Michael Nunley

Michael Nunley's love for music began in his youth. He was singing in churches and sharing the stage with well known performers in shows and television appearances all across the Ohio Valley. Growing up in a military family, Michael traveled extensively. He considers himself blessed to have experienced the beauty and diversity of so much of our world and it's people. Michael was a music scholarship recipient at Walters State College and at The University of Tennessee. As a member of the U.T. Singers, he toured and performed as a soloist with "Tennessee's Musical Ambassadors." He continued his involvement in the performing arts, playing guitar, bass, synthesizer and percussion as well as expanding his vocal abilities. He began to write and record his own music while serving as Interim Worship Leader at his church. It was during this time he produced his first CD of original songs as a music department fund raiser. In 2010, the Governor of Kentucky awarded Michael membership in The Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels, the state's highest title of honor, for writing and performing the theme song, "Because We Care", for the Kentucky Employee Charitable Contribution campaign. In 2000, tragedy struck twice, causing Michael to have a deeply personal change in his attitude and understanding of loss and grief. His sister, Cyndy, took her own life shortly before his father, Col. Billy F. Nunley (U.S.A.F.) lost his fight with a cancerous brain tumor. Michael is profoundly grateful for the opportunity to have written a song for The Compassionate Friends in 2011, and he found the experience brought him a new level of healing. He hopes to pass along some comfort with his poetry and music. He encourages others to use the creative process of writing, as he has done, to take care of "spiritual housekeeping" and help "Define, Confine, and then Refine " the sorrow into a more constructive energy. Michael says, "Grief is natural. What's UN-natural is dying from it in solitude. Accepting help, learning from it and passing along the healing is far better. That seems to me to be a cycle of life that will expand our compassion without killing the possibility of joy."

Articles:

Summer Memories of my Father

Summer always comes with the memory of my father, Col. Billy F. Nunley’s funeral. The funeral service was on July 2nd and that made the fireworks and military tributes of July 4th a painful echo of the ceremony performed by the Air Force Honor Guard. The sky was a clear blue, the kind of day that sometimes prompted my father to say, “Good day to fly.” The slow drive up to the gravesite took us past flags and flowers, ribbons and wreathes, all in red, white, and blue. The young Air Force men and women carried out their duty flawlessly. […]

The Best Kept Secret and the Biggest Lie

I’ll bet you want me to explain the title of this article in one paragraph and let you get back to your search for healing. It’s never quite that easy is it? That last sentence was a hint, by the way. Truthfully, I don’t want to make today, or any day harder for you, so I promise to make this one short. Consider this: the real reason why a program like Alcoholics Anonymous works, is shared & applied experience. The people in that room KNOW what the problems feel like. They KNOW what worked for them and what failed them. […]

In Case of Grief, Break Glass

Recently, I was reading an article written by Mitch Carmody, ( a fellow author here on the Open to Hope site) introducing his concept of “Proactive Grieving.” Mitch is a multi-talented man with a broad pallet of expressive and creative ways to facilitate healing and personal growth. His piece addressed the attitudes and expectations men face when we become bereaved. We are expected to “Man Up” and be strong for the rest of the family. After all, big boys don’t cry right? Mitch has some great ideas on how to go forward from that concept but I was struck by […]

Death of a Loved One: ‘Getting Over It’ Not an Option

Recently, I was honored to be asked to sing at a balloon release for The Compassionate Friends in Frankfort, Kentucky. We have a lovely little memory garden in a park near my home. Surrounding a central bronze statue of children at play is a circle paved with bricks. Those bricks are inscribed with the names of loved ones who have moved into the next life. One of them has my sister Cyndy’s name on it. Outside that circle are benches and rocks large enough to sit quietly listening to the sound of the nearby stream. Each year, new bricks are […]

Gaining Wisdom on the Journey of Healing

There is a great deal to learn on the journey of healing. I would have preferred to have skipped the reason for some of the lessons, but as we have no choice about being on this winding road, it’s a good idea to know where we are, where we’re going, and what to expect along the way. I believe that those of us traveling with the unwanted hitchhiker named “Grief” need to know how our journey will be different, and how to make the best of it. I’d like to share several kinds of wisdom I have found important to […]

Giving Love, Accepting Help: Keys to Grieving

I have a sister and a father, but I no longer need to buy them birthday cards. I don’t have their numbers in my address book and I don’t worry about running out of minutes on my cell phone plan when I tell them about my latest home improvement project. I still talk to them from time to time, but not when anyone else might be listening. I still love them and tell funny stories to other people about them and share memories with other family members, but mostly, I just miss them. I used to think the amount of […]

Re-Gaining Strength – and Letting Yourself Feel Good About it

It happens. One day you look up and realize that you haven’t set too many places at the table for over a month. One day you find yourself smiling at a photo instead of wanting to turn it face down on the mantle. One day you’ll know that it’s OK to leave room for them in your heart, even when they don’t need room in the backseat. Don’t let yourself feel guilty about making progress. Learning to live with loss is not the same as minimizing the life of your loved one. Finding joy in your present and future is […]

Healing Journey: Things Are Looking Up (And So Am I)

Some of you are far enough along the grief journey to believe that there is life with grief. Please notice I did not say “life AFTER grief.” There is no “after”; there is only understanding and healing. You don’t stop missing a loved one who is no longer with you. You don’t wake up one day with selective amnesia and live as if someone never existed. It doesn’t work that way. What happens is you move from living one breath at a time to one hour at a time to one day at a time. You learn there is strength […]

Man Writes Music to Ease Grief

My name is Michael, and I lost my talented, loveable, indescribable sister to suicide, and my solid, strong, and loyal father to a cancerous brain tumor- in the space of half a year. I don’t have to tell you how that felt. Most of you reading this have your own pain to help you empathize with my story. What I do want to share here with you is how I deal with it; how my music helps me and allows me to try and help others, how it brings me comfort, how it gives me strength. For me, my more […]