Harriet Hodgson

Harriet Hodgson has been a freelancer for 43 years, is the author of thousands of articles, and 47 books, including 10 grief resources. She is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists, Alliance of Independent Authors, Minnesota Coalition for Grief Education and Support, and Grief Coalition of Southeastern Minnesota. She is well acquainted with grief. In 2007 four family members died—her daughter (mother of her twin grandchildren), father-in-law, brother (and only sibling) and the twins’ father. Multiple losses shifted the focus of Hodgson’s work from general health to grief resolution and healing. She has appeared on more than 185 radio talk shows, including CBS Radio, and dozens of television stations, including CNN. In addition to writing for Open to Hope, Hodgson is a contributing writer for The Grief Toolbox website and The Caregiver Space website. A popular speaker, she has given presentations at The Compassionate Friends national conference, Bereaved Parents of the USA national conference, and Zoom grief conferences. Her work is cited in Who’s Who of American Women, World Who’s Who of Women, Contemporary Authors, and other directories. For more information about this busy grandmother, great grandmother, author, and speaker please visit I’m no longer Assistant Editor, I’m the author of 47 books, and my website is www.harriethodgson.net.

Articles:

Playing Hide-and-Seek with Grief

The church service had just begun and the congregation and guests were greeting one another. A friend, who knew four of my family members died in 2007, approached me and asked, “How are you?” “I’m good,” I replied. “How are you?” Widowed a year ago, my friend replied, “Oh, I’ve found that grief hides. When you think it’s gone, you find yourself crying.” I understood her comment. After losing my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law, there have been many times when grief reached out and grabbed me. These moments happen without warning and take me by surprise. I expect […]

Always Counting: Anniversary of a Daughter’s Death

Today is the fourth anniversary of my daughter’s death. I’ve been dreading this day for several weeks because it reminds me, yet again, of the finality of loss. It also brings back memories of surgeons operating on my daughter for 20 hours in a desperate attempt to save her life. Heroic as the surgeons’ efforts were, their efforts failed. The lead surgeon came out of the operating room to tell us our daughter was brain dead. Lost in a web of shock and confusion and grief, my husband and I signed the organ donor documents. Two days after my daughter […]

How to Listen to Someone Who’s Grieving

We had just gone to bed when the phone rang. The call was from a member of the ambulance team. She called to tell us our daughter had been injured in a car crash. “It’s really bad,” she concluded. I can still hear her words in my mind and, painful as they were, they helped me prepare for what was to come. After more than 20 hours of surgery, the lead surgeon told us our daughter was brain-dead. Traumatizing as the news was, discontinuing life support and signing documents for organ donation were just as traumatizing. My husband and I […]

The Tucson Memorial Service: Why did People Applaud?

Like millions of other Americans, I turned on the television to watch the memorial service for the victims of the Tucson rampage. The service opened with music, as many traditional services do, and President and Mrs. Obama bowed their heads as the symphony orchestra played the Copeland fanfare. Then things began to change. People, approximately 24,000 of them, began to applaud points the speakers made. “You shouldn’t applaud at a memorial service,” I commented to my husband, who was sitting beside me. “No, you shouldn’t, he agreed. As the service progressed, I realized this wasn’t an ordinary memorial service. Somehow, […]

Giving Yourself Away – A Source of Comfort When You’re Grieving

My daughter loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving was special because she was born on this day. Christmas gave her a chance to give to others, even though she had little money. In her younger years, when she didn’t have twins to care for and her job as an engineer, family members often received homemade gifts. These are happy memories for me, yet the prospect of a new year, can be melancholy. Life isn’t the same without my daughter and the other family members who died in 2007: my father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law. I loved them and counted on their […]

Six Steps to Regaining Balance After a Loss

After a loved one dies you’re overwhelmed with contradictory feelings. You have trouble sleeping and feelings you didn’t know you keep you awake for hours. At least, that is my experience after four family members, my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law, in 2007. Hymns, poems, novels and stories have been written about the quest for peace. Though religious and spiritual beliefs can contribute to peace, in the long run, peace is something we grant to ourselves. In order to survive the grief journey we must make peace with many things. Doing this can be the biggest challenge of our […]

Elizabeth Edwards: Woman of Grace

I identified with Elizabeth Edwards. Like her, I had lost a child. Like her, I was a book author. Like her, I spoke to community groups. For years, I followed Elizabeth on television and admired her from afar. She was truly a woman of laughter, grace and courage. What is courage? According to the dictionary, it is “the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., with firmness and without fear.” I don’t know if Elizabeth faced the recurrence of cancer without fear, but television footage shows her smiling and campaigning for her […]

Grief’s Linking Objects – Why Do We Hold On?

After my daughter died, I became acutely aware of the gifts she had given my husband and me. One year, she gave us a step stool for Christmas because she was afraid our rickety one would collapse and injure us. Years ago, she gave me a counted cross stitch pillow for my birthday. Though she was skilled at needlework, I knew the pillow had taken weeks to make. The house is filled with linking objects and, when loss was still new, I cried every time I saw them. Nan Zastrow writes about linking objects in a “Grief Digest” article, “Linking […]

Avoiding the Victim Role while Mourning

Finding your way through the grief maze takes time, gut-level honesty, and personal courage. Questions keep you awake at night and haunt your days. Who am I now? Will I survive this? What will life become? Unfortunately, some mourners succumb to the victim role, which is damaging and nonproductive. After four family members, including my daughter, died in 2007, the victim role was tempting. I wanted to wallow in grief and victimization. I’m a grandmother and, thanks to life experience, I was able to resist this temptation. Becoming a victim would only make more trouble for me at a troubling […]

Using Linking Objects at Thanksgiving Dinner

The empty chairs at our Thanksgiving table are increasing. Four loved ones died in 2007 and, while the pain of loss has diminished, it’s still with me. My father-in-law, the family patriarch who always asked us to join hands and say, “God bless us every one,” won’t be with us. Nor will my elder daughter and her husband. My brother and I won’t talk on the phone. Thanksgiving is bittersweet because my daughter was born on this national holiday. I remember another bittersweet Thanksgiving. Years ago, when my mother was in the final stage of dementia, she joined us for […]

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