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Articles:

A Look At Anger

by Mary Zemites Anger. Such an uncomfortable subject for most of us to face and discuss. Anger is viewed as a negative emotion and most of us don’t like to pull it out and publicly examine it. It is important to understand that the emotion of anger is not negative or “bad.” In fact, it is a useful signal that there is a problem aching to be resolved. Only the actions that come from anger are sometimes negative or “bad.” When someone we love dies, we experience an intense, yet unfocused, emotional energy. The whole experience of loss is somewhat […]

Renting a Mourner

by Harriet Hodgson When there are big jobs to be done — power washing the deck, tilling a garden, painting a house — Americans rent big equipment. The job gets done quickly and the equipment is returned. Recovering from the deaths of four loved ones was a big job and I wished I could rent a mourner, someone to feel pain for me while I pulled myself together. Two loved ones, my daughter and father-in-law, died the same weekend. The losses stunned me. Six weeks later my brother died and I really wished I could rent a mourner. Then, just […]

Men, Women, Children Grieve Differently

by Andrea Hilgendorf Grief is a painful struggle, but also a normal reaction to loss. There are many different ways to confront grief and each person deals with grief in a different way. Men, women and children do not and will never experience and express grief the same way. Although never truly resolved, grief must be expressed to reach a passage of healing. The transition for a man from grief to healing could be accomplished by performing physical tasks. On the other hand, a woman may talk with others and share her grief. A child will need encouragement from a […]

Finding Hope After a Loss

by Mary Jane Hurley Brant Have you lost someone so special you feel you can never be happy again? I ask this question because sooner or later we will all be hit with a loss we think we cannot bear. No one escapes it. Consider the recent death of Senator Ted Kennedy. During his life he looked grief and personal tragedy in the eye many times. The Senator, as other giants before him, will be missed. His family, as all families, will have to wrap themselves around their monumental loss, cling together, and go forward. They and we know that no one can ever take […]

Emotions of a Diagnosis

by Lisa Buell We sat in a room that no parent wanted to be in. The lighting was low; the walls were painted a soft mauve color, a weak attempt to calm our nerves. The gesture felt irritating, as if the color of the room could magically erase the image of our five- and- a -half month old baby girl lying on a table before us, a catheter in her urethra, a needle in her arm, and my breast in her mouth to soothe her through the harvesting of fluid and tissue. Afterwards, she slept in the arms of her […]

Angel of Hope Memorial

By Carol O’Dell — Amelia Island, FL, has an angel. It stands just past the intersection of 8th and Atlantic. The childlike face lifts toward the sky, arms outstretched as though holding something invisible, and bronzed wings gleam against the stark Florida sun. The inscription at the bottom of the statue reads, “Angel of Hope.” It is encircled by a short brick wall and eight benches with a loved one’s name on each one. I found this “Angel of Hope” one afternoon on a photography/bike trek around the island. I stopped to take a picture and began to read. The inscription […]

Man’s Girlfriend Still Grieving Her Deceased Husband

Question from Tom: My girlfriend and I dated for two years (a few years ago) and then split up. She quickly married someone else. He passed away after four years. We started dating again a year after his death. She still grieves over him. Am I an ass for not being sympathetic. I just found out she is still going to his grave. Is this normal? Michele Neff Hernandez, executive director of Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation, responds: Dear Tom: Watching someone you care about grieve over a lost love takes a lot of patience and compassion. When someone dies, our love for them […]

Mother of Ill Child Dealing With Anticipatory Grief

Question from Trish: I am the mother of a 6-year-old with Duchenne MD. His life expectancy is 20 years old. I am also an LPC intern (I currently work as a crisis counselor for hurricane victims in south Louisiana). I am interested in specializing in grief, learning more about anitcipatory grief, and assisting other families that are dealing with expected loss. I see anticipatory grief as largely overlooked in the grief and loss field. What are the best resources for those experiencing anticipatory grief? Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, responds: My dear Trish: I’m so sorry to learn of your son’s serious illness, […]

‘Moment-of-Death Guilt’ and Other Issues Haunt Widow

Question from Lang: My husband passed away on in May from leukemia. I cried every day for more than 2 months. I have 2 children, 15 and 13. They are OK, but I don’t think I am ok. I was the only one who took care of him during his year of sickness. When he was gone, I was not there to say good-bye. He died alone in the hospital because of heart failure. I miss him daily, hourly. We never talked about death before, so now I am lost. I don’t know what to do without him. There’s no […]

Giving Back to Friends Who Helped You Grieve

Grief is isolating. You may become so isolated that you are barely aware of your friends’ help. Sure, you remember their phone calls and sympathy cards, but you may not see the scope of their caring. As I discovered, the support of friends is necessary for grief reconciliation. On a Friday night in February of 2007, my elder daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash. On Sunday, just two days later, my father-in-law succumbed to pneumonia. I sobbed when I saw their photos on the same page of the newspaper. Friends saw the photos, read the […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.