Monica Novak

Monica Novak became a bereaved mother in 1995 with the stillbirth of her daughter Miranda, learning firsthand the devastation of saying goodbye to a much-loved, much-wanted baby before having the chance to say hello. Three weeks later, she began a journey towards healing when she attended her first Share support group meeting. Along the way, she and six other bereaved mothers formed a close bond that carried them through the grief of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death, as well as the challenges of subsequent pregnancy and infertility. Having been at the opposite ends of grief and joy; despair and hope; indifference and compassion; fear and peace-sometimes simultaneously-she has captured these emotions and the story of her journey in a highly-praised new memoir titled The Good Grief Club. Monica writes and speaks on the subject of pregnancy loss and infant death and is involved with local and national organizations that provide support to families and caregivers. She is a member of the Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Alliance (PLIDA). Her mission is to bring comfort and hope to bereaved parents worldwide and to educate and promote awareness to the physicians, nurses, clergy, counselors, family, and friends of every mother or father who has or ever will be told that their baby has no heartbeat or that nothing more can be done. The mother of three daughters, Monica lives in the Chicago area with her husband, children, and a rat terrier named Sami. For more information, please visit www.thegoodgriefclub.com or e-mail Monica at monica@thegoodgriefclub.com Monica appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” discussing ”Miscarriage and Infant Loss.” To hear Monica being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, go to the following link: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/34073/miscarriage-and-infant-loss

Articles:

The Good Grief Club is Born

By Monica Novak I didn’t see it coming. None of us did. How could we? For Heidi, Tracy, Wendy, and me, it came with the words, “There’s no heartbeat.” For Dawn, Beth, and Darlene, the crushing blow was, “There?s nothing more we can do.” Miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death–these were things that happened to other people. Until they happened to us. Except for Beth and Heidi, none of us knew each other before our losses that began in 1994. One by one we were led to a monthly support group for pregnancy and infant loss at a suburban Chicago hospital where […]

Myth Conceptions of Parental Grief

by David Hurley – Over the past several years I have heard several people make ridiculous and shocking statements regarding parental grief. Most of the time they think they can help, and usually they are well meaning folks. They are comfortable in their ignorance of the realities associated with the loss of a child. Many of the statements have been heard from more than one source so they are common “knowledge.” Those inexperienced in this loss have accepted this conventional “wisdom.” They want to share it with everyone because it somehow seems logical. I call these beliefs “mythconceptions.” They are […]

How to Support a Friend Who is Grieving a Miscarriage or Infant Death

By Chellie Bonebrake – The death of an infant or a miscarriage is so sad. Many times it’s difficult to know what to say, how to say it, and of course you may be wondering what not to say. Often those worries keep people from reaching out to support friends and loved ones who are experiencing this loss. Receiving support and condolences is very important to the grief process. This article is written to assist you in supporting a grieving parent. FIRST OF ALL, WHAT HELPS: 1. I’m sorry. This simple sentence conveys so much. It means you care, you […]

Pregnancy After Pregnancy Loss

By Dr Lina Kaplan – Pregnancy loss presents a formidable challenge to bereaved parents. Grieving parents often report a profound sense of isolation and alienation at the time when they most need support. Many people do not fully appreciate the attachment that already has formed between the parents and their unborn child, nor the symbolic losses associated with pregnancy loss. Grieving parents, therefore, often feel their loss is minimized and trivialized (“it is all for the best”, “you are young, you’ll be pregnant in no time”) and feel both internal and external pressure to “move on.” One way in which […]

Helping a Friend Who Loses a Child

The Message By Betsy Bottino Arenella – My spiritual awakening began on December 11, 2004, with a life-altering phone call. I was walking down the front hall stairs in a bathrobe, my wet hair wrapped in a towel, when I saw my husband standing at the bottom. He was holding the telephone and looking up at me with a strange expression. “Bad news,” my husband said. “Sophia passed away last night.” My legs buckled and I fell into a sitting position on the stairs. Sophia was my best friend Melyné’s rosy-cheeked, active toddler. She had turned one the week before […]

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month

By Nina Bennett – I know all too well the devastation of pregnancy and infant loss. My precious granddaughter Maddy, after a healthy full-term pregnancy and normal labor, with no indication of fetal distress, slid still from her mother’s womb. She was a perfectly formed, beautiful baby, with every indication that she would survive delivery. But she did not. As you can imagine, our entire family was devastated. It turns out that Maddy was one of more than one million babies in the U.S. to die in pregnancy or in the first few months of life last year. For a […]

Stillbirth: “We Knew You Before You Were Born”

By Judith O’Reilly – I love my children. All four of them: there is one I cannot hold. Not true. I hold him in my heart. I just cannot hold his hand in mine. He would be eight today. Two days before he was due to be born, he stopped moving. I did the things you do, ate vanilla ice cream for which I had no appetite, climbed awkwardly into a hot bath, dribbled water onto my still belly, fell silent, thought: “Fuck and buggery.” My husband drove me to hospital. I spoke. “I’m sure it’s fine, but I can’t […]

Why the Stillborn Should Have a Certificate of Birth

Copyright by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore. My story began 14 years ago. On July 27, 1994, I gave birth to my fourth child. It was my baby girl’s due date. About 15 minutes prior to birth, my beloved child, Cheyenne, died. After a full postmortem evaluation, the pathologist could find “no determinable cause” for her death. I was left with countless questions and few answers. About one week after her death, I received Cheyenne’s death certificate in the mail. What I really wanted, though, was the record of her birth. So I called the vital records office in Arizona to request […]

I Lost My Daughter

From The Grief Blog, March 27, 2008 I lost my daughter Lanai on March 9, 2008. She would have been my first. I miss her so much and it hurts. I know that I will get through it but dealing with this alone has been extremely difficult. I find comfort in reading everyone’s comments to each other and praying. I know that she is in a special place and watches over me every day. Although I was only 4 months along, I fell in love with her the first moment that I was pregnant. When my water broke I feel […]

Poem: I Dreamed Today

I DREAMED TODAY, of a little one being born, with ten little toes, ten little fingers and a pug little nose, AND I PRAYED. I DREAMED TODAY, that my little one opened her eyes and noticed that I was her mom, and she looked at me with such a smile and eyes so bright it took my breath away, AND I PRAYED. I DREAMED TODAY that I cooed and tickled my little one and hoped that this feeling of undying love we shared would never end so that I could forever hear my little ones’ laughter, AND I PRAYED. I […]

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