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How Holidays Have Changed Since My Daughter Died

Posted on November 16, 2022 - by Brian Smith

This Christmas will be the eighth Christmas since my daughter Shayna passed away at the age of just fifteen years old. While Shayna was (and is) special in many ways, she was a typical kid because she loved Christmas. In our family, the holidays and birthdays were all bundled together. Our wedding anniversary was in early November, followed closely by my older daughter’s birthday in late November, Thanksgiving, Christmas, then Shayna’s birthday in early January. She couldn’t get enough of the late fall and early winter celebrations. When Shayna passed away, it changed everything about our lives. Holidays and birthdays […]

Longing for Normal Holiday Season

Posted on November 16, 2022 - by Nina Impala

Longing for Normal Recently, I was reading a book about longing, and it stirred up a lot of feelings. What does longing mean to you? At this time of year when we are headed straight for the holiday season, there is so much I long for. I long to see my mom and dad sitting at the table with us. I long for Mom’s amazing holiday food, cooking together, her laughter, her sharing time with my granddaughter. Mom, I wish you could see her, get hugs and kisses from my little angel. Longing is a quiet sadness that we feel, […]

Mother Responds to Gun Violence

Posted on November 13, 2022 - by Lois Schaffer

Mother Responds to Gun Violence The following is excerpted from From Bullet to Bullhorn: Stories of Advocacy Activism and Hope, by Lois Schaffer, a compilation of stories by 18 people located in various states throughout the U.S. These stories are indicative of human resilience, turning tragedies into advocacy, activism and the preservation of life and justice. Mary Hennings, St. Louis, Missouri, speaks about how she survived gun violence. She was shot herself, and has lost two sons to gun violence. I have a strong belief in God. Taking lives that God created and devastating families, some dying from broken hearts […]

Grieving While Black: Everyday Grief

Posted on November 11, 2022 - by Breeshia Wade

Grieving While Black Often when people imagine what it means for Black lives to matter, they focus on the explicit death of Black people, like those caused by police violence. But Black people don’t just face death at the barrel of a policeman’s gun. Life is taken from us on a daily basis, through housing discrimination; through the inability to get or maintain a job that allows us to pay rent, have health insurance, and buy food; and through under-compensation. After spending years working in environments that were toxic, at best, I found a company where I felt I could […]

When Grief Takes Your Holiday

Posted on November 8, 2022 - by Mary Joye

We all know what life was like before grief set in and took over every thought. We anticipated holidays with excitement and found wonder in every moment from buying gifts, to wrapping them and watching loved ones open them, it was magic. That kind of anticipation was joyous, and we reveled in the lead-up to the holiday and looked forward to celebrating. It is a very different kind of anticipation when loved ones have passed. The holiday anticipation is not buoyant and bright, but heavy and dark. Dread sets in and decorations are not hung, feasts are not prepared, and […]

Navigating Grief in the NICU

Posted on November 6, 2022 - by Breeshia Wade

Grief in the NICU I remember my first day on the NICU like it was yesterday. I walked the floors filled with so much self-doubt and fear, afraid to make a practice of people’s lives and to perhaps cause irreparable harm that they would spend years, maybe even a lifetime, trying to undo. Holding the current census in my hand, I looked for the patients who had been there longest in order to determine who would need a visit soon. Then I stopped by the nurse’s station to get their assessment of the patients. When I introduced myself as the […]

Pregnant After Your Mother Has Died

Posted on November 3, 2022 - by Stedman Stevens

Pregnant with First Child You are becoming a mom. After months of trying, suddenly there is news. You are pregnant. After your husband, who is the first person you want to tell? Your mother. But what if she has died? Such was the case when my adult daughter Charlotte became pregnant with her first child. She wanted to share the new journey with her mother. But her mother — my wife — had died 17 years before. Charlotte had already experienced so much pain from her mom’s early death: the “Sweet 16” celebration without Mom, high school graduation, college graduation, […]

Stay Connected with Others While Grieving

Posted on November 1, 2022 - by Peggy Bell

Wired for Connections We as humans, are social beings. We are wired for connections with other human beings. Connecting with others gives us purpose and meaning to our lives. When we genuinely connect with others, we form deep bonds and trust with those individuals. We feel seen, heard, and valued. The “reward center” in our brain lights up when we make those connections because we are doing what we are wired to do. When people are grieving, however, they many times tend to isolate themselves from the outside world. They want to be left alone, sometimes just to wrap their […]

What Comes Next After Death?

Posted on October 31, 2022 - by Greg Adams

The Next Place? Sometimes in grief support groups for adults or for teenagers, a question like this will be asked: “When you think about your special person who died, where do you imagine them to be, if anywhere? What comes next?” As you might guess, the answers are varied. Some say heaven or with God. Others say “somewhere” but are not sure where. And some don’t imagine their dead to be anywhere. In the group, we try to make safe space for people to have different feelings in their grief, different opinions about what is helpful and what is not, […]

When the Pregnancy Test Looks Bad

Posted on October 30, 2022 - by Ken Lefkowitz

The Pregnancy Test Looks Bad “The baby may be developing the same thing that caused our first baby’s death,” I informed my mother in a broken voice. My face was covered by a wet film of sweat. I was ashen underneath. When the words left my lips, my mouth swelled. I breathed heavily and erratically. I felt like my heart had stopped beating. My mother fell into the couch, slumped over. She looked at the floor and clutched her breast like someone who had been shot by an assassin. There was no blood, but she was drenched in horror. The […]