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Yoga This Morning

Posted on February 6, 2008 - by admin

I am still struggling this morning to shake the reality of the world. The morning’s unscripted and unexpected comments from innocent bystanders shake my wobbly legs on this chillier February morning as I am undressing for yoga class….it is not even 7 AM! As I peel the layers of outerwear off my own body, remove my shoes and start to go into the cave, next to me is this woman — happy spirit, normal based on appearances — she is smiling broadly. She has no idea my only son is dead. She is one of these faces I see in […]

Learn the Biggest Lesson Grief and Loss Offers

Posted on January 29, 2008 - by admin

The death of a loved one and the grief that follows teach many lessons. Perhaps the most important one is that pain is the sign to take a new road in life. This is a double barreled lesson. First, we often have to decide to do some things we have not thought of previously or ever attempted before. And secondly, of equal importance, the key to advancement into our new world (that is, our adaptation to the loss) is the necessity to take action. Accepting the new and taking action are crucial learnings; they are also difficult to embrace. New […]

Finding Hope After the Death of a Child

Posted on January 17, 2008 - by Harriet Hodgson

By Harriet Hodgson I am still in shock at the death of my daughter, the 45-year-old mother of twins. The shock of her death in a car crash will be with me forever. Fortunately, I am blessed to have twin grandchildren and my new mission in life is caring for them. My husband and I share this mission. I know my grandchildren and they know me. They know I love them, will care for them, and keep my promises. Though they are living with their father my mind is filled with parenting thoughts about them. Do you have enough lunch money? […]

Poem: We Hardly Got To Know You

Posted on January 15, 2008 - by admin

My Great Grand daughter Raimey Elizabeth Cantrell-Rider, born June 21, 2007, died Dec 31, 2007. I wrote this poem for her and her family. We hardly got to know you before you passed away. You were so sweet and beautiful, As dear as dear can be. We hardly got to know you before you left this world. Wait! Come back! We’re really not ready to say goodbye. We hardly got to know you before your very last breath. We were so looking forward to knowing you, and watching you grow and change. We hardly got to know you before you […]

Poem: Cenos

Posted on January 8, 2008 - by admin

I will name this thing we are not made for This thing that has happened to some, that we never expected, that we blame ourselves for, more that we should. We sit next to you on the bus, talk to you at work or in line You might never know, we cloak it well Unless you catch us crushed, Pulled over past impromptu roadside flowers, blown away After radio news of yet another soldier gone, wretched In the hospital on deaths, anniversaries, hollowed out Avoiding baby showers and pregnant women. Sobbing We are not made for our children to die […]

My Youngest Son Died in an Accident

Posted on January 6, 2008 - by admin

Dear Dr. Gloria, My youngest son Nathan, just 20 years old died in a car accident on my husband’s birthday, July 7th, 2007. He took a curve too fast on July 4th at 3:30 am, the same curve he had taken 100 times before. He was not not wearing a seat belt, he was ejected from the car window. He landed in a grassy meadow in a remote area and it took emergency response a while to locate him. His car rolled end on end, but the inside of the car was unharmed, he would have lived if he had […]

Poem: Why Did You Come, 2008?

Posted on January 4, 2008 - by admin

Why did you come two thousand and eight? And why is everyone happy and feeling so great? If your intention is to bring me joy, then it is too late Since you have already determined my fate I cannot welcome another new year Without having my beloved daughter near It is amazing how everyone else is joyful and wants to cheer I guess many among them have not yet lost someone so dear! “Why are you so sad on this day?” I am asked “Does it coincide with the day your daughter passed?” Gone should be the days that you […]

Poem: Thank You, Friend

Posted on December 29, 2007 - by admin

Thank you friend for always being there for me And seeing what I saw and did not see I am blessed to have you by my side At good times, bad times, and when I lost my child You have accepted the person I became And realized that your friend can not be the same! Friend, you have never asked me to change And never considered any of my behaviors strange You have decided to walk with me at my pace And understood that no one can take Samar’s place You respected my daily sorrow and tears And appreciated my […]

Does the Work of Grief Ever Really End?

Posted on December 27, 2007 - by admin

Are you wondering if the pain will ever cease, if the emptiness will ever leave? Will life ever have meaning again? You may not think so now, but the answer to all three questions is an unqualified yes. And there are millions of people who can vouch for that fact. But that does not mean you will be your old self once again. Nor does it imply that you will be somehow totally free from the anxiety of your loss experience. There are a constellation of variables that determine the intensity and the length of grief. They range from the […]

Holidays and Grief Series: The Death of an In-Law

Posted on December 11, 2007 - by admin

Note from Dr. Gloria: I wrote the following article with grief and in-laws in mind; however, there is some important information for all bereavement. We know that the Holidays are a difficult time for all of you. Take care of yourself. Write for the blog. Comment on others articles. Eat healthy foods, avoid alcohol. Ask others for help. Let friends decorate your tree. Exercise even if it is only walking around the block. Listen to our radio program and take strength from our wonderful guests. The greatest gift you can give yourself and those who love you, including the ones […]