Some of you are far enough along the grief journey to believe that there is life with grief. Please notice I did not say “life AFTER grief.” There is no “after”; there is only understanding and healing.
You don’t stop missing a loved one who is no longer with you. You don’t wake up one day with selective amnesia and live as if someone never existed. It doesn’t work that way. What happens is you move from living one breath at a time to one hour at a time to one day at a time. You learn there is strength in the good memories, even if they come with tears, and you learn that you are not alone.
Then, my friends, you learn to believe that there is still a life to live, still joy to find, and still love to share.
If you’re not that far down the path, then please believe me: If you’re willing to accept a little help, you will make it there. If you let those who love you carry a little of the load, if you consider what worked for others who have lived through the devastation of a life-separation before you, then you’ll begin to believe you’re going to make it.
For me, I discovered that prayer and faith provided the comfort I needed to risk opening my eyes to the future. I freely admit that there were days, and weeks, and months when I would inexplicably forget this. But every time I returned to some sort of communion with my Higher Power, I was helped and healed in new and needed ways.
I know that many of you do not believe in a God as I do. I know that some of you who do are still angry with him for your loss. I also know that in great sorrow, many things change. So I write this for those of you who do believe, or who may now be thinking about embracing a new reality and are willing to reach out.
I want to share how it felt each time I asked for and received spiritual comfort. I want to share how it feels when you suddenly realize that when your focus changes from inward to outward, you may just look up and see the sunrise or a rainbow, an eagle in flight, or a shooting star. You might just say to yourself, “Things are looking up…and so am I.”
Things are Looking Up
So many burdens have weighed upon my shoulders.
So many times I’ve missed the finish line.
So many miles on this road made me weary
Looking down I knew I wasted so much time.
But things are looking up now that I remember
the One who passed the cup, broke the bread and poured the wine.
Yes things are looking up ’cause He is always with me.
Things are looking up and so am I
There was a time when I thought I could be trusted
to choose my destination and make my own way.
But I was lost and made such foolish choices
and looking down I found I’d gone astray.
But things are looking up Now that I am trying
to let the Master Potter go ahead and have His way.
Yes things are looking up ’cause I know that He loves me.
Things are looking up and so am I.
You can hear a portion of this song at my website: http://indiemusicworks.com/Michael_Nunley/.
Michael Nunley 2012
MIchael…. you have been on my mind a lot lately. Nots sure why. Anyhow, finally found you again. I know a lot has transpired since we last communicated. Glad to see you are still using your God given gift of music to comfort yourself and others. Also good to see you are also sharing through this website. My very close friend, Rayna, lost her only child (18 year old son) 10 days before he was to graduate in a horrible accident. Needless to say, everything changed after May 4, 2010. To use my son’s words (a long time childhood friend starting as “bed babies” in preschool) “Everything is upside now.” Surreality is doesn’t begin to come close to the past almost 2.5 years now. Anyhow, I plan to share this website with Rayna, Sam’s mom. She is an ardent researcher and I believe she might find this website helpful and possibly encouraging. Hope to hear from you soon. ~ Pam