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Grief Loves Company: After a Sibling-Loss

Posted on January 15, 2023 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

Losing a Sibling is Unique Losing a sibling is different from other losses. At times I find myself becoming extremely nostalgic, and it is difficult not having a cohort with whom to share childhood memories. On some level, we know and expect that our older relatives will leave us eventually. However, our brothers and sisters are the connection between the child we were and the adult we become. They know the good and the not-so-good details about us, and if we are lucky, they love us anyway. They are part of our childhood frame of reference. Losing them hurts any […]

Sibling Survivors Need Connection

Posted on January 12, 2023 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

Being a sibling survivor can make one feel like an alien at times. There may be a classroom full of students who are dealing with a divorce at home. But chances are poor that others are coping with the death of a brother or sister. It is a relatively small club. That is a good thing of course, but it can force the remaining siblings to alienate themselves, which is not advantageous to a child. Through my writing, I hope to remind fellow survivors that others exist who have been in the same unenviable shoes and have managed to march […]

What Does Grief Look and Feel Like?

Posted on January 12, 2023 - by Ilana Estelle

Grief is different for each of us. One size does not fit all. How Grief Appears The appearance of grief is also different for everyone. Sometimes grief may appear as anger, physical pain, sleeplessness, fear, depression, hostility, or loneliness. While some of us may grieve and look inwards at what we’ve lost, others may look to blame; they may also look to question what they believe. Belief is very much interlinked with grief. Many people think that having a belief means their loved ones wouldn’t get sick and die, particularly true for people whose loved ones pass early. But good […]

How Widows Can Improve Their Self-Talk and Move Forward with Grief

Posted on January 10, 2023 - by Kim Murray

Self-Talk Matters Your internal dialogue and self-talk determine how you feel about yourself and how you act in the world. For widows, it’s especially important to understand how your self-talk promotes or prohibits healing after a spouse or partner dies. It’s not uncommon for widows to focus on negative thoughts because they’re overwhelmed with grief, realizing all the secondary losses that accompany the death of a spouse, and feeling the hopelessness of being suddenly solo. Widows often have lots of negative internal dialogue after their spouse or partner dies because death is devastating, and the self-talk in a widow’s brain […]

Final Vigil for Our Son: Organ Donation

Posted on January 7, 2023 - by Sherry Cassedy

Final Vigil for Our Son Three days after Timmy had left his body, Matt and I were again at his bedside, waiting to say goodbye to our son’s body, to walk him to the operating room. It sounded so civilized, sterile, and healing. But no, this surgery would remove his vital organs, place them in containers to be preserved. They would then be transported to various other ORs, where doctors waited to transplant them into other patients’ bodies. We weren’t thinking of that reality as we stood vigil at his bedside, watching him seemingly sleeping. We walked the gurney down […]

Coping with the Down Days

Posted on January 5, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

Coping With the Down Days The year after my husband John died, my grief brain was at its peak. I wanted to give my brain a rest, but I couldn’t do that. There were dozens of tasks on my to-do list, and progress ranged from slow to nil. Recovering from grief brain was a slow process that came in spurts. I never slipped into classical depression, thank goodness. My brain struggled to adapt to the loss of my beloved John and the onset of more grief. I often felt “down” and wondered if I really was getting depressed. Clinical depression […]

Letter to a Dear Pet: One Year After Her Death

Posted on January 5, 2023 - by Veronica Crawford

Letter to a Dear Pet Dear Blaze, my spirited and loyal friend. It has been twelve months since you transitioned. Just twelve months, yet it feels like a lifetime ago. Your empty bed still sits on the floor, the coat you would wear when you went for a walk to keep you warm in the cooler months is still draped over the chair. Your medication is still in the kitchen drawer. I am still not ready to put away your belongings; I would have to fully accept you aren’t coming back. Your life before coming to live with us was […]

Dear Max: Last Words to a Special Dog

Posted on January 3, 2023 - by Veronica Crawford

Dear Max – AKA squishy, macchiato, mackie, snowy, little man, maximus and monkey. I miss you so much. So much that it hurts to think about it. I haven’t fully processed losing you. The best I can do is grieve in small moments and then I shut my mind down to cope. You were my world for nineteen years. Your nose smudges (and Blaze’s) are still on the back glass door and windows, the two favourite spots where you kept a close eye on the world outside. My timber furniture still has chew marks in it as a reminder of […]

Christmas Alone is Different Kind of Christmas

Posted on December 18, 2022 - by Annah Elizabeth

Coping with Christmas Alone Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year, Neighbor. The twinkling lights, the glitter, the festive colors, and a human generosity that seems more prevalent at this time of year makes everything glow and sparkle. I enjoy every second of decorating my home’s outside decks and porches, nearly every room in my home, right down to topping off each gift with its own bows and baubles. I couldn’t image a Christmas alone. This holiday season is like none to come before, Neighbor. I find it quite poignant that my social media feed sent a […]

‘Our Marriage Would Hold Us’: Family after Child-Loss

Posted on December 17, 2022 - by Sherry Cassedy

Fog of Disbelief The morning after our son’s accident, my husband Matt and I sat with the neurosurgeon in a small reception room off the hospital trauma unit. He explained brain stem death and Timmy’s inability to recover. I was listening intently through a fog of disbelief. I needed to understand exactly what had happened to my son, grasping for any straw of hope. The doctor was taking great pains to answer all of our questions, wanting to provide some comfort. At some point, he stopped, nodded toward Matt, and quietly asked me, “Is he going to be okay?” I […]