into advocacy by forming the first student-led college mental health and suicide prevention group. Here is the story of his suicidal crisis.) Normally I tell people that you don’t just wake up one day and say, “Hey, I’m suicidal today.” No one moment, no single event, is enough by itself to create a suicidal crisis. Instead, multiple events or situations, known as risk factors, combine to increase the chances that a person will consider and attempt suicide. But one of the paradoxes of […]

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I Feel Like I’m Going Crazy! Mom/Dad Acted Fine at the Doctor’s Office

Posted on September 17, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

How can a person who doesn’t remember their own son or daughter, keeps their purse in the freezer and thinks that trees are talking to them act completely normal in front of a stranger? It’s called social convention abilities, or social response abilities, which means your loved one who you know has dementia/Alzheimer’s, can get their act ”together” in front of the doctor or some other person and talk or act fine. It can seem as if you’ve been tricked. Social convention means that all those years we’ve walked past someone and said, “Hello, how are you? I’m fine” are now hard-wired […]

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Loss of A Sibling

Posted on September 16, 2008 - by admin

by P. Gill White, PhD For many years I have denied the unusual experience that happened to me when my sister Linda was in the hospital just prior to her death from cancer at the age of 13.  I realize now that this was a significant part of my spiritual journey. She had been in the hospital for nearly 4 months.  One night, I was asleep at home when I heard her softly calling my name….”Pat….Pa-a-a-t” –over and over.  I woke up and looked around.  The room was dark but a little light came in from the streetlights outside.  I […]

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Mom Remembers a Son Who Died Too Young

Posted on September 15, 2008 - by Debra Reagan

By Debra Reagan — Everyone was so excited when Clint came into our lives that beautiful day in May. While we were at the hospital the day he was born, the contractor began work on our new home. We were a young family with many hopes and dreams. Clint was a delightful child and made our family of four complete. He was very affectionate and loved the touch of those around him. Clint’s older brother, Blake, told every visitor, “He is our baby and you can’t take him with you.” As Clint grew from our baby to our little boy, […]

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When Does Touch Become Critical?

Posted on September 12, 2008 - by Abel Keogh

Writer and widow Elaine Williams examines the yearning for touch following the loss of a spouse due to death, divorce or physical separation. She’s trying to be patient, she writes, but some days are hard.

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I Think I’m Depressed: A Caregiver’s Deep-Dark Secret

Posted on September 11, 2008 - by Carol O'Dell

I’m Carol D. O’Dell, and I hope you’ll check out my book, Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir, available on Amazon I Think I’m Depressed– Have you had this thought but couldn’t say it out loud? Caregiver depression doesn’t always look like depression. That means it can go undiagnosed for a very long time. Caregivers can’t (or don’t) stop. They don’t lock themselves in darkened bedrooms for days on end. They don’t necessarily cry or stop eating. They keep on caring for their loved ones. They suffer in silence. So, what does caregiver depression look like? It can be […]

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