Our logical, analytical mind demands answers to tough questions. Chief among them is often “Why did this tragedy have to happen?”

When our pain is great and our loss profound, we go to our mind hoping to find comfort in answers that are not forthcoming. We might be able to answer a question in practical terms, such as, “He died because of a car accident,” but we don’t have an answer to the more cosmic “Why?” Will we ever get an answer? Do we need answers?

Our mind does need answers–at least it always wants to seek them out. But I believe that our spirit, or if you will–our higher self–does not need answers. Our higher self rests in those qualities such as love, gratitude, and faith. Sometimes with the passage of time we see evidence of some answers emerging.

But often, especially when the loss is tragic or horribly unfair, none of the “good that comes from bad” is a good enough reason for why the bad had to happen. I used to think that comments like, “It’s a mystery,” was lazy reasoning. But that was my mind talking, not my spirit. Fear-based coping strategies usually involve some sort of fighting, blaming, or withdrawing. Higher-self coping strategies involve integrating gratitude with loss, forgiveness with anger, trust with doubt.

A good place to begin accessing your higher self is to practice emotionally accepting your current reality that cannot be changed instead of resisting that reality. The more acceptance, the calmer the calmer the mind. The calmer the mind, the easier it is for higher-level spiritual guidance and insight to be detected.

Paul Coleman

Paul Coleman

Dr. Paul Coleman is a psychologist in private practice for over 25 years. He specializes in relationship issues, anxiety, trauma, and grief. He is the author of 12 books including "FINDING PEACE WHEN YOUR HEART IS IN PIECES" and has appeared nationally on shows such as OPRAH, TODAY, and GERALDO. He has been quoted in numerous magazines and has written chapters in books such as "All-in-One Marriage Prep" and the scholarly book "Exploring Forgiveness." Dr. Coleman has a special interest in metaphysics and the role of spirituality in the context of psychotherapy.. He conducts workshops on intuition and has studied mediumship with several world-renowned teachers. For fun, Paul enjoys stage-acting and has appeared in regional theater productions for the past 15 years. Favorite productions include THE SECRET GARDEN, 1776, NOISES OFF, LOST IN YONKERS, and PROOF. Paul also wrote the play THE FOOT SHOOTERS which had its off-off Broadway debut in May, 2011. Dr. Coleman is happily married for 30 years. He and his wife Jody have three grown children.

More Articles Written by Paul