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The Pros and Cons of Emotional Shields

Posted on May 21, 2021 - by Greg Adams

‘Shields Up!’ What if the emotional shields we use to protect ourselves from pain get stuck in the upright position? What happens then? Can we get them unstuck? Is lowering our shields even a good idea? In the popular TV and movie series, Star Trek, from the 1960s to today, one of the consistent features in the starships used to travel the vastness of space is that they have invisible shields. When a starship is under attack, the captain orders, “Shields up!” to protect both ship and crew. The shields are not perfect protection, however, and part of the drama […]

Music Can Help Us Grieve

Posted on May 2, 2021 - by Judy Lipson

Music is Healing and Meaningful Music has always enriched my life, shared with my beloved sisters, Margie and Jane. As girls, we loved attending Broadway musicals. We listened to the recordings beforehand and sang the songs in our head as the actors performed on stage. Some of our favorites included The Sound of Music, Funny Girl, and Fiddler on the Roof. Now, this same music helps me grieve. I realize that because, when I moved to downtown Boston, my collection of old records left in the basement for nineteen years was intact, along with my sisters’ records. I was astounded […]

Practice Self-Compassion When Grieving

Posted on May 1, 2021 - by Judy Lipson

Why is grief still such an uncomfortable word for so many? It is a conversation that makes some people cringe. They do not have the tools to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t understand, please enlighten me.” I hope that by initiating more openness and discussions, the pattern will change. My message to others is practice self-compassion when grieving. For me, the path took thirty years to mourn my beloved sisters Margie and Jane. When ready to commence, break down the walls, an entire breadth and depth of my life ensued. There will always be a hole in my heart, but […]

Tips for Dealing with a Spouse’s Belongings

Posted on May 1, 2021 - by Peggy Bell

A difficult task to tackle after losing your spouse is dealing with the spouse’s belongings: what to keep and what to give away. It is such an emotional decision. You may have feelings of guilt and sadness that are overwhelming. Even though they are no longer with us, you may feel that you are intruding on their privacy by going though their personal belongings. Remember grief has no timeline and neither does this task. Do not feel pressured into doing something you do not feel ready to do. If you are pressured into it by others then you may also […]

Writing Your Grief Can Create New Life

Posted on May 1, 2021 - by Harriet Hodgson

Deb Kosmer, a bereaved parent, author, poet, health care professional, and blogger, entered a post on Facebook about the practice of writing through grief. She said letters make words, words make sentences, sentences make pages, pages make chapters, and chapters make books. I think one more line is needed: “Words create a new life.” Experience made me add this line. Four family members died in 2007, including my daughter, the mother of my twin grandchildren. Each loss was painful, but my daughter’s death was the most painful. I didn’t think I would survive. Turning to Writing Because I’m a writer, […]

Transform Grief into Purpose

Posted on April 21, 2021 - by Claire Willis

Devoting to a Cause We’ve all heard of courageous people who after experiencing a painful loss, transform their suffering into passion, purpose, and community. The word passion derives from the Latin passus, meaning to suffer. Guided by a desire to transform grief, they devote themselves to a cause larger than themselves. A woman whose daughter was killed by a drunk driver started a group called Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD). The parents of Matthew Shepherd, who was brutally murdered for being gay, became strong advocates for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning and or queer (LGBTQ) rights and helped pass a federal […]

Discovering Lifelines While Grieving

Posted on April 20, 2021 - by Faith Wilcox

Lifelines can rescue you after the death of a loved one. I understand this firsthand. Why? Because my thirteen-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, was treated for one year for a rare pediatric bone cancer, and despite her valiant battle, she died in my arms 365 days after her diagnosis. After Elizabeth’s death, I nearly drowned in grief. My first lifeline was tossed out to me by family and friends. They held me, comforted me, brought me meals, and sometimes simply sat by my side listening to my keening cries. They drove me to appointments when I was too weak to drive, walked […]

Grief Can Take Our Breath Away. Bring Yours Back.

Posted on April 20, 2021 - by Sheena Nancy Sarles

Our grief literally takes our breath away. We weep so hard that we cannot breath. We meet the shock of our loss with a gasp, a gap in our breathing. A lump in our throat blocks our natural rhythm. Our breath is our voluntary and involuntary link to life itself. It is what keeps us alive, and the loss of breath is what takes our loved one away. Our ever-present breath can help us to navigate this difficult journey of grief and mourning. Grief is our immediate response to our deep loss. Mourning is our ongoing and endless process of […]

Our Aching Earth: When We Grieve About Our Natural World

Posted on April 20, 2021 - by Claire Willis

Species are Threatened We don’t have to look far to read or hear about the devastating events that are happening in the world around us. Everybody knows this on some level and perhaps deep in their bones. Our seas are rising. Our ancient rain forests are being pillaged for oil, grazing and all kinds of other purposes. Bee populations are dying. Whales are beaching themselves, from having become entangled with fishing nets and colliding with ships. Fracking is causing earthquakes. The UN Report on Climate Change reports that 1 million species are threatened with extinction. (1) Parts of our country […]

Finding Your Way From Loss to Peace

Posted on March 31, 2021 - by Claire Willis

The ending of this “story” is happy…. There is joy to be found in realizing that long-held, shame-filled, buried grief, however painful, can be uncovered, looked at, handled tenderly, shared, and brought into the light for healing. It’s never too late. —Hannah, age 80, writing about a deep and painful secret. Secret Grief from Early in Life A friend recently asked me if I would help create a service of remembrance to help her 80-year old mother, Hannah, heal a secret grief she had carried for 60 years. Hannah told me that she became pregnant at 19 and contracted German […]