Greg Adams

Greg Adams is a social worker at Arkansas Children's Hospital (ACH) where he coordinates the Center for Good Mourning, a grief support and outreach program, and works with bereavement support for staff who are exposed to suffering and loss. His past experience at ACH includes ten years in pediatric oncology and 9 years in pediatric palliative care. He has written for and edited The Mourning News, an electronic grief/loss newsletter, since its beginning in 2004. Greg is also an adjunct professor in the University of Arkansas-Little Rock Graduate School of Social Work where he teaches a grief/loss elective and students are told that while the class is elective, grief and loss are not. In 1985, Greg graduated from Baylor University majoring in social work and religion, and he earned a Masters in Social Work from the University of Missouri in 1986. One answer to the question of how he got into the work of grief and death education is that his father was an educator and his mother grew up in the residence part of a funeral home where her father was a funeral director. After growing up in a couple small towns in Missouri south of St. Louis, Greg has lived in Little Rock since 1987. He married a Little Rock native in 1986 and his wife is an early childhood special educator and consultant. Together they have two adult children. Along with his experience in the hospital with death and dying and with working with grieving people of all ages, personal experiences with death and loss have been very impacting and influential. In 1988, Greg’s father-in-law died of an unexpected suicide. In 1996, Greg and his wife lost a child in mid-pregnancy to anencephaly (no brain developed). Greg’s mother died on hospice with cancer in 2008 and his father died after the family decided to stop the ventilator after a devastating episode of sepsis and pneumonia in 2015. Greg has a variety of interests and activities—including slow running, reading, sports, public education, religion, politics, and diversity issues—and is active in his church and community. He is honored to have the opportunity to be a contributor for Open to Hope.

Articles:

No Freeway Between the Mind and the Heart

Sometimes I come upon a passage in a book that on its own feels worth the price of the book. Here is that passage in That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour by palliative care physician, Sunita Puri: “There is no freeway between the mind and the heart; a statement of medical facts didn’t lead easily to acceptance. Acceptance is a small, quiet room, Cheryl Strayed wrote in an essay that I read and reread somewhere around the start of fellowship.” No freeway between the mind and the heart. That feels so true. The mind takes in […]

The Gravity of Black Grief

Let’s be clear right up front. For so many things in the grief and loss world, I just don’t get it. I have never been pregnant, felt the movement of arms and legs inside of me, and then felt the terrifying absence of movement. I have never had to tell my children that their mother is dead. Never have I had military personnel on my doorstep asking to come in to deliver bad news. I have never felt the horror and loss of sexual assault. I have not experienced the loss of family or friends when I “came out.” A […]

Grief in the Absence of Physical Presence

Physical presence means so much. Phone calls are good. Video connections can be better. But there is nothing like experiencing physical presence with the potential or reality of a hand on the shoulder, a hand in another’s hand, and a body-to-body hug. But now we live in a strange and stressful time of necessary physical distancing with the COVID-19 pandemic. In these days and weeks (and months?) when we feel frightened and worried, the gifts and resources of presence are limited and restricted. We connect by phone, text, social media, and video—and thank goodness for these options—but we know they […]

No More ‘At Least…’

At least he didn’t have to suffer. At least you have other children. At least you still have your health. At least she’s in a better place. At least you can have other children. At least you had so many years together. At least you had the chance to say good-bye. (Take a deep breath—there’s more) At least you know where he is. At least it was so early in the pregnancy. At least you still have your friends and family. At least you have your faith. At least you’ve been through this before and know how it goes. At […]

No Outsourcing the ‘Why’ in Grief

We are possessed by words. We are wordy creatures. We talk, write, text, sing, shout, and whisper words…all the time. We ponder what we said, what they said, and what we should say next time, and we narrate our lives with our internal words. We have “inside” and “outside” words, and we hope we can keep them straight. When we think about it, we realize the lie in the childhood saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” How silly and how wrong. Words can become background noise, but they retain power. We remember […]

Celebrations of Life, Funerals, and the Need for Ritual

When I was growing up and someone died, we spent a lot of time at the funeral home. Between the ages of 10 and 12, both of my maternal grandparents died along with a maternal uncle. My memory is that for each there were two evenings of public visitation at the funeral home followed by a funeral on the third day. For each occasion, the dead body was present and available for view (at least before the funeral service began). It was a lot to take in for a young boy and, I expect, for the older members of […]

Embracing Helplessness

Part of me doesn’t want to write about this—feeling and being helpless. Among the feelings I experience on a regular basis, it is one of the least favorite and possibly the champion of them all. Feeling helpless is a loser. If you’re reading this, then likely you know this all too well. You may be a helper or supporter of others. Your job and your orientation in life are to make things better, to make a positive difference. You’ve been trained to intervene. You help solve problems, ease pain and suffering, revise dysfunctional systems, and/or bring relief to the masses […]

Death as Teacher

Death is thought of in many ways. As an (or the) enemy or as a sad and tragic reality. Sometimes as an essential part of the natural cycle of life—“a time to be born and a time to die”—and sometimes as a thief. Grim Reaper, mystery, transition or rebirth. In the Harry Potter books, death is described as the next great adventure and as an old friend. In some situations, death is also thought of like an escape, a relief, or a rest. What about death as a teacher? “If death is the teacher, then it’s not a class […]

No Choice, Some Choices, and ‘Choosement’

A friend was in a horrible car crash about a year and half ago. The car was damaged beyond repair, he was left with lifetime health consequences, and most tragically, another person in the car, his friend, died in the accident. Since the crash, there have been extensive legal discussions and negotiations concerning liability, and just recently a settlement was reached with the trucking company involved. But the term “settlement” didn’t sit well with my friend. Was “settle” really the best word to describe the situation? His wife provided a more acceptable description, suggesting an alternative to replace “settlement.” […]

You Can’t Unfriend the Dead

Not too long ago, I attended a presentation on grieving in a social-media world. Like so many things with social media, there is good news and bad news. The good news is that social media provides new and creative ways for grieving people to connect and to memorialize. These connections can reduce feelings of isolation and provide affirmation and helpful information in powerful ways. The bad news is that, especially for young people, news of a death can travel so fast—sometimes faster than good, accurate information—and this also lends to learning about a death without a real person present […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.