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Excerpt from ROCK ON: Blessings in the Lessons

Posted on September 21, 2020 - by Susan Casey

This is an excerpt from Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief, which is available https://www.amazon.com/Rock-Mining-River-Sibling-Grief/dp/1732888892/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2V353DVSRK5ZL&keywords=rock+on+mining+for+joy+in+the+deep+river+of+grief&qid=1576002958&sprefix=Rock+On%3A+Mining+for+%2Caps%2C155&sr=8-1 Chapter 10: Blessings in the Lessons Sisters Yvon Stokkink and Marissa Kerkdijk: interviewed in June 2015, Holland Mattijs Kerkdijk: 5/17/82-9/7/14 Cause of death: Suicide The day before his mother’s birthday, Mattijs received a text from his sister Yvon, who offered to pick him up the following day and bring him to his mother’s birthday party. My back is killing me, he texted back. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, and I hope you feel better, Yvon wrote. I […]

Anxiety Over Fading Memories

Posted on September 20, 2020 - by Bob Baugher

This is an excerpt from the book: Coping with Grief: A Guide for the Bereaved Survivor by Bob Baugher. You can order it at: www.bobbaugher.com One of the most anxiety-producing features of death is that we will somehow forget our loved one. We fear that, with the inevitable passage of time, the memories of our loved one will be lost like tiny drops in the ocean of thousands of memories. As the weeks and months turn to years our lives have become bombarded with new experiences and numerous distractions. Events and people have moved in and out of our […]

Excerpt from ROCK ON: Losing Anger

Posted on September 19, 2020 - by Susan Casey

This is an excerpt from Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief, which is available https://www.amazon.com/Rock-Mining-River-Sibling-Grief/dp/1732888892/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2V353DVSRK5ZL&keywords=rock+on+mining+for+joy+in+the+deep+river+of+grief&qid=1576002958&sprefix=Rock+On%3A+Mining+for+%2Caps%2C155&sr=8-1 Chapter 8: Losing Anger Jeneen Gallagher: interviewed in June 2015, Florida Ryan Gill: 7/25/79-3/30/13 Cause of death: Murder On a sun-drenched Saturday in Boynton Beach, Florida, thirty-three-year-old Ryan—a redheaded, blue-eyed ‘gentle giant’—had a bounce in his step as he finished his shift at a local restaurant. He popped into his apartment for a quick shower and a change of clothes and headed to the bar across the street to meet his co-worker for a bachelorette party. The bar was […]

Excerpt from ROCK ON: Be Brave

Posted on September 17, 2020 - by Susan Casey

This is an excerpt from Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief, which is available https://www.amazon.com/Rock-Mining-River-Sibling-Grief/dp/1732888892/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2V353DVSRK5ZL&keywords=rock+on+mining+for+joy+in+the+deep+river+of+grief&qid=1576002958&sprefix=Rock+On%3A+Mining+for+%2Caps%2C155&sr=8-1 Chapter 3: Be Brave Early Friday morning when I saw Kevin’s number on my phone, I said another silent prayer before I picked up his call. “Tell me some good news,” I said. “Sue, it’s not good.” I wanted to slap my hands over my ears and scream, “Please stop talking.” “Setiawan left the hospital, and the doctor called her and told her to come back. His blood pressure dropped, and he wasn’t breathing on his own,” Kevin said. […]

Excerpt from ROCK ON: The Stroke of Time

Posted on September 15, 2020 - by Susan Casey

This is an excerpt from Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief, which is available https://www.amazon.com/Rock-Mining-River-Sibling-Grief/dp/1732888892/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2V353DVSRK5ZL&keywords=rock+on+mining+for+joy+in+the+deep+river+of+grief&qid=1576002958&sprefix=Rock+On%3A+Mining+for+%2Caps%2C155&sr=8-1 Chapter 2: The Stroke of Time Rocky began to measure time by how many sleeps we had left before we’d see each other again. A week before he arrived in Maine in early December 2006, he instant messaged me on Skype and wrote, only seven more sleeps, Sis; only six more sleeps, Sis, until finally, it was only one more sleep till we’d see each other again. It would be his first trip home since his move to Bali […]

Exclusive: Excerpt from ROCK ON

Posted on September 13, 2020 - by Susan Casey

This is an excerpt from Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief, which is available https://www.amazon.com/Rock-Mining-River-Sibling-Grief/dp/1732888892/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2V353DVSRK5ZL&keywords=rock+on+mining+for+joy+in+the+deep+river+of+grief&qid=1576002958&sprefix=Rock+On%3A+Mining+for+%2Caps%2C155&sr=8-1 Chapter 1: Secret Keepers On a sub-zero winter night when I was sixteen years old, I snuck out of my bedroom window, climbed onto the garage roof, hung from the gutter, and jumped onto the picnic table piled high with snow. I scrambled over snowbanks to meet my girlfriend who waited for me, headlights turned off at the end of my street. I slid into the passenger side, blew warm breaths into numb hands, and said, “I hope we […]

Everyone Else is Carrying on with ‘Life as Usual’

Posted on September 13, 2020 - by Bob Baugher

This is an excerpt from the book: Coping with Grief: A Guide for the Bereaved Survivor by Bob Baugher. You can order it at: www.bobbaugher.com At this time in your life, the world looks different: Artificial Frightening Callous Indifferent Cold Insensitive Dreary Lonely Dull Uncaring You may find yourself surprised and hurt that, despite the fact that your life has totally changed, the rest of the world appears to operate just as it always has. Every day you see people going about their business as if nothing has changed. A common, but unexpressed feeling among bereaved people is […]

Embracing the Highs and Lows

Posted on September 9, 2020 - by Bunny Bennett

In facilitating small groups with sometimes noncommunicative teens, my wise colleague suggested beginning the session by asking each participant to share a high and a low. A high could include something going well, an accomplishment, an anticipated upcoming event, or anything positive, while a low could be something worrisome, circumstances that didn’t work out as planned, a disappointment, a traumatic event, etc. This activity works every single time like magic to get teens to open up! Sometimes, just discussing highs and lows could take a whole session and the participants always verbalized feeling better, supported, and connected, even when no […]

The Grieving Codependent

Posted on September 9, 2020 - by Mary Joye

Codependency is a term that gets tossed around a lot but few seem to know what it really means. Even those who suffer from it can be completely unaware it’s operating in their lives. Briefly defined, it is the loss of self, while caring for others. These are the selfless members of families and society who have a tendency to give until they give out and though they appear to be able to do anything, they can’t do everything. This is particularly true when experiencing grief. A codependent is often the one who is doing all the doing for the […]

Why Do I Feel So Guilty?

Posted on July 20, 2020 - by Catherine McNulty

In my humble opinion, western society drastically underestimates the magnitude of grief. Losing someone you love can be one of the most traumatic events many people will face. Death and grief are challenging in so many ways. If you are here because you are lost in grief, you know what I’m talking about. In my coaching practice, I set up weekly calls with those who are grieving. Feelings of intense guilt comes up for a lot of people. What I do is help them understand the emotion of guilt, where it comes from, and why it makes living with guilt […]