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Practice Self-Compassion When Grieving

Posted on May 1, 2021 - by Judy Lipson

Why is grief still such an uncomfortable word for so many? It is a conversation that makes some people cringe. They do not have the tools to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t understand, please enlighten me.” I hope that by initiating more openness and discussions, the pattern will change. My message to others is practice self-compassion when grieving. For me, the path took thirty years to mourn my beloved sisters Margie and Jane. When ready to commence, break down the walls, an entire breadth and depth of my life ensued. There will always be a hole in my heart, but […]

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Tips for Dealing with a Spouse’s Belongings

Posted on May 1, 2021 - by Peggy Bell

A difficult task to tackle after losing your spouse is dealing with the spouse’s belongings: what to keep and what to give away. It is such an emotional decision. You may have feelings of guilt and sadness that are overwhelming.  Even though they are no longer with us, you may feel that you are intruding on their privacy by going though their personal belongings. Remember grief has no timeline and neither does this task. Do not feel pressured into doing something you do not feel ready to do. If you are pressured into it by others then you may also […]

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Writing Your Grief Can Create New Life

Posted on May 1, 2021 - by Harriet Hodgson

Deb Kosmer, a bereaved parent, author, poet, health care professional, and blogger, entered a post on Facebook about the practice of writing through grief. She said letters make words, words make sentences, sentences make pages, pages make chapters, and chapters make books. I think one more line is needed: “Words create a new life.” Experience made me add this line. Four family members died in 2007, including my daughter, the mother of my twin grandchildren. Each loss was painful, but my daughter’s death was the most painful. I didn’t think I would survive. Turning to Writing Because I’m a writer, […]

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Transform Grief into Purpose

Posted on April 21, 2021 - by Claire Willis

Devoting to a Cause We’ve all heard of courageous people who after experiencing a painful loss, transform their suffering into passion, purpose, and community. The word passion derives from the Latin passus, meaning to suffer. Guided by a desire to transform grief, they devote themselves to a cause larger than themselves. A woman whose daughter was killed by a drunk driver started a group called Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD). The parents of Matthew Shepherd, who was brutally murdered for being gay, became strong advocates for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning and or queer (LGBTQ) rights and helped pass a federal […]

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Discovering Lifelines While Grieving

Posted on April 20, 2021 - by Faith Wilcox

Lifelines can rescue you after the death of a loved one. I understand this firsthand. Why? Because my thirteen-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, was treated for one year for a rare pediatric bone cancer, and despite her valiant battle, she died in my arms 365 days after her diagnosis. After Elizabeth’s death, I nearly drowned in grief. My first lifeline was tossed out to me by family and friends. They held me, comforted me, brought me meals, and sometimes simply sat by my side listening to my keening cries. They drove me to appointments when I was too weak to drive, walked […]

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Grief Can Take Our Breath Away. Bring Yours Back.

Posted on April 20, 2021 - by Sheena Nancy Sarles

Our grief literally takes our breath away. We weep so hard that we cannot breath.  We meet the shock of our loss with a gasp, a gap in our breathing. A lump in our throat blocks our natural rhythm. Our breath is our voluntary and involuntary link to life itself. It is what keeps us alive, and the loss of breath is what takes our loved one away.  Our ever-present breath can help us to navigate this difficult journey of grief and mourning. Grief is our immediate response to our deep loss. Mourning is our ongoing and endless process of […]

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Our Aching Earth: When We Grieve About Our Natural World

Posted on April 20, 2021 - by Claire Willis

Species are Threatened We don’t have to look far to read or hear about the devastating events that are happening in the world around us. Everybody knows this on some level and perhaps deep in their bones. Our seas are rising. Our ancient rain forests are being pillaged for oil, grazing and all kinds of other purposes. Bee populations are dying. Whales are beaching themselves, from having become entangled with fishing nets and colliding with ships. Fracking is causing earthquakes. The UN Report on Climate Change reports that 1 million species are threatened with extinction. (1) Parts of our country […]

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Finding Your Way From Loss to Peace

Posted on March 31, 2021 - by Claire Willis

The ending of this “story” is happy…. There is joy to be found in realizing that long-held, shame-filled, buried grief, however painful, can be uncovered, looked at, handled tenderly, shared, and brought into the light for healing. It’s never too late. —Hannah, age 80, writing about a deep and painful secret. Secret Grief from Early in Life A friend recently asked me if I would help create a service of remembrance to help her 80-year old mother, Hannah, heal a secret grief she had carried for 60 years. Hannah told me that she became pregnant at 19 and contracted German […]

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Begin Grieving With Kindness to Yourself

Posted on March 31, 2021 - by Claire Willis

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” ~ His Holiness the Dalai Lama Offer Yourself Great Kindness No one can say or hear this enough: The weeks, months, and years after a loss that shakes your bones are a time to offer yourself great kindness. It’s the best gift you can give yourself. And as it turns out, it’s the best gift you can give those you love and all living beings. How is this possible? What does it mean to be kind to yourself, to take your own side, to befriend yourself? Think about how you would reach […]

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Crisis is a Chance to Address the Big Questions in Life

Posted on March 31, 2021 - by Brian Smith

“Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” These are the big questions of life. We call these existential questions because, without the answers, we suffer from an existential crisis. We think of a crisis as a bad thing, as something to be avoided. But, the origin of the word crisis is the Greek words krisis” and “krino,” ancient Greek words meaning “to decide” and “turning point.” A crisis can be an opportunity. The Problem I believe the biggest problem facing humanity today is that we have forgotten who we are and why we are here. For most of our […]

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