The Open to Hope Community

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Articles:

Grandmother Wants to Commemorate Deceased Grandson’s Birthday

Deborah writes in: My infant grandson passed away on the day of his birth, and the anniversary is coming. Do you have any suggestions on how to celebrate this day? Mom and Dad are sooo sad. Thank you for your help. Monica Novak, author of The Good Grief Club, responds: Dear Deborah: I am so very sorry for the loss of your grandson. The year following the death of a baby takes a family through such a wide range of emotions, often culminating on the first anniversary of that death, that it can be difficult to decide how to spend the […]

Caregivers Struggle When Parents Age

Most families of our generation don’t talk much about feelings, but when our parent is aging or ill, many emotional issues arise for both the primary caregiver and for other family members. It can be a very challenging time for everyone. My neighbor recently experienced this when her mother in New York state broke her hip in a fall. She and her siblings had very different emotional reactions to the crisis. Some were “too busy” to help while others implied that they couldn’t cope. Kathy was the adult child who was able and willing to take charge of the situation, […]

‘I Just Lost My Son!’ Mother Reaches Out for Help

Tami writes in: I just lost my 18-year-old son in a motorcycle accident….I am so devastated!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can someone help me??????? He is my life! Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder of www.opentohope.com, responds: Dear Tami: Our hearts go out to you. My own son was killed in a fiery crash when he was 17 and I know the shock and pain you are feeling right now. Somehow you get through doing all the things you have to do after such an accident – there are many decisions to make that you don’t feel you can handle but you can and will. If […]

Wife’s Death by Suicide Complicates Man’s Grieving

Question from Nancy: My new partner and I have experienced much joy since finding each other. Both of us have been previously married, and both of us have children. Mine are 21 and 25, while his are 24, 31 and 34. My partner and his children have not yet held a memorial for their wife/mother 4 years after her suicidal death. They have not removed her personal items from the home. They have told everyone she died of illness not suicide. I want to help us to become the couple we deserve to be, but this death hangs over – […]

Where Are Resources for Young Widows?

Question from Bob for author Gloria Lintermans: I am dating a 43-year-old widow with a 9-year-old daughter. Much of what you raise in your book, THE HEALING POWER OF GRIEF, transcends age, but I would love to read about younger widows. Do you know some books about younger widows? Or do you have some thoughts on issues that are more common among younger widows as compared to older widows? Gloria Lintermans responds: Dear Bob: Thank you for writing. The non-profit organization Young Widows or Widowers at http://www.ywow.org/ suggests several books written with the younger widow/widower in mind which you may find helpful. […]

How Does Early Death of Sister Affect Adult Siblings?

Question from TK: My sister and I lost an infant sister in an accident when we were 2 and 5, respectively. Now, 40 years later, I’m struggling to understand how our sister’s death affected us. Outwardly, we are successful with loving spouses and children. Yet there is still a void. Sometimes I think it’s silly to wonder how an event that happened at the edge of our memories could affect our lives today – but when I think of how different our lives would be now if our sister hadn’t died, perhaps it’s a wonder it has not impacted our […]

Should Daughter Protect Elderly Father From Bad Woman?

Karen writes in with a question: Our mother passed away two years ago, and we have recently found out that our dad is dating again. My brothers and I do have an issue with him dating, but we have an issue with the character of person choice to date. How should my brothers and I handle our senior citizen father dating an acquaintance of his son’s that the entire family knows is a drug addict and a prostitute? Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder of Open to Hope, responds: Dear Karen, First let me say how sorry I am to hear of […]

When a Loved One Uses Drugs to Deal With Grief

Glenna writes in: How do I help my partner with the loss of his dad? This happened back in January, and now my partner needs drugs to help with the pain. Someone, please help! Pamela Gabbay, M.A., FT, responds: Dear Glenna, I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your partner’s dad. When a parent dies, it is so painful, and the range of emotions that one experiences can be overwhelming. January wasn’t that long ago and it’s no surprise that your partner is feeling a lot of pain. For many grievers, the intense pain doesn’t subside during the first […]

7 Mistakes of Mourners

by Lou LaGrand Everyone makes mistakes or fails in their attempts to grow and meet the challenges of daily life. Without these miscues little would be learned and growth as a person would be limited. In short, failure is a key ingredient for success and should be looked at as a resource for moving forward, not a behavior to be despised. There is one exception to the above observation: when someone makes a mistake, refuses to learn from it, and keeps repeating the same error expecting positive change to occur. This easily happens in the emotional turmoil of mourning the […]

Memorial Tribute with Windchimes

by Rachel Betzen When we remember loved ones lost and the family and friends most affected, a special memorial can help us honor their lives and soothe the pain of that loss. Memorials for a loved one may include many aspects, but they all have something special that remind us of the person lost. Personalizing a memento allows us to take that special memory and engrave it into something tangible. When a special memorial engraving is placed beneath a finely crafted wind chime, both the imagery and sounds of the instrument make it a powerful symbol of remembrance. For those […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.