Nina Impala

NINA IMPALA is a highly intuitive multifaceted individual. This she combines with professional education in the End-of-Life Field. Certified by The American Academy of Bereavement for Spiritual Facilitation for the Terminally Ill, Nina also holds a BA in Human Services, is a graduate of Mueller College of Holistic Studies, Author of Dearly Departed What I Learned About Living From the Dying, and a Reiki Master Teacher. Currently she is the Bereavement Coordinator and Counselor for Gentiva Hospice in San Diego, California. For well over 19 years Nina has worked passionately in the hospice field using her gifts visiting the dying and educating families. In addition to working with hospice patients and their families Nina has also assisted families through tragic deaths. Nina works passionately helping them to understand that as much as we would like to have all the answer to the big questions accepting that we don't can be a big hurdle. Nina feels,finding peace in these situations is the greatest gift you can give to another human being. Nina lives in the San Diego area and can be reached at tutoringforthespirit@gmail.com

Articles:

Subsequent Losses

  Interestingly enough, some of us suffer more loss than others.  Having multiple losses close together, and considering that one year is close together, life can get complicated. When this happens, one can hardly grieve one death and then another is in front of us. How do we get through it? How can a heart handle this type of deep pain? When a loved one dies the pain we feel in our chest can be debilitating. Fatigue and thoughts of will I ever stop crying can be a constant. Waking up in the morning with the thought of how in […]

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Death and Rebirth: Making a Home in Your Heart

One of my favorite quotes about the grief journey comes from Rumi, a 13th century theologian and poet: Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom. I live next to a beautiful and very large cemetery that is more like a park than a cemetery; the grounds are meant to be park-like, no large headstones and the most gorgeous trees. People come to this cemetery for its museums, churches, gorgeous fountains, beautiful meditation gardens and statues. I walk in […]

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Where Do I Belong Now? After Both Parents Die

Dad died suddenly in my early fifties. At the funeral, I will never forget the feeling of being 6 years old in a 50-something-year-old body. Mom died just a few short years later; I was strong until the end with her as she battled breast cancer. My years in hospice made me acutely aware of how quickly she would be leaving us. At her funeral the same feeling took over; as the pall bearers walked past me with my mother, I became a child inside. A lady once said to me many, many years ago, I don’t care how long […]

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A Healing Walk in the Cemetery

When our loved ones pass, the loss is visceral, all encompassing. The cemetery feels like a sad place, but as time passes it can be a place of comfort and peace.  I never thought this until I recently moved near one. Literally, it is in my front yard.  It is a very beautiful place full of artwork, sculptures, chapels, museums and even the most heavenly meditation garden. It is a place not just of endings but also beginnings. When we are in the throes of grief, it is hard to see beyond the next minute or hour. Life feels arduous […]

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Where Do They Go?

Recently, I have received phone calls from dear friends who have lost people they love. Lost. That word, it is so final, but do we really know? Still, there is that empty space of where are they? What’s it like? Are they happy and safe? It is so difficult to wrap our human brain around death. I believe that we do get signs. After 20-plus years working in hospice, helping the living and the dying, sometimes I witness and hear things that I know are straight from heaven. My girlfriend was taking care of her dear friend with cancer.  She […]

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Loneliness, Being Alone, Lonesome

I am so sorry for your loss.  There is one feeling that I don’t see discussed much and that is the loneliness that comes with grief. There is a feeling in the heart that makes us feel like we are walking in this world totally alone. It doesn’t matter who we are with. Whether it is a concert, an intimate party with friends, sports events or even the simplest of things like grocery shopping, running errands on a Saturday. Loneliness, being alone and lonesome can even be exhausting. Waking up every day after the death of a loved one is […]

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The Holidays: Helping Seniors Grieve a Lifetime of Marriage

How can I face the holidays without my true love, my one and only love? A gentleman I recently visited is facing his first Christmas without his beloved. Enter gently and you may be able to bring peace to a broken heart. The caregiver warns me that he is very grumpy. Please don’t take it personally, and please don’t tell him you’re from hospice.  I’m used to this. I have learned to kneel to approach a spouse who is grieving, angry, and sad. If I can’t kneel, I grab a chair and pull it up close (board-and-care facilities are short on cozy […]

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Why Does it Hurt So Much?

Grieving people usually don’t ask directly: Why does it hurt so much? But I see that it hurts; I hurt like that. It hurts because you loved. You were connected to another human being heart to heart. It hurts. Death hurts a lot when we love like this. This hurt causes an incredible amount of suffering that hopefully this article may help you with. Recently, watching the suffering of a mother losing her child, a sister losing her brother, and a father losing his son, I was moved to think deeply about human suffering. I prayed about it; in my […]

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Acceptance or Letting Go?

I pick Acceptance.  It makes me cringe if I am in a conversation with someone who is grieving or missing a loved one in any way shape or form and I hear the words, it’s time to let go or you need to let go. I am sure their intentions come from a loving place. There is a time to let go of some things in our lives and grief is not one of them. It is good to let go of people who treat your poorly, it is good to let go of bad habits and it is good […]

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You Did The Best You Could

There is something very important I want to share with you, so listen deep. As a bereavement counselor I speak with numerous people on a daily basis about loss. The number one thing I feel from people is guilt.  The words pour out of them, “If I hadn’t take them to the hospital…” or “What if I hadn’t put him in a nursing home?” “I should have called her more.” Let me tell you something: In those moments when you made the decisions to do or say what you did, you were reacting from that moment and the love in […]

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