Thomas Attig

Thomas Attig is the author of The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love and How We Grieve: Relearning the World, both with Oxford. He has written numerous articles and reviews on grief and loss, care of the dying, suicide intervention, death education, expert witnessing in wrongful death cases, the ethics of interactions with the dying, and the nature of applied philosophy. For details on these other writings, and on his speaking services, contact him at his homepage.

Articles:

Saying Goodbye to Dad

I remember my last visit before Dad died in 1969. Mom called me at graduate school to tell me that he was quite ill (he’d suffered a stroke four years earlier) and had been admitted to the hospital again. She made it clear that if I came, it would be my last visit. Though incredibly weak, Dad, as usual, was glad to see me. Our conversation was minimal. Quiet time predominated. He seemed surprised at my visit, since I had visited him at home not long before. Yet, he acted not so surprised. It was as if he knew why […]

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Love, Separation, and the ‘Dance Full of Mystery’

The author of How We Grieve: Relearning the World, Dr. Tom Attig, talks about love and separation with the Open to Hope Foundation. As a philosopher, Dr. Attig takes a unique approach to teaching and talking about grief. Loving someone is a dance full of mystery, he explains. With every dance partner, you can feel the precariousness of the relationship. This can be with a parent, child, partner, or even a pet. The death of their soul eludes you. The movements of each dance goes beyond any perceived imperfections. Whether a loss is sudden or expected, what can you do […]

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Open to  hope

Thomas Attig: Remembering

The author of How We Grieve: Relearning the World, Dr. Tom Attig, talks with the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) about remembering as a key part of the healing process. Wherever you turn, you miss your loved one. There are gifts, photos, mementos, food, music, places, and occasions. From family members to friends, even your own reflection can trigger a memory. Reminding you of your separation is incredibly painful. The first reminders occur only once, and fewer occur over time. However, you never stop having first encounters. Fresh pain can surprisingly be brought up even years later. Still, […]

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Open to  hope

Tom Attig: Death Rituals and Traditions

Tom Attig’s book, Death, Dying and Bereavement in Contemporary Society explores the rituals, evolutions and traditions of how we handle death. He spoke about his work with Dr. Gloria Horsley of The Open to Hope Foundation during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling 2015 conference. Together with his co-author, Judy Stillion, they decided that there were “too many old foxes in the field” when it came to this industry, and it was time for a refresher course. Talking about death and grief is uncomfortable for many in numerous societies, but it shouldn’t be. After all, it’s inevitable. The […]

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Open to  hope

Holiday Sorrows and Precious Gifts

I am sure that I am not alone in approaching American Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years with sorrow in my heart over the death of a loved one.  I hope these reflections will provide guidance for reaching through the sorrows of loss in the coming season. During the holidays, the pain of separation from loved ones who have died can become acute and preoccupying.  Many will feel especially distant from others when the world is caught up in material consumption and merriment.  It’s hard not to resent life in the world around us going on as if nothing has happened […]

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Open to  hope

Saying Goodbye to Dad

By Thomas Attig I remember my last visit before Dad died in 1969. Mom called me at graduate school to tell me that he was quite ill (he’d suffered a stroke four years earlier) and had been admitted to the hospital again. She made it clear that if I came, it would be my last visit. Though incredibly weak, Dad, as usual, was glad to see me. Our conversation was minimal. Quiet time predominated. He seemed surprised at my visit, since I had visited him at home not long before. Yet, he acted not so surprised. It was as if […]

Read More