Carol O'Dell

Carol D. O'Dell's gripping memoir MOTHERING MOTHER, (April 1, 2007 by Kunati Publishing) is for the "sandwich" generation and overflows with humor, grace and much needed honesty. Written with wit and sensitivity, Mothering Mother offers insight on how to not only survive but thrive the challenges of caring for others while keeping your life, heart, and dreams intact. Carol is an inspirational speaker and instructor focusing on caregiving, spirituality and adoption issues. She has been featured on numerous television, radio and magazine and podcast programs including WEDU/PBS, Artist First Radio, "Coping with Caregiving" national radio, Women's Digest and Mature Matters Publications. Her fiction and nonfiction work has appeared in numerous publications including Atlanta Magazine, Southern Revival, MARGIN, and AIM, America's Intercultural Magazine Carol appeared on the radio show "Healing the Grieving Heart" with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss "Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir." To hear Carol being interviewed on this show, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley031308.mp3

Articles:

New Year’s Resolutions for the Caregiver

By Carol O’Dell —

Do the Holidays Feel Like Too Much? How Caregivers and Families Find Joy in the Season

Do you feel like there’s just too much to do during the holiday season? If you’re caregiving, I’d be willing to bet that your stress levels are ramping on up there about now. It’s not that it’s not all good – the tree, the gifts, the home baked cookies, the parties, the family gatherings, the lights. Every one of those holiday components are wonderful. When the proverbial “soup pot” boils over and the cookies burn, you don’t want to go to one more red-sweater party (or there are no parties and you feel empty), and the whipped cream on top of the hot chocolate–someone says/does […]

The Unlikely Caregiver: Black Sheep of the Family

Life is funny. Sometimes the most rebellious of us, the teen gone bad, the unwed mother of three, the Harley brother in leather and bandanas and lots of tattoos becomes the best caregiver, the most thoughtful son–or daughter. Why? Sometimes those who travel counter to society have the most tender souls. Sometimes the battle with their personal demons have made them even more thoughtful, more real and more alive. They may wrap the package in a prickly covering, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a teddy bear underneath. Our lives are like boomerangs. For some of us, we fling ourselves as […]

Are You the Black Sheep Sibling? The Unlikely Caregiver?

Life is funny. Sometimes the most rebellious of us, the teen gone bad, the unwed mother of three, the Harley brother in leather and bandanas and lots of tattoos who become the best caregiver, the most thoughtful son–or daughter. Why? Sometimes those who travel counter to society have the most tender souls. Sometimes the battle with their personal demons have made them even more thoughtful, more real and more alive. They may wrap the package in a prickly covering, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a teddy bear underneath. Our lives are like boomerangs. For some of us, we fling […]

When Caregiving Takes Its Own Sweet Time, Pace Yourself for the Long Haul

I have the privilege of meeting many, many caregivers–and some of them have been at this for a long, long time. Some caregivers are caring for both parents, some a spouse with a chronic disease, others, an adult child who is disabled or challenged. These are the silent heroes. These are the quiet ones who have cared for others for years, even decades. How do they do it? I’ve had many people say, “I couldn’t do what you did–care for your mom with Alzheimer’s.” I didn’t know I could do it either. Most f the time, caregiving felt like I […]

Why Does Alzheimer’s Effect People Differently?

Alzheimer’s does different things to different people. I’ve heard some people say their spouse or parent got sweeter. “Not my mother,” I say in return, laughing (and almost crying at the same time) at some of the antics my mother and I lived through. My mother had Parkinson’s and later, developed Alzheimer’s. Double whammy. Writing about our daily escapades in Mothering Mother helped me deal with the stress. Some people with Alzheimer’s are docile, too docile. They stop talking, and pretty much stop moving. And honestly, as hurtful and difficult as it is to have a feisty Alzheimer’s loved one, my […]

‘Don’t Leave Me Here Without You’ – Why Caring For a Spouse is So Difficult

By Carol O’Dell — For many of us, caregiving for a spouse is in our future. We like to not think about it, or at least imagine that it’s a long, long time from now. For many, it’s a daily reality. According to the Family Caregiving Alliance, there is a much higher likelihood of receiving care from a spouse than from an adult child. Nearly one-quarter (22%) of caregivers who are themselves 65+ are caring for a spouse. (Personally, I think it’s higher than that). And it’s not all the women who are doing the caregiving. I know lots of […]

Celebrating Mother’s Day When Mom’s Gone, Turn Bitter Into Sweet

Mother’s Day can be bitter-sweet if your mom’s no longer here. It’s so hard to say the word, “dead,” and in many ways, our loved ones live on–in thoughts, in stories, in how they continue to impact our lives. For many, Mother’s Day can be so painful that we do all we can to avoid it. That avoidance is part of grief, and it’s necessary for a while. Grief is like a good soldier, but there comes a time when you say “Thank you, you’ve served me well,” and you let that soldier be released from duty. After my mother died from Alzheimer’s and […]

“Honey, Grandma Died”: Talking to Your Children About Tough Issues

It’s so, so hard to have to tell your son or daughter that their grandfather, grandmother, or parent has died. We dread it so much that we avoid it, but this is a time when our children need us to most. They need us to be clear. They need us to answer their questions. How Do You Tell a Child That a Loved One Has Died? Keep it simple. Use “died”, not “He is sleeping.” Allow your child to express raw feelings freely or ask questions. Answer questions honestly and simply. Do not go into detail, unless asked. If the death […]

Are You Dreading the Death Date of a Loved One?

No matter how much you try not to think about it, you dread the day your loved one died. It’s especially hard, those first couple of anniversaries. Perhaps you spent years caregiving and you’re dealing with the void in your life. Perhaps it was sudden and you feel as if the bottom fell out of your life. It feels as if you’re going to get physically ill, dreading this day. Even years later, a dear friend of mine wonders what’s wrong with her come late May, early June. I remind her that’s when her father died. He commited suicide and […]

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