Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

A Son’s Belongings Bring Longings

Posted on March 19, 2021 - by Fran Gerstein

Since my son Daniel died on February 28, 2014, the month of February has been rife with memories, his ghost popping up seemingly at whim. His presence and absence coalesce, disorienting me. His winter jacket still hangs in our basement laundry room. It never made its way to Goodwill. Sometimes, as I’m doing the wash, it jumps out at me, causing me to momentarily think, “He must be okay if his jacket is still there. Why would a dead person own a jacket”? It’s the same with his eyeglasses. We never disposed of them even though the Prada frames could […]

Hope Is Our Anchor

Posted on March 17, 2021 - by Elaine Voci

Storm is Coming There once was an old sailor who had been seasoned by his life on the sea to know that storms were a frequent part of the world. Whenever he saw a storm coming, he would calmly lower the anchor, batten down the hatches, and go to bed for the night, knowing that the sea would be rough, but the anchor’s grasp would keep his boat safe. He knew it would be there in the morning. Like that sailor, we, too, have an “anchor” that can help us make it through the storms of our lives. It’s called […]

Working Remotely With Grief

Posted on March 16, 2021 - by R. Glenn Kelly

Angelica shared how she sat at the kitchen table with trembling hands as she gripped her laptop’s mouse. She was somewhat hesitant about clicking the “Join Meeting” button on her screen. The day before, however, she assured her HR Manager that she was ready to come back. They both agreed it was time. In one way, she was grateful for not having to confront her teammates in person. She was sure she was not ready for that. But was she actually ready for what she about to do? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, she clicked the button. As the virtual […]

Finding Hope After Spouse Loss

Posted on March 14, 2021 - by Gloria Horsley

Hard to believe it has been five months since my husband Phil, passed away of a staph infection post back surgery. Phil loved Open to Hope and all the wonderful people we have spent time with since the death of our son, Scott in 1983. As I like to say I have talked the talk of helping the bereaved find hope and now I am again walking the walk. You may wonder if being a part of the grief world has helped me during my loss and I would say a definite “yes”. I have learned a lot from our […]

What It’s Like When Your Newborn Dies

Posted on March 1, 2021 - by Ken Lefkowitz

The following is excerpted from the book, Weave of Destiny, by Ken Lefkowitz, published by Legacy Book Press. Available for sale at this link: Weave of Destiny – Legacy Book Press An Infant Labors “I’m Dr. Rice, and you are the father, I assume.” A tall, handsome man in a white lab coat extended his hand to me in a greeting. He had entered by the same doors through which Matthew’s bed had been taken. “Hi,” was all I could say, hoping that he would continue on. But the doctor then guided me through the doors to the Infant Intensive […]

Creating Your Own Ritual for a Loved One’s Death

Posted on February 16, 2021 - by Neil Chethik

Excerpted from FatherLoss, by Neil Chethik. FatherLoss is available here. After a loved one’s death, we don’t always have the opportunity to hold a funeral. Over the past year, for example, the pandemic has prevented or delayed thousands of funerals. This is the story of one man who could not have a timely funeral for his father. He had to find another way to honor his dad and get on with his life. Frank Hernandez was thirty-two years old when he took his father, who was suffering from emphysema, into his home for the last two-plus years of the older […]

Valentine’s Question: When Should I Start Dating Again?

Posted on February 11, 2021 - by Bob Baugher

Excerpt from the book Surviving Widowhood: Suggestions from Widowed People to You for Coping with the Death of Your Husband, Wife or Partner by Elaine Eggebraaten, John Hanson, Lori Keller, Tally R. Reynolds, Suzan Styer, Bob Baugher & Margarita Suarez. Available at Amazon. Making a Decision to Date or Not to Date For those of you early on in your grief, the word “dating” may seem a strange, perhaps even cruel term. You might be saying, “Why would I even consider dating someone when I still feel married? Why would I consider letting someone into my life when my life is so confusing right now?” […]

Cooking with Love: My First Valentine’s Day After My Husband’s Death

Posted on February 11, 2021 - by Linda Freudenberger

He Was a Chef My husband used to say, “I cook for a living, but you cook with love.” When our girls were 4 and 6, I decided to make a gourmet five course dinner to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but of course since he was a chef, he had to work on Valentine’s Day, and the fancy dinner was on a different night. The girls did not like the fancy new potatoes with sour cream and caviar that I prepared for the appetizer. They did not understand the concept of a meal served in segments or courses. They wanted to […]

After a Major Loss: So, Now What?

Posted on February 9, 2021 - by Greg Adams

Many questions compete for attention when death comes and life changes. Among the many, there is at least one question that stubbornly remains as the numbness fades and our awareness of what has happened increases. So, now what? Part of us knew this day was coming, but we tried not to think about it. Or at least not think about it all the time. Another part of us hoped for a miracle. Another part said, “Maybe they’re wrong.” Other parts took us to other places—other thoughts, other things to do, anything else. Who can live with every moment thinking of […]

Viewing the Body: Does it Help or Harm?

Posted on February 7, 2021 - by Neil Chethik

excerpted from FatherLoss, by Neil Chethik, available here. Should you view the body after a loved one’s death? Immediately after the father’s death, one important question for sons was whether or not to view the body. In my FatherLoss Survey, among sons eighteen to fifty-five at the time of the death, 85 percent said they viewed their father’s body before it was buried or cremated. And more than 75 percent of those men reported that seeing the body was helpful later in coping with the death. A disc jockey who was thirty-seven when his dad died told me the viewing […]