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‘Put Your Feet on the Floor’: After a Child-Loss

Posted on July 14, 2020 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

From When Every Day Matters: A Mother’s Memoir on Love, Loss and Life (Simple Abundance Press) on Amazon December 2, 1999 Dear Katie, Your dad and I are beginning again. We are at the beach for a few days. It’s cold but lovely. I continue to write in my journal. I am reaching for the pen, instead of self-pity. It’s a good thing. Love, Mom When someone you dearly love dies, you let yourself think that they are sleeping. When you take a nap or go to bed, your loss is asleep. When you wake up, the pain is […]

Anticipatory Grief: As the End Nears

Posted on July 11, 2020 - by Harriet Hodgson

Anticipatory grief—a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event—is a powerful mix of emotions. It is also a unique form of grief. Perhaps the most unusual aspect is sorrow mixed with hope. While you are grieving, you hope the doctor misdiagnosed your loved one’s illness or a miracle drug will suddenly appear. Hope is your lifeline, but for now, all you can do is wait. The waiting is hard and just keeps getting harder. Anticipatory grief follows you like a black storm cloud. If you feel this badly now, how will you feel after your loved one has […]

Fear at the Door, Rest Inside

Posted on July 8, 2020 - by Nathan Peterson

In the spring of 2012, I heard this word: “Rest.” I knew this word was important. I knew it held something of great value — something good for me. But I wasn’t even entirely sure what it was. Was it extra sleep? Was it not working on Sundays? Shortly after I heard this word, my life began to change. For one reason or another, one by one, the things with which I occupied myself were stripped away until I found myself with nothing left to hold. A year later, I was in a panic, wondering how we were going to […]

A Grieving Mother’s Bill of Rights

Posted on July 8, 2020 - by Harriet Hodgson

I have the right to lose track of conversations. I have the right to thank others for bad advice and ignore it. I have the right to put things in odd places, such as comb in the refrigerator. I have the right to lose things, even an egg. I have the right to read with poor or no comprehension. I have the right to get a driving buddy while overcome with grief. I have the right to burst into tears without warning. I have the right to dream about my child and awaken with tears on my face. I […]

The Gravity of Black Grief

Posted on July 8, 2020 - by Greg Adams

Let’s be clear right up front. For so many things in the grief and loss world, I just don’t get it. I have never been pregnant, felt the movement of arms and legs inside of me, and then felt the terrifying absence of movement. I have never had to tell my children that their mother is dead. Never have I had military personnel on my doorstep asking to come in to deliver bad news. I have never felt the horror and loss of sexual assault. I have not experienced the loss of family or friends when I “came out.” A […]

When Nothing Seems to Matter: Surviving the Death of Your Child

Posted on July 2, 2020 - by Basia Mosinski

This is an excerpt from LOST to FOUND: Surviving the Death of Your Child by Basia Mosinski, which is available at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1720222657 We cried and cried and cried. We were in shock. We were fearful. We were in disbelief. We asked questions. We became angry. We didn’t sleep and we were numb. We were jolted out of our ordinary lives of ‘normal’ expectation and predictability when our nightmare happened: our child…our loved one was taken from us by illness, or accident. They are gone through their own intention, by their hand or at the hand of someone else. The day our […]

What Kind of Courage Does Grief Require?

Posted on June 25, 2020 - by Elaine Voci

This is an excerpt from The Five Most Harmful Myths About Grief by Elaine Voci, Ph.D. which is available on Amazon.com In writing this booklet, my purpose is to contribute to the specific undoing of five common myths about grief that are untrue and create unnecessary pain, and impose psychological burdens on the bereaved. These myths are the foundation for much of the unsolicited bad advice that bereaved people receive. In my career and in my personal life I have experienced my share of grief, loss, and healing and I have worked in hospice with grieving families, and patients who […]

Who is the Lost Loved One? Us.

Posted on June 16, 2020 - by Basia Mosinski

This is an excerpt of LOST to FOUND: Surviving the Death of Your Child by Basia Mosinski, available at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1720222657 Often in grief circles we hear the term ‘loss’, as if our child or loved one is somehow ‘lost’ to us. The person who is LOST is us…the parents, stepparents, grandparents, siblings, wives or husbands, after our child or loved one has died. We’re lost, yet, if we open to the mysteries of the grief journey, we can build a new self from the shards.

‘Crazy’ Grief Dreams Often the Most Profound

Posted on June 9, 2020 - by Lois Schaffer

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life without them is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. — Langston Hughes. I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge – myth is more potent than history – dreams are more powerful than facts – hope always triumphs over experience – laughter is the cure for grief – love is stronger than death. — Robert Fulghum. Dreams reflect the essence of the innermost thoughts and feelings of the human soul. In some cases they seem to seem to involuntarily express deepened feelings after the death of a loved one. […]

Personal Growth and Trauma

Posted on June 8, 2020 - by Gloria Horsley

Trauma does create post-traumatic stress, but it also can lead to extraordinary personal growth. On today’s Facebook Live, Heidi and I explored this idea with Dr. Richard Tedeschi, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. He is also a licensed psychologist and helped originate the concept of post-traumatic growth (PTG), publishing many academic books and articles on the subject. Traumatic Times All of us go through trauma in our lives to varying degrees. It can be the loss of a loved one, a life-threatening illness, injury, or other issue that puts us in a place where […]