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The Party: Accepting Bliss While Grieving

Posted on July 20, 2022 - by Larry Hirschhorn

If you have lost a child, you know: Despair stings unexpectedly. When you see a photo of your child out of the corner of your eye, or hear a song he liked, or notice that his eight-year-old looks just like him, you may feel shattered by his absence. Strangely, for me, as active and engaged as I am in everyday life, I have, at those moments, the fleeting thought that I would welcome death with a broken heart. I lost my Aaron in a boating accident on March 28, 2021. He was 42. Yet life offers blessings. My other son […]

After Losing Spouse, Be Aware of Online Deceivers

Posted on July 20, 2022 - by Peggy Bell

When you first lose your spouse, many feelings consume you. You may feel numb, fearful, hurt, crushed, angry, in disbelief, or broken. Maybe you feel a combination or even all of these. You aren’t thinking as clearly as you normally would. Sometimes you are left feeling vulnerable because you want your life to not be so painful. In doing so, you may let your guard down more than you normally would. It’s sad but also important to realize that not everyone is looking out for your wellbeing. If you decide to go on social media groups or to join other […]

How to Survive a Memorial Service by Eating All the Cookies

Posted on July 12, 2022 - by Sherry Walling

Dad Helped Plan His Memorial Service We had a memorial service for my dad. He helped plan the shindig. He picked the songs for the video slideshow, asked me to speak, and requested that his older sister, Kathy, co-lead the service. Dad requested that his grandsons play music. And he did not want a viewing. He wanted to be cremated. He had a hand in the whole thing. It was one of the strange gifts of cancer, the time to talk about the ending. Honestly, I’m sad that he wasn’t able to attend. I think he would have had a […]

Fear of Hoping is Obstacle to Grieving

Posted on July 11, 2022 - by Kelly Grosklags

Many people have a difficult relationship with the word hope. They have a fear of hoping. Someone asked me recently, “Does it take courage to hope?” The short answer is yes. Hope is a bittersweet word to many. They fear being that if they believe in something, they will be let down hard. Fear of hoping can act as an emotional protection of sorts. Yet hope is always available. I often hear statements like, “I am not sure if my hope is realistic?” I disagree; we need to allow our mind-body-spirit to experience hope, and not let our thoughts overwhelm […]

The Wisdom of Grief: Healing Through the Dark Emotions

Posted on July 11, 2022 - by Miriam Greenspan

The Wisdom of Grief It is said that when someone we love dies, a part of us dies too. In my experience, it is not a part but the whole—the self we’ve known is all at once shattered. This is how it was when Aaron gasped his last breath on the ICU. Holding his body in death, I was both a mother and not a mother. Expiring in my arms, he was set free, released from the prison of plastic tubes and electronic monitors that attached him to his life. For the first time since the moment of his birth, […]

When a Spouse Dies Suddenly: Two-Week Game Plan

Posted on July 8, 2022 - by Kristin Meekhof

When a Spouse Dies Suddenly What do you do when your spouse dies suddenly? First, contact medical or other authorities. Then call a friend, neighbor, or relative to be with you as soon as possible. As other loved ones arrive, have someone stay with you as much as possible. Call your doctor and advise him or her of your loss. You might need a prescription to calm your nerves and help you sleep. Making Funeral Arrangements If you and your spouse had preplanned funeral services, contact the funeral home or the memorial society. If not, decide on a memorial service […]

Mantras for Mourning: How to Coexist with Grief

Posted on June 29, 2022 - by Sara Striefel

Mantras for Mourning Two and a half years after my mother’s death, I still discover unexpected ways in which grief opens my heart. I am learning that grief, while painful and disorienting at times, can also offer opportunities for profound growth and fresh awareness. It still hurts, often. But I have chosen not to wall myself off when the ache bubbles up. The trick is learning how to coexist with grief so that I can continue to be present and heal. My family recently spent three glorious months on the beaches of Costa Rica. We explored and played and bathed in […]

Uvalde Murders Trigger Grief

Posted on June 27, 2022 - by Lo Anne Mayer

Uvalde Murders Trigger Grief Ever since our daughter died in 2005, I have experienced heartbreak each time I learn of other children who have died. My own awareness of the depth and breadth of grief links me to each person who has lost a child, whether that child is a policeman, a soldier, or an 8-year-old. I now know that grief is a wound that takes years to heal. The senseless killing of the children in Ulvade brings out the motherhood of all human beings. These murders trigger grief for so many. We want to cradle the children and hug […]

Helping Children After Mass Tragedies

Posted on June 20, 2022 - by Bob Baugher

Children Shocked by Mass Tragedies In 1963, it was the assassination of a president. In 1986, it was the explosion of the Space Shuttle witnessed by millions of children on TV. September 11, 2001, was the terrorist attack. For the past 20 years it has been school shootings, the most recent in Uvalde, Texas. Each of these shocking events thrusts our children into the face of death in a sudden and graphic way. Imagine that you are a ten-year-old child. Kids your age were killed as they innocently sat in their classroom. Many questions spring to your young mind: “Am […]

Remembering Dakota: Sibling Loss and Its Impacts

Posted on June 14, 2022 - by Skye Page

Brother Died Before I Was Born When was the first time I learned about death? I don’t remember a time when I didn’t know about it. Hi, I’m Skye, and I was born two years after my oldest brother, Dakota, died from medulloblastoma, a brain tumor. That’s right, my brother died before I was born. So it’s true when I say I was born understanding death. Most young people don’t have to deal with so much loss in their family. It’s had a huge impact on my life, causing pain but also giving me strength and understanding in the realm […]