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‘Surrendering in Hope’: Allowing Grief to Unfold

Posted on September 8, 2021 - by Paul Coleman

‘Surrendering in Hope’ There is a difference between giving up in despair —“I can’t do this anymore!”— and surrendering in hope —“I can’t do this anymore by myself.” Surrendering in hope is not giving up, it is looking up. It’s a willingness to ask for help. It is allowing what you cannot control to unfold in its own way and time. It is the recognition that the unseen world can support you in the seen world. When you are unwilling to tolerate unexpected events or ambiguity, you are not free. You are imprisoned by the need to know and the […]

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Transcend Grief

Posted on September 8, 2021 - by Paul Coleman

Higher Realms of Awareness Is it possible to transcend grief? All of your stressful emotions exist at the lower-self level of limited awareness: shame, despair, anger, hate, jealousy, guilt, anxiety, and fear. At the higher realms of self, we experience the deep and enduring emotional states of compassion, love, joy, forgiveness, gratitude, and peace. At a higher realm of awareness, you can still dearly love some who has died because true love endures. Transcend Grief True love transcends the physical. It transcends the ego. It transcends grief. True love even transcends time and space. Intellectually, you understand that the concept […]

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Get a Grief Buddy

Posted on September 8, 2021 - by Harriet Hodgson

Get a Grief Buddy Many grief books and articles say it’s important to tell your story. Indeed, telling your story is a forward step on the healing path. And one way to improve the odds of that happening: Get a grief buddy. Grieving people need to tell our stories so we can come to terms with reality. When we can tell our stories without sobbing, we are making progress. What are the benefits of telling our stories? According to the Grief Recovery Center website, telling our stories helps us to become familiar with the stages of grief, find support, and […]

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Make Peace with Loss

Posted on August 30, 2021 - by Paul Coleman

What is a peaceful heart?  To make peace with loss you must cultivate peace in your heart. This is a challenge when your heart is broken. But it is achievable. We are meant to make peace with loss. A peaceful heart: 1.      Seeks simplicity, where life is not driven by either deprivation or accumulation. 2.      Lets go of anxieties and false beliefs that we cling to as life preservers but that are actually fear preservers. 3.      Knows that the things let go will cost little, that peace is incompatible with a need to cling. 4.      Looks within itself, without judgment. […]

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Finding Peace of Heart

Posted on August 29, 2021 - by Paul Coleman

We often make the mistake of attributing our lack of peace of heart to conditions out of our control—a world in turmoil, a relationship that has ended, or a hope thwarted. But peace of heart is an inside job. It happens within regardless of what is happening without. The heroic heart cultivates gratitude even in the midst of suffering. It finds glory in the inglorious, beauty in the less than beautiful. It accepts life’s ups and downs, heartaches, disappointments, and inevitable losses. Inner peace is not just “feeling better,” but a deep sense of lasting contentment. It is a sweet […]

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Every Person Has the Right to Grieve

Posted on August 29, 2021 - by Amy K.L. Busch

Every Person Has the Right to Grieve The title of one’s relationship does not dictate the depth of one’s grief.  Each and every person has a right to grieve and receive the support they need, regardless of the relationship to the person deceased. Six months after my brother Dan died, I attended a theatre performance.  Some of Dan’s fellow performers, people whom I had watched him perform with on the exact same stage, were performing in a humorous, almost goofy show.  Despite my volatile emotions, as I watched them do the very thing my little brother loved so much, I […]

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Emotional Grief Lessons

Posted on August 27, 2021 - by Amy K.L. Busch

Emotional Grief Lessons Through my rollercoaster of emotions, I have learned a number of emotional grief lessons: 1. Grief can be surprising in its breadth of emotions.  I have learned this is normal.  Some people cry. Some people laugh. Others lash out while still others retreat. Sometimes many emotions hit all at once, and it is difficult to sort them out.  Sometimes numbness prevails, and there is no emotion at all.  In my experience, the best way to deal with the emotions has been to greet them as they come, and then to invite them to sit with me awhile. […]

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Sibling Loss: Losing Part of Myself

Posted on August 26, 2021 - by Amy K.L. Busch

Losing Part of Myself It goes without saying that sadness and despair have been part of my grief journey.  Losing a sibling is so jarring.  When Dan died, I lost not only my brother, but a part of my past, my present, and our future together.  I was also losing part of myself and my identity in the world.   Since he was my only sibling, Dan was the only person who could corroborate what it was like growing up in our home.  In past years, I would frequently reach out to Dan to reminisce or to confirm my memory about […]

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Every Person Has the Right to Grieve

Posted on August 25, 2021 - by Amy K.L. Busch

Every Person Has the Right to Grieve The title of one’s relationship does not dictate the depth of one’s grief.  Each and every person has a right to grieve and receive the support they need, regardless of the relationship to the person deceased. Six months after my brother Dan died, I attended a theatre performance.  Some of Dan’s fellow performers, people whom I had watched him perform with on the exact same stage, were performing in a humorous, almost goofy show.  Despite my volatile emotions, as I watched them do the very thing my little brother loved so much, I […]

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How to Help a Dying Spouse

Posted on August 8, 2021 - by Fred Colby

How Can We Help a Dying Spouse? There are so many ways to help a dying spouse. When my wife, Theresa, was in the hospital, one incident made me realize that little things can make a difference. One day, a masseuse came to Theresa’s hospital room and offered to give her a massage. She accepted the offer, even though she wasn’t inclined towards massages. She really enjoyed it and felt much better. The next day the masseuse came in and made the same offer. My wife was not feeling up to it. The masseuse then turned to me and offered […]

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