Can grief hide and come back later? I was recently asked this question by one of my followers. And, while I was thinking about my answer, a photo showed up in my life to confirm what I was already thinking. “Life is a spiral. Not a Circle.”
We live in a culture that doesn’t always honour the grieving process and usually much sooner than is good for us we are thrown back into work and our other roles.
We are forced to develop coping mechanisms so we can get through the day in a socially acceptable way, i.e,. not crying in front of a table you are serving (I did that once).
“Life is a spiral. Not a Circle.”
This means that even though we may push our feelings of grief away (as a very intelligent coping mechanism), yes, it will resurface to be healed (sometimes at the most inopportune moment).
This is a blessing in disguise. Life/the universe/whatever you want to call it has your best interest at heart. It wants you to heal and will continue to give you the opportunity to heal until the work is done.
I know, perhaps not what you wanted to hear, but once the work is done, I’m living proof that grief actually can improve your life.
So what do you do about it?
I’d like to offer you some potent tools to keep in mind for the next time the spiral comes around.
1. Do a yoga pose called “Child’s pose.” Remember to breathe. I would choose Ujayi breath which is calming to the nervous system.
2. Give yourself permission to grieve. Feel your feelings as they come up without any judgement. Let go of resistance and allow yourself the space and time you need to process. Let the feelings (whatever they are) bubble up so they can be released. Cry. Scream. Journal. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you.
3. Get support. People really do want to help; but, you may have to ask for it. A simple available, “Can I have a hug” can work wonders.
Be gentle on yourself. Be kind. Healing is a process, and you are doing a beautiful job.