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Finding Your Way From Loss to Peace

Posted on March 31, 2021 - by Claire Willis

The ending of this “story” is happy…. There is joy to be found in realizing that long-held, shame-filled, buried grief, however painful, can be uncovered, looked at, handled tenderly, shared, and brought into the light for healing. It’s never too late. —Hannah, age 80, writing about a deep and painful secret. Secret Grief from Early in Life A friend recently asked me if I would help create a service of remembrance to help her 80-year old mother, Hannah, heal a secret grief she had carried for 60 years. Hannah told me that she became pregnant at 19 and contracted German […]

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Begin Grieving With Kindness to Yourself

Posted on March 31, 2021 - by Claire Willis

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” ~ His Holiness the Dalai Lama Offer Yourself Great Kindness No one can say or hear this enough: The weeks, months, and years after a loss that shakes your bones are a time to offer yourself great kindness. It’s the best gift you can give yourself. And as it turns out, it’s the best gift you can give those you love and all living beings. How is this possible? What does it mean to be kind to yourself, to take your own side, to befriend yourself? Think about how you would reach […]

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Crisis is a Chance to Address the Big Questions in Life

Posted on March 31, 2021 - by Brian Smith

“Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” These are the big questions of life. We call these existential questions because, without the answers, we suffer from an existential crisis. We think of a crisis as a bad thing, as something to be avoided. But, the origin of the word crisis is the Greek words krisis” and “krino,” ancient Greek words meaning “to decide” and “turning point.” A crisis can be an opportunity. The Problem I believe the biggest problem facing humanity today is that we have forgotten who we are and why we are here. For most of our […]

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A Son’s Belongings Bring Longings

Posted on March 19, 2021 - by Fran Gerstein

Since my son Daniel died on February 28, 2014, the month of February has been rife with memories, his ghost popping up seemingly at whim.  His presence and absence coalesce, disorienting me. His winter jacket still hangs in our basement laundry room.  It never made its way to Goodwill. Sometimes, as I’m doing the wash, it jumps out at me, causing me to momentarily think, “He must be okay if his jacket is still there. Why would a dead person own a jacket”? It’s the same with his eyeglasses. We never disposed of them even though the Prada frames could […]

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Hope Is Our Anchor

Posted on March 17, 2021 - by Elaine Voci

Storm is Coming There once was an old sailor who had been seasoned by his life on the sea to know that storms were a frequent part of the world.  Whenever he saw a storm coming, he would calmly lower the anchor, batten down the hatches, and go to bed for the night, knowing that the sea would be rough, but the anchor’s grasp would keep his boat safe.  He knew it would be there in the morning. Like that sailor, we, too, have an “anchor” that can help us make it through the storms of our lives.  It’s called […]

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Grief in the workplace

Working Remotely With Grief

Posted on March 16, 2021 - by R. Glenn Kelly

Angelica shared how she sat at the kitchen table with trembling hands as she gripped her laptop’s mouse. She was somewhat hesitant about clicking the “Join Meeting” button on her screen. The day before, however, she assured her HR Manager that she was ready to come back. They both agreed it was time. In one way, she was grateful for not having to confront her teammates in person. She was sure she was not ready for that. But was she actually ready for what she about to do? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, she clicked the button. As the virtual […]

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TCF Keynote

Finding Hope After Spouse Loss

Posted on March 14, 2021 - by Gloria Horsley

Hard to believe it has been five months since my husband Phil, passed away of a staph infection post back surgery.  Phil loved Open to Hope and all the wonderful people we have spent time with since the death of our son, Scott in 1983. As I like to say I have talked the talk of helping the bereaved find hope and now I am again walking the walk.  You may wonder if being a part of the grief world has helped me during my loss and I would say a definite “yes”.  I have learned a lot from our […]

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What It’s Like When Your Newborn Dies

Posted on March 1, 2021 - by Ken Lefkowitz

The following is excerpted from the book, Weave of Destiny, by Ken Lefkowitz, published by Legacy Book Press. Available for sale at this link: Weave of Destiny – Legacy Book Press An Infant Labors “I’m Dr. Rice, and you are the father, I assume.” A tall, handsome man in a white lab coat extended his hand to me in a greeting. He had entered by the same doors through which Matthew’s bed had been taken. “Hi,” was all I could say, hoping that he would continue on.  But the doctor then guided me through the doors to the Infant Intensive […]

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Creating Your Own Ritual for a Loved One’s Death

Posted on February 16, 2021 - by Neil Chethik

Excerpted from FatherLoss, by Neil Chethik. FatherLoss is available here. After a loved one’s death, we don’t always have the opportunity to hold a funeral. Over the past year, for example, the pandemic has prevented or delayed thousands of funerals. This is the story of one man who could not have a timely funeral for his father. He had to find another way to honor his dad and get on with his life. Frank Hernandez was thirty-two years old when he took his father, who was suffering from emphysema, into his home for the last two-plus years of the older […]

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Valentine’s Question: When Should I Start Dating Again?

Posted on February 11, 2021 - by Bob Baugher

Excerpt from the book Surviving Widowhood: Suggestions from Widowed People to You for Coping with the Death of Your Husband, Wife or Partner by Elaine Eggebraaten, John Hanson, Lori Keller, Tally R. Reynolds, Suzan Styer, Bob Baugher & Margarita Suarez. Available at Amazon. Making a Decision to Date or Not to Date For those of you early on in your grief, the word “dating” may seem a strange, perhaps even cruel term. You might be saying, “Why would I even consider dating someone when I still feel married? Why would I consider letting someone into my life when my life is so confusing right now?” […]

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